Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

[BlendedSlop]

Grandpapamama Jack. There was a brilliant gif by @Alansbigplate of Jack as Grandpa Joe back in the day

It's bloody terrifying and hilarious in equal measure. @Bugger13 still has it as their avi

 

[houseofhoop]

View attachment 1794572
Just a reminder that our new tea-time classic serial, GRIFT AND GRIFTABILITY, continues this Sunday with episode 3 of the much-loved drama.
Mr Elton has persuaded Emma Woodhouse to paint a portrait of Highbury's newest and most mysterious resident, Miss Monroe.
But will she be too much for Emma's skills to capture on canvas?

That's GRIFT AND GRIFTABILITY, Sunday tea-time.

I’ve been reading these to my husband and he’s as excited as me!

 

[That Forensic Man]

Wonder if this where she got the idea (probably not) View attachment 1796591
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Cropped because it amuses me

 

[ChaosCEO]

Why are you making jokes when your child is fragile and snuffling? And everything that exists in your world is between the snuffles (also, wut?)

Thank you for saying this because that “…everything exists…” bit was confusing the slop outta me. I was thinking “I have a kid. She was sick this week. She had a high temperature and I was worried; this should resonate with me deeply. And yet… what?!?” It didn’t make any sense.

Wonder if this where she got the idea (probably not) View attachment 1796591
View attachment 1796592

Mince pies with melted cheese? Does that sound normal and nice to other people?

 

[Lucky Escape]

My prediction: she'll not have moved yet, and her house will be so full of packing boxes that she'll be forced to decamp to the shed. (Never mind, Jack, it'll be good practice for living in the not crappy four bedroom studio flat that Big Dave's buying for you you're going to RENT.)

This means she'll need to buy huge amounts of improbable emergency kit: solar heaters, expensive down jackets, wind-powered head torches, mountaineering-grade folding chairs, etc. The cold will cause her bones to crumble, and she'll be forced to set up a hot tub which she found in a puddle. She'll run this at max temperature... the leccy bill? who cares, she's cancelled her direct debit and is moving out soon, so it'll be the next tenants who have to deal with getting a prepay meter installed.

Christmas dinner will be cooked on a gel fuel stove, and won't actually be ready until the day after boxing day. The only solid part of it will be the gravy, and she'll spend New Year's Eve in hospital with a mystery case of listeriosis.

LJC, I've just started reading thread 123, as recommended by @Sideboard Bob and already I can see that the final paragraph of my post above wasn't nearly so outlandish a fantasy as I'd thought - it's actually pretty much exactly what happened in 2020, only with "long covid" instead of listeriosis.

bleeping hell, it's really quite impossible to out-grim Jack, isn't it?

 

[pumbilical cord]

I never thought her agent dropped her. I think they put a different email in the bio to try to keep all of Jack’s stuff in one place that maybe she + agent has access to and to stop her agent getting constant emails from trolls/flying monkeys/casual observers. The poor woman’s email inbox was probably dominated by Jack at the height of the kick off, removing her email and her name from Jack’s bio makes sense.

Edited because distracted by child and pressed send too soon - they must be making good money off her, and I think if there was any prospect of dropping it would quietly gently have happened several chaoses ago.

Her crises online probably sell books, and both her agent and the one whose a publicist/therapist have historically basically encouraged the start of spirals either via direct engagement or by liking tweets. The duty of care seems to be somewhat lacking given that while Jack’s excuses etc may well all be lies, I believe she has been genuinely ill at various points and you’d expect an agent to have tried to step in for her own good, not encourage her and then stay mysteriously silent when the inevitable going too far happens.

I used to feel bad for the agents and publishers who had to deal with Jack. But as time goes by, it's harder to feel bad for them.

Jack is obviously ill, not in plethora of ways she has claimed over the years, but she obviously has some mental instability, and I'm not sure she really knows who she is. I can't stand her, but I also feel anger at the various people who have enabled her over the last decade or so. From the Guardian, to the daytime TV shows that have her back, to the awards organisers that elevate her profile.

I might not like her, but I feel angry they've used an obviously unwell woman to further their profits.

I don't even enjoy reading the Guardian anymore because of their enabling.

 

[SharkAttack]

I keep thinking about her agent. At ehat point foes the hassle & reputational damage outweigh the 15% or whatever thst they make off her? I genuinely can't see what value Jack Monroe brings to that relationship

Yes because she's hardly going to be coining it right now, so 15pc of practically nothing is surely not worth the aggro.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

I used to feel bad for the agents and publishers who had to deal with Jack. But as time goes by, it's harder to feel bad for them.

Jack is obviously ill, not in plethora of ways she has claimed over the years, but she obviously has some mental instability, and I'm not sure she really knows who she is. I can't stand her, but I also feel anger at the various people who have enabled her over the last decade or so. From the Guardian, to the daytime TV shows that have her back, to the awards organisers that elevate her profile.

I might not like her, but I feel angry they've used an obviously unwell woman to further their profits.

I don't even enjoy reading the Guardian anymore because of their enabling.

Yeah, at best her agents are enabling a grifter with a questionable backstory and recipes that don’t work.

At worst they’re fully taking advantage of a woman who is unwell and also enabling a scam.

I suspect the truth is somewhere in between the two with elements of both, but neither option shows agent/publicist in good light.

And unlike Jack’s family who have ties to her no matter what (even if they did cut her off), this is all a choice for them.

 

[houseofhoop]

I’ve been reading these to my husband and he’s as excited as me!

Is a clever frau (not me!) able to save these posts to the files??

 

[ReginaPhalangee]

I was re reading that thread last night and nearly had an aneurysm laughing at @ReginaPhalangee 's response to the first SEO post that was just "wut?"

Was genuinely worried I was having some kind of brain event

 

[pumbilical cord]

Was genuinely worried I was having some kind of brain event

I also loved you getting a sentient mirror and being very afraid, before even plugging it in!

 

[Onestorytoomany]

I never thought her agent dropped her. I think they put a different email in the bio to try to keep all of Jack’s stuff in one place that maybe she + agent has access to and to stop her agent getting constant emails from trolls/flying monkeys/casual observers. The poor woman’s email inbox was probably dominated by Jack at the height of the kick off, removing her email and her name from Jack’s bio makes sense.

Edited because distracted by child and pressed send too soon - they must be making good money off her, and I think if there was any prospect of dropping it would quietly gently have happened several chaoses ago.

Her crises online probably sell books, and both her agent and the one whose a publicist/therapist have historically basically encouraged the start of spirals either via direct engagement or by liking tweets. The duty of care seems to be somewhat lacking given that while Jack’s excuses etc may well all be lies, I believe she has been genuinely ill at various points and you’d expect an agent to have tried to step in for her own good, not encourage her and then stay mysteriously silent when the inevitable going too far happens.

It kinf of reminds me of when you hear child stars coming out after their rehab stints with tales of how their agents, managers and others made them work even when they were bascially just hanging on. I know she is not a child( despite her facetuned selfies) or a star i do beleive alot of people dont stop her or sometimes even encourage her to behave the way she does, telling her its kooky or interesting and the people will love you, then seemingly ignore or pick up the pieces when that is not the case.

I have thought for the longest time the people close to her need to softly gently sit her down and tell her to stop, encourage her to get the skills to hold down a regular undemanding job and work on herself and her relationship with her son.
No one is though, because then they would lose their publicity cash cow.

 

[AnnRKey]

I don't think she is unwell, nor ill. I think she has never evolved from her brattish teenage tantrum attention seeking behaviours and rather than invest in herself to improve, she has expected (and still does) others to hand over money and expensive items to her like the school bully used to.

All her claims about poor mental health (let's put her Twitter addiction to the side here), ADHD, autism etc are based on her witnessing others who have legitimate diagnosis being given things, quite possibly within the family circle, which she was most likely denied because she was an obnoxious child.

 

[TurnedUpInTipp]

Holy Shite!
Mrs TUIT would sell my soul for one of these.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Was genuinely worried I was having some kind of brain event

I've just got to that bit - what a perfect thread!

Christmas dinner made in 7 slow cookers over several days. With no roasties.
Festive porridge. Two servings of gold-sprayed trifle. Fish and chips. Kippers. Mackerel and Lime.
Childhood abduction trauma and selective mutism
A maverick support bubble, flouting quarantine rules, vast contradictions, fever dreams
An article about Louisa in the Times, which triggered an outrageous narc rage episode (was Jack's behaviour around this the reason for L's return being so short-lived?)
10 days of covid symptoms becoming 3 weeks becoming long covid all in the space of a few hours
The Trifle Defender origin story(!)
Picking fights with Long Covid people about anosmia
A giant evidence-erasing twitter delete spree

And then drifting onto Jurgen Klopp's mouthfeel, a sentient mirror, cheese and onion Tayto, and complicated mitherings about Jack using 'rona to defeat Google....

Jack, will you please hurry up and cause some more chaoi like that, please?

 

[HotesTilaire]

I've just got to that bit - what a perfect thread!

Christmas dinner made in 7 slow cookers over several days. With no roasties.
Festive porridge. Two servings of gold-sprayed trifle. Fish and chips. Kippers. Mackerel and Lime.
Childhood abduction trauma and selective mutism
A maverick support bubble, flouting quarantine rules, vast contradictions, fever dreams
An article about Louisa in the Times, which triggered an outrageous narc rage episode (was Jack's behaviour around this the reason for L's return being so short-lived?)
10 days of covid symptoms becoming 3 weeks becoming long covid all in the space of a few hours
The Trifle Defender origin story(!)
Picking fights with Long Covid people about anosmia
A giant evidence-erasing twitter delete spree

And then drifting onto Jurgen Klopp's mouthfeel, a sentient mirror, cheese and onion Tayto, and complicated mitherings about Jack using 'rona to defeat Google....

Jack, will you please hurry up and cause some more chaoi like that, please?

Oh man Dec 20-Jan 21 was exhausting. She just chaosed and chaosed and then…it got loads worse and Free School Meals and Roadside Mum happened.
she got to go to dayhab, which was great coz we all needed some downtime

 

[MooBelle]

I've just got to that bit - what a perfect thread!



Christmas dinner made in 7 slow cookers over several days. With no roasties.

Festive porridge. Two servings of gold-sprayed trifle. Fish and chips. Kippers. Mackerel and Lime.

Childhood abduction trauma and selective mutism

A maverick support bubble, flouting quarantine rules, vast contradictions, fever dreams

An article about Louisa in the Times, which triggered an outrageous narc rage episode (was Jack's behaviour around this the reason for L's return being so short-lived?)

10 days of covid symptoms becoming 3 weeks becoming long covid all in the space of a few hours

The Trifle Defender origin story(!)

Picking fights with Long Covid people about anosmia

A giant evidence-erasing twitter delete spree



And then drifting onto Jurgen Klopp's mouthfeel, a sentient mirror, cheese and onion Tayto, and complicated mitherings about Jack using 'rona to defeat Google....

Jack, will you please hurry up and cause some more chaoi like that, please?

Glad you are enjoying these blasts from the past!
The abduction story is one of those jackisms that has a small grain of truth.
In Jack's many retelling of this tale she would have you believe she was bound and gagged, chucked in the back of a van and then held in a basement. None of which is true.
Her mother mentioned it on a public FB page to warn other parents. Apparently when Jack was 12 she was at a playground with her mother and siblings. A woman with quite obvious mental health issues approached Jack and held her hand. Mama H shouted and the woman left.
I don't doubt it was frightening but she wasn't abducted and the woman made no attempt to lead/take Jack away.

 

[jenny2603]

Glad you are enjoying these blasts from the past!
The abduction story is one of those jackisms that has a small grain of truth.
In Jack's many retelling of this tale she would have you believe she was bound and gagged, chucked in the back of a van and then held in a basement. None of which is true.
Her mother mentioned it on a public FB page to warn other parents. Apparently when Jack was 12 she was at a playground with her mother and siblings. A woman with quite obvious mental health issues approached Jack and held her hand. Mama H shouted and the woman left.
I don't doubt it was frightening but she wasn't abducted and the woman made no attempt to lead/take Jack away.

"she wasn't abducted and the woman made no attempt to lead/take Jack away."

Well you wouldn't would you? Good God, imagine stealing Jack, you'd turn yourself in to the police within about ten minutes.

 

[Bugger13]

I’ve been reading these to my husband and he’s as excited as me!

Same here-and my Harold isn’t even into period drama. Yes I loved the grandpa Jack gif-it’ll take a real zinger for me to change it. Just read that old thread & her ‘mememe’ tit to Kirsty. Just nauseating. And if nothing’s changed Jack, doesn’t that prove the point that all you do is tweet because whatever you think you’re doing, it’s clearly not working.
Met Someone at Harold’s work do last night who reminded me so much of Jack. Humblebragging, apparently ‘tricks’ people into confiding in her so she can help them, telling people she’s just met highly personal details of her kids. Absolutely nauseating. My old Harold challenged her and while I cringed a little, inside I was cheering him on. He was polite but called her out. I’d love to set him on Jack.
(Weirdly the narcissist really sucked up to him as a result & told me ‘he’s just like me’ (he absolutely isn’t). Is this usual for narcs, does anyone know?)

 

[Yer_wha?!]

It shrivels my peelings that, in the description of Grifty Kitchen on Amazon, it still says that she's working on the Voracious Bum Infection.

I haven't dared look in case Amazon thinks I'm interested and she shows up on the home screen of the app from then on