Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

[Lostcat]

Mince pies with melted cheese? Does that sound normal and nice to other people?

My Lancashire relatives eat their Christmas cake with a bit of sharp Cheddar on the side, as is apparently tradition up Yorks/Lancs way, so I just texted one of them to see how they would feel about a mince-pie filled toastie, either with or without melted cheese inside, expecting them to have a giggle over it.

Got a response of "What a brilliant idea, we'll do that at New Year when you come for a visit!"

...I may be regretting my actions a little bit here...

 

[jenny2603]

Same here-and my Harold isn’t even into period drama. Yes I loved the grandpa Jack gif-it’ll take a real zinger for me to change it. Just read that old thread & her ‘mememe’ tit to Kirsty. Just nauseating. And if nothing’s changed Jack, doesn’t that prove the point that all you do is tweet because whatever you think you’re doing, it’s clearly not working.
Met Someone at Harold’s work do last night who reminded me so much of Jack. Humblebragging, apparently ‘tricks’ people into confiding in her so she can help them, telling people she’s just met highly personal details of her kids. Absolutely nauseating. My old Harold challenged her and while I cringed a little, inside I was cheering him on. He was polite but called her out. I’d love to set him on Jack.
(Weirdly the narcissist really sucked up to him as a result & told me ‘he’s just like me’ (he absolutely isn’t). Is this usual for narcs, does anyone know?)

Those screenshots! Jack, the reason the speech you've been giving for the last seven years has had so little impact, is because it's made up shite but people were too embarrassed to call you out. Sure, they'll be a few upper middle class saps sitting there with their eyes out on stalks but most other people are sitting there thinking 'is it me, or is she full of it?'.

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I haven't dared look in case Amazon thinks I'm interested and she shows up on the home screen of the app from then on

This has sadly happened to me. Although the stunt hair amuses me every time, so it’s not all bad.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Glad you are enjoying these blasts from the past!
The abduction story is one of those jackisms that has a small grain of truth.
In Jack's many retelling of this tale she would have you believe she was bound and gagged, chucked in the back of a van and then held in a basement. None of which is true.
Her mother mentioned it on a public FB page to warn other parents. Apparently when Jack was 12 she was at a playground with her mother and siblings. A woman with quite obvious mental health issues approached Jack and held her hand. Mama H shouted and the woman left.
I don't doubt it was frightening but she wasn't abducted and the woman made no attempt to lead/take Jack away.

I think Jack was very frightened by it (and I suspect was probably told by at least one person she shouldn’t be which isn’t really fair to a kid) but I also think it got her attention. Mama H was clearly quite rattled by it and I wonder if, like the birth mark, it meant her attention was focused on Jack not the foster children for a short period.

She really seems to have the impression you only get attention/sympathy if you’re ill or if something traumatic has happened and I genuinely think that’s rooted in the fostering, which also explains her resentment towards the foster children. It’s probably not that uncommon a feeling/impression for children in that situation, but Jack is unique that she’s not grown out of it.

 

[kachoochoo]

She really, really, really shouldn’t have mentioned Grandpa Joe. Sat on his arse in bed FOR YEARS being waited on and paid for by the hardworking Buckets until there was a chance of a jolly, then - It’s a miracle! He can walk! “The trip of a lifetime is mine, thanks.” How Jack is that?

At least Grandpa Joe actually took his kid round the chocolate factory.

also, grandpa joe was on coke

Spoiler: grandpa joe's coke nails

 

[Country Bumpkin]

I've just got to that bit - what a perfect thread!

Christmas dinner made in 7 slow cookers over several days. With no roasties.
Festive porridge. Two servings of gold-sprayed trifle. Fish and chips. Kippers. Mackerel and Lime.
Childhood abduction trauma and selective mutism
A maverick support bubble, flouting quarantine rules, vast contradictions, fever dreams
An article about Louisa in the Times, which triggered an outrageous narc rage episode (was Jack's behaviour around this the reason for L's return being so short-lived?)
10 days of covid symptoms becoming 3 weeks becoming long covid all in the space of a few hours
The Trifle Defender origin story(!)
Picking fights with Long Covid people about anosmia
A giant evidence-erasing twitter delete spree

And then drifting onto Jurgen Klopp's mouthfeel, a sentient mirror, cheese and onion Tayto, and complicated mitherings about Jack using 'rona to defeat Google....

Jack, will you please hurry up and cause some more chaoi like that, please?

Summarised like that really makes you realise what a totally deranged hole she is. That's not bloody normal.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

"she wasn't abducted and the woman made no attempt to lead/take Jack away."

Well you wouldn't would you? Good God, imagine stealing Jack, you'd turn yourself in to the police within about ten minutes.

 

[Emmapism]

Does any else want the 'lawd have mercy' comedian on Tiktok/reels to script some stuff around a Jack recipe? I so so wish she would get on Tiktok.

'This is ready to go!'

'Ready to go in the bin'.

Like I can actually picture it. Manifesting this for 2023 please

 

[Jelly Bean]

This is the blurb around Jack being number two most effective communicator of the year
Hilarious. Bizarrely they even included Mom's begging tweet as an example of her celebrity friends endorsing her message
That Man is at 19, and the self regarding prat Baddiel is in there too.
Spoilered as quite long.

Spoiler: PR thingy

 

[Ooointitot]

*rushes in waving twitter excitedly*

JACK! JACK! I'VE FOUND THE PERFECT BACK COVER BLURB FOR YOUR AUTOBIOGRAPHY!

 

[houseofhoop]

Those screenshots! Jack, the reason the speech you've been giving for the last seven years has had so little impact, is because it's made up shite but people were too embarrassed to call you out. Sure, they'll be a few upper middle class saps sitting there with their eyes out on stalks but most other people are sitting there thinking 'is it me, or is she full of it?'.

Also saying that just tweeting about it isn’t helping… erm pot … (cooper) kettle… black??

 

[Smol Pixel]

I think Jack was very frightened by it (and I suspect was probably told by at least one person she shouldn’t be which isn’t really fair to a kid) but I also think it got her attention. Mama H was clearly quite rattled by it and I wonder if, like the birth mark, it meant her attention was focused on Jack not the foster children for a short period.

She really seems to have the impression you only get attention/sympathy if you’re ill or if something traumatic has happened and I genuinely think that’s rooted in the fostering, which also explains her resentment towards the foster children. It’s probably not that uncommon a feeling/impression for children in that situation, but Jack is unique that she’s not grown out of it.

Spoiler: Merail

My mum was a children and families social worker and this was one of the things that contributed to my fuckedupness c-PTSD because I felt completely sidelined and like my feelings didn’t matter (not a direct path from mum’s career to this outcome, other factors contributed). So I can absolutely empathise with Jack there. However, I didn’t grow up to be a scamming, lying grifter so make of that what you will.

This is the blurb around Jack being number two most effective communicator of the year
Hilarious. Bizarrely they even included Mom's begging tweet as an example of her celebrity friends endorsing her message
That Man is at 19, and the self regarding prat Baddiel is in there too.
Spoilered as quite long.

Spoiler: PR thingy

View attachment 1797062View attachment 1797070View attachment 1797076View attachment 1797083View attachment 1797086View attachment 1797087View attachment 1797089View attachment 1797092View attachment 1797094

IT’S CALLED DUE DILIGENCE FFS. Someone get these people a fact checker.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Ahh, i enjoyed reading the comments. People having been telling her the food looks like grey slop for a decade.

All those English people having a go at Finns for saying that slop is not Finnish and looks rank seem delightful.

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Spoiler: Merail

My mum was a children and families social worker and this was one of the things that contributed to my fuckedupness c-PTSD because I felt completely sidelined and like my feelings didn’t matter (not a direct path from mum’s career to this outcome, other factors contributed). So I can absolutely empathise with Jack there. However, I didn’t grow up to be a scamming, lying grifter so make of that what you will.

IT’S CALLED DUE DILIGENCE FFS. Someone get these people a fact checker.

Spoiler: Re: me-rail

That sounds really tough. I have a friend whose parents took in foster children and when Jack came up, she said she could understand the resentment. As an adult my friend has grown out of it and says she realises with hindsight that everything was more complicated than it seemed, but it was rough for her as a child because the constant stream of “you should be thankful” wasn’t/isn’t actually a great response to a child who felt starved of attention or was upset. It also sounds like Jack’s parents prided themselves on taking particularly challenging children which is admirable and absolutely worthy of praise - but perhaps makes it more likely they took up a lot of space and that Jack could have felt neglected.

She’s responsible for her own actions as an adult of course, but I think it’s where it comes from.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Glad you are enjoying these blasts from the past!
The abduction story is one of those jackisms that has a small grain of truth.
In Jack's many retelling of this tale she would have you believe she was bound and gagged, chucked in the back of a van and then held in a basement. None of which is true.
Her mother mentioned it on a public FB page to warn other parents. Apparently when Jack was 12 she was at a playground with her mother and siblings. A woman with quite obvious mental health issues approached Jack and held her hand. Mama H shouted and the woman left.
I don't doubt it was frightening but she wasn't abducted and the woman made no attempt to lead/take Jack away.

I think she was about 5 or 6 and the woman took her hand.

Also around the time of the fostering starting, she was having the trips to GOSH for her birthmarks. So hospital did equal attention. Especially as she was being usurped from her position of baby of the family.

 

[Droosie123]

Surely Grift and Griftability has to be a contender for thread title, am sure someone suggested it further back.

 

[usefullyuseless]

Cropped because it amuses me

View attachment 1796669

The amount of food she/Mrs J consume(d) in bed is absolutely disgusting. Where's your civility?!

 

[hooplifehero]

I’ve been reading these to my husband and he’s as excited as me!

I hope you do the voices!

The only issue with GRIFT and GRIFTABILITY as a thread title is that the story will last another two weeks exactly, so while it would appear in that thread, it would also appear in earlier and later ones. But no problem really.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Oh I do hope she breaks cover tonight for the kickyball!

I would love some Jackommentary

 

[Jelly Bean]

Oh I do hope she breaks cover tonight for the kickyball!

I would love some Jackommentary

Any Liverpool players playing?
I haven't got a clue but I presume Jack doesn't either.
That loving them was a strange interlude, even for her.