Jack Monroe #437 C U Next Wednesday

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A tin of Mel Donte's Sitrus Calad!

I'm going to snarf it down like the greedy goblin that I am, after I've boiled it for 2 hours to remove the toxins and then sling it in the nutribullet.

Thank you, Slopbot!

 
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I am not sure what role Jack will play in this nativity scene but I am eager to see the results. Sorry, I have no clue what a "politics nativity scene" is or what the point of such a horror might be. I just know that I never, ever want to be trapped in a lift with anyone who has one.
 
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Oh dear lord, what kind of tedious fuckery is that?

I got a lovely glass kettle. Although with my track record of breaking stuff, I fear it may end up like Jack's. Just without the karate moves she claimed hers involved!
 
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Oh dear lord, what kind of tedious fuckery is that?

I got a lovely glass kettle. Although with my track record of breaking stuff, I fear it may end up like Jack's. Just without the karate moves she claimed hers involved!
Having conducted a FORENSIC investigation, it appears to be a teacher planning to expose children to a nativity scene that has Jack in it. There ought to be law against it but the country is governed by irresponsible nitwits.
 
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I think a lot of that is true, but the behaviours themselves are so similar!
 
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I’m a bit disappointed with SlopBot’s gift



I do SO MUCH for people, I grind my bones to literal dust for the povs, and this is all the ingrates give me? Send cashos please!
 
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They need to make a thread about Darren macgarvey on here, total drama hound on Twitter and changes his political tune as often as Jack misses a Patreon delivery date.
 
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In scenes reminiscent of an actual Christmas Day in 1984, I do NOT like my present and am sitting glaring at it and being hard done to.
Everyone else got lovely presents like Charlie Binghams and Faberge Eggs. I got the Joules Yellow Jacket, I can’t even return it because they went bust. Hmpf.
 
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Having conducted a FORENSIC investigation, it appears to be a teacher planning to expose children to a nativity scene that has Jack in it. There ought to be law against it but the country is governed by irresponsible nitwits.
Eww. I hate how many of these people have infested the education system. And as for Jack being a 'recognisable figure', I highly doubt it!
 
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I'm at this. My first foray into the limelight was playing the stable door in my kindergarten's 1972 production of the Nativity.
They didn't want me talking as I had quite a strong Québecan accent, much like Jack being ostracised for her coarseness I was already facing xenophobia at the age of 5.
 
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Thankspaceyou Slopbot, unless it's not actually a fancy lipstick but an item from Jack's 'special drawer'...

 
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Eww. I hate how many of these people have infested the education system. And as for Jack being a 'recognisable figure', I highly doubt it!
I have faith in the kids. Jack will have glasses and a Hitler moustache by morning break and a cock and balls somewhere anatomically unlikely by lunchtime.
 
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A fancy new lawn mower! Thank you SlopBot , you must have seen my unruly lawn. I shall keep it securely locked in the garage. I shan't have it stolen by pesky Southend thieves.
 
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I'm fine, lads! I ended up playing the lead role in Iolanthe in Grade 7 even though I still had the accent. Showed those fuckers what I was made of. You could say I had the last laugh...
 
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Would you like my black dylon for it?
 
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