Mine is not allowed to fart in the bedroom at all. If I hear so much as a hoot or a fizz from his nether regions, he is exiled to the spare room for the whole night.
Jack Monroe #434 The price of jam: Will it be £40 by the end of the year?
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Imagine thinking that scoffing anchoïade-egg-horrors in bed is working. Mind you, I’d far rather go to actual work.
Sorry no idea where this is going to land (and it’s only really “Jack-adjacent”) but I just came home from a 12hr shift to find my boyfriend taking his jeans out of the oven. This morning I told him his freshly washed jeans wouldn’t dry in time for tonight when he wanted to wear them without putting heating on. He refused as we only have electric and he thought it was a waste of money. Of course I was right so he came up with the idea to stick them in the oven after he finished cooking his dinner. Annoyingly it has helped make them wearable. I’m not sure if he’s a genius or an idiot, or if I’m attracted or repulsed. Either way thought Jack might like the tip for Grifty Kitchen Part II.
I think she goes back in time
Me too, tender one. It's my aneurysm. She's not fit to be in the same room as the person who ties his shoelaces. To think she actually dared to tell him a pack of lies about her "backstory" when he and his family did rely on food banks!!??!! The brass neck of this privileged twit to even dream of putting herself on a par with him. I remain grateful that he kicked her unceremoniously to the kerb as soon as he could.
Ooh, we should all give tips for Jack’s free ebook that she probably hasn’t yet written. My old Harold had a stale doughnut he wanted to eat when we lived in a rental with a very fussy, interior designer landlady. He decided to microwave it, bit it & liquid jam shot out like molten lava, burning him & squirting all over the curtains & pristine carpet.
You’re welcome Jack. Both thrifty & warming.
6 hours 48 minutes per day free from work
OT a whole listicle of “Susan, it’s an aubergine recipe”
hoping to find smol pixie on it, but think it’s unlikely
34 Hilariously Dumb Comments People Left On Internet Recipes That Got Called Out By This TikToker
Are we judging anyone who uses mayonnaise instead of heavy cream? Yes. Yes, we are!
www.boredpanda.com
If you’re quick, you might make final, final, final, final, final, final, final, final, final, final, final edits. (In Jack’s head, I think this is done about three months after going to print)
Yeah we used to do this back in the day. It does require a nice clean oven though, so Jack could never. Clothes out of the oven, iron your hair, Brookside omnibus, chippy tea then big night out. Classic Saturday.
I’m such a prim and properOh no I’ve done a chaos! I meant dogging.has gone all prim.
A university friend of mine used to microwave his pants to dry them. They occasionally caught fire.
Jack's pants must always be on fire, though.
Saved me an awkward conversation with IT about stuff googled in the bar after work
Ohhh is that a thing I always fart on planes. I mean actually I fart everywhere as I am a gaseous being but definitely notice it on planes. Fogging is all that goes on in our bedMy sympathies @Notmycat , can't be easy for you with that condition. I get terrible wind when flying (in a plane, obvs) to the extent where adjacent passengers have literally moved seats to get away from me, the violence of the explosions and the stench literally makes me heave so I don't blame strangers for moving out of harm's way. I only found out recently that I have an actual little known condition, called HAFE (high altitude flatus expulsion), who knew it was an actual thing? I was quite chuffed to find out that it is a recognised ailment
Apparently, flight attendants suffering from HAFE take the opportunity to fart whilst pretending to check passengers seat belts and overhead lockers, thereby avoiding gassing their colleagues in the small cabin crew areas at each end of the plane.
Every day's a school day eh?
Hermiones time twister thingy
Bernard's magic watch
And that sort of thing is why Mrs Everytown and I have separate bedrooms...
Those recipe comments are hilarious!6 hours 48 minutes per day free from work
OT a whole listicle of “Susan, it’s an aubergine recipe”
hoping to find smol pixie on it, but think it’s unlikely
34 Hilariously Dumb Comments People Left On Internet Recipes That Got Called Out By This TikToker
Are we judging anyone who uses mayonnaise instead of heavy cream? Yes. Yes, we are!
But not as hilarious as the fogging/dogging mixup followed by all the farting comments (and new knowledge gained!)! By 'eck, I do love you mithering ninnies, you're all SO funny!
Properly cheered up I am!#jackmonroeisstilladick
You can make grilled cheese sandwiches by wrapping them in tinfoil and ironing the tinfoil package with a hot iron.
If you have long hair, you can get it super-straight by draping it over an ironing board, putting a sheet or towel on top of it, and ironing the sheet or towel. OH&S warning: this works best with someone else doing the ironing, so that you don't end up sticking your neck or ear with the iron.
Roll on, Grifty Kitchen II. Send royalty cashos ASAP.
If you have long hair, you can get it super-straight by draping it over an ironing board, putting a sheet or towel on top of it, and ironing the sheet or towel. OH&S warning: this works best with someone else doing the ironing, so that you don't end up sticking your neck or ear with the iron.
Roll on, Grifty Kitchen II. Send royalty cashos ASAP.
Yep, her Mediterranean arse must be hotter than the sun
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