Jack Monroe #434 The price of jam: Will it be £40 by the end of the year?

[DragonBoy]

Well if that doesn't smoke her out then nothing will.

Maybe the WhatsApp group have been plotting:
Jamie: A’wight, where is she? We need a chaos guys. It’s boring.
James: Butter!
Prue: We need to do something that she won’t be able to resist. How about something about the cost of living?
Fingers K: Are you mad, Chief? That‘s all performative bullshit. She don’t care about the poors really.
James: Yorkshire!
Nigella: I know, tender hearts. How about one of us does something ’tinned’? I could craft something about the joy of a gleaming, polished cylinder, full of promise?
Jamie: Nah, you’re alright sweetheart. She already hates me for being up in her niche so I’ll do it. Right, any ideas?
Gordon: Fuck yeah. Make sure you say something about tinned fucking food not being fucking celebrated enough, to suggest that nobody listens to her. That should fucking do it. Nice

 

[Emlo]

Sorry no idea where this is going to land (and it’s only really “Jack-adjacent”) but I just came home from a 12hr shift to find my boyfriend taking his jeans out of the oven. This morning I told him his freshly washed jeans wouldn’t dry in time for tonight when he wanted to wear them without putting heating on. He refused as we only have electric and he thought it was a waste of money. Of course I was right so he came up with the idea to stick them in the oven after he finished cooking his dinner. Annoyingly it has helped make them wearable. I’m not sure if he’s a genius or an idiot, or if I’m attracted or repulsed. Either way thought Jack might like the tip for Grifty Kitchen Part II.

 

[Foxvint]

View attachment 1767166

Remember that HILARIOUS incident when Jack ate ginger nuts in bed (biscuits, not burger boy) but slept in the nude so got crumbs on her. Good times.

She's 1 of those irritating bints always talking about her tits, her sex life, nudity etc to remind you that she's a sexy sexy woman having all of the sex.

I dont like nude sleeping. Bare arseholes in the bed give me the ick. Even after a good nobbing I leap up like a salmon to put me jarmies back on.

 

[WhyYouCry?]

Good news, Jack must be due her day off right about now. So she can take a break from doing all that… work she’s been doing. Phew, she must be exhausted.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Same. I've had the shits this weekend and have produced A LOT of Jack recipes.

We could probably create a new Bristol stool chart from Jack's insta photos

 

[Geetbo]

I'm still amused by the term "powerful frau" like we're the illuminati rather than people who come together to lol at slop.

 

[Notmycat]

I have had bowel problems for over 40 years. I take daily laxatives to move things through and stop spasms, but I build up a lot of wind so I can either let it out or have intense pain from trapped wind, I eat a solid diet but we won't talk about the other end. No slop involved.

Im, not Jack btw

Spoiler: Me rail

Mr NMC proved himself a keeper, less than 4 weeks into our relationship. I had severe "period pains" or so I thought, I was staying over in his house built beside his parent's home. I should maybe add that I am 10 years older than him so he was awkward early 20s stage, The pain kept increasing, till I was throwing up with the pain, also bleeding and I had no sanitary products with me as I wasnt due on. Around 3am in the morning, as he had spent 2 hours holding my hair back while I was sick, he doesn't have a driver license due to a medical condition so he went to his mum around 3.30 am to ask her for sanitary products (awkward for a 23-year-old in general) and if she had any stronger painkillers, she came to his bathroom where I was in agony on the floor, this was my first time meeting her, I was totally grey, she bundled me up and into the car, to the nearest hospital. I had a large cyst on my ovary which needed to be operated on, Farting is nothing between us.

 

[hooplifehero]

Oh shit! What is she goes huge in Asia as a novelty act! Like those crazy Japanese challenges TV game shows

 

[Mr Krabs]

I was thinking this too. I read a tweet from a squig asking how the move went a couple of days ago. I bet she's itching to live tweet the chaos.

We already know what the post is going to be.

*Mirror selfie of Jack dressed like a teenage boy but with tits or midriff or fanny on display*

We made it. 56,000 boxes, 27,000 cups of tea, six freight lorries and many hours and myself and SB reach our new home. This will be the one that I paint and love and everything will be the best but also I am very poor so don’t stop the cashos rolling in. Not slept for a week and my neck, shoulder, brain and crumbly teeth are sending sharp pains through my sternum. But I bravely face this cacophony of challenges, despite the onomatopoeic nature of my defenestration… (continues for 50,000 words).

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

OT but did anyone see fellow Twitter nause mollie goodfellow's tweet about MR last night? reminds me of the condescending way jack wrote about him, so uncomfortable

View attachment 1771748

He's 25, an adult. Referring to an adult black man as "boy" is really problematic (it was how slave owners would refer to the men they enslaved, as part of dehumanising them).

 

[BubbleDuck]

just thinking, while jack's quiet and given the popularity of the the slopalong, is anyone up for amanda's proposition?

obviously, many items in the list won't happen due to being too obscure or vague, or particular to jack, but...

i think doing a drawing or making a list or potentially doing a fake blog post is doable for many of us, is it not?

ill start, im taking "bollocking rishi sunak"

take your picks

Spoiler: Jack's Coming Soons

£15 a week lunches
£20 shops as a whole
3 recipes per week in 2022
9 half-written manuscripts
15 minute meals
35 recipes from a £20 shop, pick your fave
2000 words for print glossy GQ awards
a few announcements
adding to twitter thread of plants as they bloom
advent calendar
aged chicken thigh bone stock
alcohol free versions of recipes
another walk in a restricted mod area
apple and pear crumble with brown sugar
austerity book
base system going in next book
BBC show guest on dr rupy's iplayer show
best value vegetables for squig
big press photo shoots
big work
black bean brownies recipe
black bean recipes from poll
black pudding pastitsio
BLM video monetization donation
blog a simple recipe
blog about energy companies' profits and nationalising stuff
blog of heatwave foods
blog post excited about for ages
bollocking rishi sunak
book on culinary history
book signing in Belfast
books for slow cooker appeal

books for the rural coffee caravan confirmed never arrived 17.2.22 by rcc twitter

Brand New System for desk - wallpaper
bright blue think tank updates
brioche balls
brioche, mincemeat and camembert wreath
broccoli, creamy cannellini beans and fish
broccoli breakfast pasta
budget shopping article
Camp Kitchen from the shed
cannelini bacon and pork belly pie
carrot cake baked oats
chestnut fudge thing
chicken livers
chicken nuggets with black pudding crumb
chocolate and prune oats
Christmas condiment
Christmas leftovers caesar salad - nov 2022
cinnamon granola recipe
coconut oil etc mouthwash quantities
coffee scrub
column for the Breakdown
comic filter security
comparison of 2021 £20 shop to 2022 £20 shop
compiling list of independent food banks
Conditions of Bungalow Bubbling lessons
cooking for one book
cost of living crisis recipes in one category
crispy fish recipe
curating regular book recommendations
David Walliams book reviews
dauphinoise pie
dealing with paying taxes
deep pinky purple mascarpone ice cream
denim shirt embroidery commissions
depressipes
detailed blog on nutrition
devilled eggs recipe - completed it, mate
diabetic recipes
dig out microwave and kettle recipes
DM to Yel
drawing nigella's garden
dyeing all clothes black
easy care for cutlery
email household management book to agent
ethical on a budget
explain daily usage of pythagoras theorem something to do with rishi sunak
festive pop tarts
festive vegan loaf peeling pie
filing accounts
flannel blog
flapjack recipe
folding fitted sheets in seconds
food truck of joy
fulfilling all patreon commitments 2022 edition
gailymail
giant caramelised banana and chocolate pancake
goat kleftiko
gold rush xmas presents
great resources by trans + non binary writers
greek cook book
greens, eggs and ham
half-written budget xmas recipes
handing over her platform to poc
haybox and thermos cooking
healthy on a bootstrap
hecking big decluttering
helping disability and mental health writers
history of York road market
homemade hand sanitiser
homemade cleaning items
homemade dog biscuits
huge depop or Ebay sale
human dreamies
hummus price increase reason
hybrid cassoulet
ideas for pumpkin flesh
inbox zero by bedtime every day
intermittent fasting anger essay
jackfruit version of something
James Bond conspiracy theory
jubilee trifle recipes
kidney bean, black bean and coconut soup
Klingon gagh recipe
knit blanket
kolokythokeftedes recipe
kombucha whisky
leftover cranberry sauce recipe
lemon curd and mixed berry porridge
lever arch files of fan mail
life hacks book
line by line spring budget takedown
links to small businesses
list of slow cooker recipes
lockdown larder 2.0 resumption threatened
lockdown list of services
make turnips not taste like turnips
maple syrup story
mashed potato secret
meal planners on website
militant boiled eggs
mince pie doughnuts
mincemeat recipe
mole
monopoly for charity with martin lewis
more cabbage
more to say on british social attitudes
moving house
mushroom drying completed 2018
mushroom butter
New Thing
newspaper campaign the fucking express
no- and low-fuel cooking (kinda) the bromelain in canned pineapple is denatured
no waste cook book (on twitter for world earth day)
nutrition degree
onion chopping song
open the space squig box
Other Plans for cabbage
ouchy mouth recipes
painstakingly costed menu for week under £20
pastry recipe
patreon update
peasants pudding recipe
picture of tree postcards
pistachio milk
pointing out real plants
pork and lentil bolognese
postcards, postcards, postcards
poverty memoir
puttanesca soup
quick pickling
radish recipes
recipe roundup on Instagram
recipes for small people
red ephemera soup recipe
redoing dinner to get better light
report for work and pensions committee
repotting spider plants from a friend
reshooting beach pottery in daylight
rooting out Amazon from website

running around in heels with a Tall Man GQ awards 2020. no evidence of running or dancing, but Marcus is tall. she didn't even personally hand him the award.

running order for xmas dinner
salt and vinegar sardines and spaghetti
sardine tin print
sausage and kale slop
Secret Ingredient - possibly banana skin
secret stock ingredient potato water
selling books on website again
send squig mandarin carrot recipe
sending maple syrup tin to fan
serious work
serving libel papers to fox/daubney/anderson
set up mastodon
setting her teenage musings to music
sexy kitchen makeover reason
shopping trolley viewed Sept 2021, unclear if gift
sideboard photos reason
sleep hygiene routine
slow cooker bubble bath
slow cooker recipes, maybe for depher
slow cooker xmas dinner - before xmas 2021
some kind of timetable for SB in lockdown
something about how money buys time
something else Jack'll remember sometime
soup for bed recipe
spite recipe
split peas and cooking bacon
squigs pick eyeshadow looks
super secret shopping trip hack
supper nanny
support cabal for bullied media types
swamp thing
sweet and sour soup
sweet potato caramel
t shirts with offensive slogan actually done within 3 hours 1.2.22
t shirt profits to trussell trust updates
teemill profits
thread about moving house
thrifty shades of beige
Thursday thunder clap
tiktok
tin juice cordial recipe
tomato soup water content - done
train video for squig
transcribing and blogging non binary talk
transcribing government bollocking
translation of a Greek Cypriot cookbook
unorthodox cheese sauce - done
unorthodox courgette squishing
Up To Something
uses for juice from del monte tins
various cornflakes chicken recipes
vegan char sui buns
vegan cheese list

vegan crackling deep-fried rice paper apparently, admitted April 2022. this was among the original items on this list, first posited in late 2019, preceding these threads

vegan diabetic creme egg (maybe)
vegan haggis
vegan pastitsio in collab with Linda
vegan paella with artichokes
vegan pie glaze
vegan version of upside down pineapple chicken
Vimes Boots Price Index - due mid February 2022
visit Poland
weekly routine
write about diva pdf experience
write about sobriety
writing a thing about tories and 30p meals
zero waste curry falafels

/SPOILER]

I shall do a Jack and resubmit my work from thread 343 for draw Nigella’s garden

 

[Feck]

Chapeau!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Seriously, that pic of her is SO BAD. It looks like it came from a decades old contacts magazine of the type that that bigger boys used to find in dumped in bushes or down by the river when I was growing up.

Yes, it's very 'Reader's Wives : Christmas Edition'.

 

[jenny2603]

Remember that HILARIOUS incident when Jack ate ginger nuts in bed (biscuits, not burger boy) but slept in the nude so got crumbs on her. Good times.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Still catching up but having seen the chores list, I agree with the rest of the canal regarding it's cruelty and humiliation. It is mostly definitely performative in terms of the 'system' she has created, she loves a hand written system. She is all about procrastination instead of actual work. She is also exhibiting her power over her son with the nasty comments. I think she probably thought they were funny comments in a 'kids, who'd have em' sort of way. But it also displays how unusual she finds normal messes (including toilet messes, especially in an autistic child) and this further reveals that she is not a very involved parent.

I will add that having had a narc parent, I can see many similarities to Jack. It's disturbing and triggering at times. My siblings and I were expected to do a lot of housework and if it wasn't done by a certain time, there would be trouble. As an adult, mess stresses me and I still have an anxiety about it because of that. I know that is not normal and my experience has shown me how not to parent. I never ever make my children work like that. My eldest two do some chores within their capabilities for pocket money. My youngest is fully disabled and not capable of anything like that. Toys on the floor is such a normal part of childhood or it should be. As for following SB, I could believe that too because we were followed, had our mail opened and read and phone calls listened in on via the extension. There was more surveillance and control than that. We were forever regulating our behavior and masking, acting the way we were expected to. It's impossible to relax but also impossible to hide from people outside the home. I have no doubt Jack behaves in a similar way based on her comments. And someone will have acted, be it a teacher or a family member. She moans about CPS a lot, it's projection, my narc did the same. There is no doubt she has restricted and supervised access. We only see what Jack shares (because she can't help herself), unfortunately I think things are a lot messier behind the scenes, underneath her public persona. This is partly why she has to control the narrative, a narc's reputation is very important to them and they want everyone to believe they are the best, funniest, most loving etc etc.

 

[jenny2603]

The first time I saw Jack on TV was when she was explaining to someone that she put yogurt into a pot of salmon paste, used it as a sauce for pasta and it tasted quite nice. I thought - stretching basic ingredients and getting on TV to talk about it, fair do's. I then thought she had a repertoire of good cheap cookery. It was not until I found here and started to follow Jack in her posting god awful yellow sticker concoctions phase, that I realised that not only was she unpleasant to people, she also produced awful food. It took such a long time for people to see this. Tin Can Cook was such a shit book. I hope word gets out that it seems she is about to try the same promotional technique with Thrifty Kitchen. I would hate to see amounts of money raised by her supporters that could be going towards food being spent on this book. I don't think it is harmless for the Trussell Trust to accept books bought with money raised in this way.

Yes, I think we sometimes overestimate how much attention people pay to Jack. I followed her on Twitter but muted her years ago, well before these threads started. The reason I muted her was that she kept tweeting pictures of her bedside table with a full bottle of spirits on it and commenting that it was to help her sleep. I kept thinking it was weird and performative, as problem drinkers tend to be secretive about their true level of alcohol consumption, then I'd feel guilty for doubting her. It was after she kicked off about THAT MAN and then David Walliams that I started digging deeper. I had been paying so little attention that I was surprised her and Leggy were no longer an item, I'd completely missed the Kickstarter stuff and God knows how many other chaoses in the years that had passed. I was similarly surprised to learn just how bad her recipes were because other than the peach curry, I hadn't really paid any attention. If anyone had asked me about Jack prior to early 2020 I'd have just described her as a food writer and campaigner and mentioned the Hopkins win but that would have been about it. Even when I first started reading these threads there were comments I thought were a bit OTT when I first read them, until I started to see what she was like for myself. That's in part why, I get irritated with people on Twitter going full spoooons on Twitter at some hapless squig who probably just thinks Jack is a good thing because they've never really look into it.

I had a fair bit of sympathy for the Trussell Trust over the £11,000 donation. It was a tough call to make and if it had been my call I'd probably have taken the money but made it clear to Jack that it was the last time. In teaming up with her for the book and agreeing to distribute books to people who can ill afford to waste food, I think they're actively causing harm and enabling further grifting. I will continue to put tins in the collection point at the supermarket as they're the only foodbank in the immediately local area but I SHAN'T ever give them money.

 

[Mr Krabs]

I think a big part of HH2 was to piss us off which makes it even funnier. She really should have taken the earliest threads as a warning, instead she blew up her own grift out of SPITE. Toot toot!

Her narcissism is so severe I think she honestly thinks she can turn us all to her side. As long as she follows the steps, making herself pitiable, hinting at harming herself, piling on the lies. She seems to think that one day we’ll all change our minds collectively if she writes emotively enough. That’s why she always has a tantrum when it doesn’t work. And it won’t. Squigs can become fraus, but I have never seen a Frau become a squig.

The best thing about HH2: Hungrier Hurtier is that she knocked it out quickly very soon after we mentioned it was the ten year anniversary of HH1. She’d obviously been on a grunk and a lightbulb went off that she could use the anniversary as an angle. You’re welcome, Jack.

 

[Lazarus]

We already know what the post is going to be.

*Mirror selfie of Jack dressed like a teenage boy but with tits or midriff or fanny on display*

We made it. 56,000 boxes, 27,000 cups of tea, six freight lorries and many hours and myself and SB reach our new home. This will be the one that I paint and love and everything will be the best but also I am very poor so don’t stop the cashos rolling in. Not slept for a week and my neck, shoulder, brain and crumbly teeth are sending sharp pains through my sternum. But I bravely face this cacophony of challenges, despite the onomatopoeic nature of my defenestration… (continues for 50,000 words).

Two weeks later:

* I’m looking for some gentle legal advice from you lovely lot in the comments club.
After decades of living in insecure housing and living through the most bone crushing poverty, I finally achieved what I always wanted - a forever home for me and SB.
As you know I have many, MANY dear friends and acquaintances, most of whom would give their lives for me, such as the lovely friend who owns the painting and decorating shop and the ones who leave soup on the doorstep. Someone somewhere must have a pretty damn strong grudge against me, because since moving in, I’ve discovered the whole house NEEDS REDECORATION AND REWIRING. Despite viewing the property 6 times to make sure my mustard coloured lockers would fit in the lounge-come bedroom, I was blindsided due to bad mentals and therefore did not notice the state of disrepair the precious forever home shit heap was in.
As I paid cash on a sold as seen contract, I have found myself with no recourse to complain. Do they want me to LITERALLY STOP BREATHING? How on earth am I supposed to find the money for this?
The trolls have lost me my livelihood, I now will have to go back to sofa surfing and poor SB’s marbles I’d bought him for Christmas will have to be pawned.
the tip jar is here if you want to recognise the work I do, but otherwise happy to hear from any lawyers amongst you lovely lot.
send doggos cash *

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Looks like she's found a way to hook a wealthy New Harold.

 

[kachoochoo]

apropos of nothing, mr kcc has been searching mudlarking/thames finds on ebay. he's found some old locks and "the gaslight and coke company" here made me think of someone