Jack Monroe #434 The price of jam: Will it be £40 by the end of the year?

[traumatised sideboard]

Thread title nominated by @Shimmering your prize is cleaning my door handles.

Recap: Jack broke her previous record of not tweeting.

For newbies the wiki is the pink button up top. When nominating a thread title use the words 'thread title' and NO FLIPPING SWEARING.

 

[zetta buttons]

Jack breaking her no tweeting record.

(this wasn’t the Kendall gif I was after but I don’t care because a) I love Kendall and b) I love Kendall)

 

[Serafina Pekkala]

Dear Ninnies,
Just to let you all know that 'Roast Potatoes' is trending on Twitter!

And as the the SmolPixie can't/isn't/SHANT tweet, I'm assuming they're not dire! mwhaahaaaa!

Also, our unfriendly SlopGoblin's Twitter account is reactivated but all the cringing tweets from the last flounce remain, so has she got access to it?...
Surely a Chaos is incoming...

 

[Clovis]

It's such an unusual promotional campaign, keeping the author quiet. I wonder how long the silent strop will last. Will this new book of delicious, thoroughly tested recipes be published with not a peep from Jack?

Go well, dear tenderstems.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Looks like she's found a way to hook a wealthy New Harold.

 

[KebabGirl]

We are currently equal to the 164 hours if including the replies. 188 hours since last week.
We are in unprecedented times! What snack choice will bring her out of this hiatus?

 

[Notmycat]

@Justacatindisguise for diy weedkiller. I buy a 5 litre of white vinegar for about £7 from Amazon. Table salt and any washing up liquids, reapply after a week for any remaining roots. Just mixed will do, not blended.

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

 

[WTFDidIJustSee]

Spoiler: “me rail”

Perhaps my teens do more than average, but I’m a one parent house hold, with disabilities, I work/study full time and have a commute that takes around 2.5-3 hours per day. The chores are by no means done every day (we’re all ND, 7YO may be the only one of us that isn’t), we do live in a fair bit of WHERES MY KEYS (thank duck for Tiles) type chaos, and it’s far from a show home as I frankly can’t be fucked to spend my precious down time scrubbing/tidying.

But their friends comment on how it’s “got, like, warm vibes and you’re so chill” (I am anything but chill under the surface) which I think means I’m happy to sit knitting with cartoons on whilst 7YO has LEGO everywhere (floor is a regular death trap for it), teens are throwing sausages and hash browns in the oven for breakfast, there’s a Mount Doom of laundry to put away, rather than following the teens around the kitchen putting stuff away after they’ve used it/frantically throwing LEGO in the boxes whilst it’s still being played with etc.

I just cant be arsed. Between ADHD, post viral fatigue and the side effects of my CPTSD meds, I cannot.

Someone I know has 3 teens and a very smol child. She doesn’t lift a finger to cook or clean, only does bath/bed with the very smol child once per week, because the teens are all scheduled to do all of it.

She works very part time from home and is often found in the shed, crafting whatever she’s trying that week.

I didn’t realise how bad it is was (in terms of it being ran like a house share with 4 adults where one of them does duck all) until I spent a week there when I visited having not seen her for years.

I’ve had very little contact with her since then, I found it really upsetting. It was truly bizarre watching 3 teenagers tag team a toddler as if they were the parents.

Jacks list for SB gave me a migraine. I can’t imagine how much time it would take to police an 8YO doing all that. Quicker to do it yourself, no?

 

[MoistenedGussets]

We are currently equal to the 164 hours if including the replies. 188 hours since last week.
We are in unprecedented times! What snack choice will bring her out of this hiatus?

Some Christmas slop.. December is near.

"JACK Monroe's Christmsas Pud"
2 cups of sultans.. or raisins.
1/2 a nectarine or orange
A healthy handful of prunes or plums
100kg of sawdust or cat litter
1 Sainsbos Christmas pud, rinsed.

Put in slow cooker for 20 years.
Serve with an empty bucket, a takeaway menu and crappy Nokia mobile phone.

2.5p per portion, serves 15 small badgers or 1 healthy aardvark... Who won't be healthy after eating such shite.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

The weird Korean(?) bots are now linking to her website.

 

[zetta buttons]

I have a flame thrower blow torch thing for weeds. I cannot be too careful with tunnel dog and there are too many cats around to use weed killer. Obviously wouldn’t give the torch thing to kids.

(glyphosate is not nice to animals)

 

[sleepingsatellite]

It's such an unusual promotional campaign, keeping the author quiet. I wonder how long the silent strop will last. Will this new book of delicious, thoroughly tested recipes be published with not a peep from Jack?
View attachment 1764500
Go well, dear tenderstems.

Seeing the odd squig sharing that they’re getting blocked though, so she’s clearly there in er, spirit?

 

[RamblerOfLandandMouth]

I have a flame thrower blow torch thing for weeds. I cannot be too careful with tunnel dog and there are too many cats around to use weed killer. Obviously wouldn’t give the torch thing to kids.

(glyphosate is not nice to animals)

I had one of these.. moved into a new place, burnt weeds on gravel...set fire to entire weed mat that I didn't realise was underneath....do not recommend.

Edit: to be fair , I say set fire but not wanting to be guilty of a "Jackanory" the corner actually caught and burnt well...the rest softly, gently smouldered under the gravel, sending up random delicate wifts of smoke in places...it was beautiful

 

[House of Carbonara]

@Justacatindisguise for diy weedkiller. I buy a 5 litre of white vinegar for about £7 from Amazon. Table salt and any washing up liquids, reapply after a week for any remaining roots. Just mixed will do, not blended.

Thank you so much for this, darling dear ! I am on a never-ending battle with the bastard weeds, especially on the paving and around the bird feeders on gravel (because the little people are *choosy* you know? They discard as much as they eat). And we have cats and visiting hedgehogs. I will totally try this.

 

[Country Bumpkin]

Seeing the odd squig sharing that they’re getting blocked though, so she’s clearly there in er, spirit?

Of course she's there. She can't stop herself. She has to see what others are saying about her. It's the narc in her. Honestly, I'm here for all you fraus because you make me laugh. I just find Jackie boring tbh.

 

[colouredlines]

The weird Korean(?) bots are now linking to her website.

View attachment 1764529

That's not a bot, it's a real account laughing about peach curry.

 

[RamblerOfLandandMouth]

The weird Korean(?) bots are now linking to her website.

View attachment 1764529

Mr Rambler made a delicious prawn curry tonight...glad to report there was not a tinned peach in sight

 

[Foxvint]

There'll be a cynical bullies-nearly-broke-me publicity campaign soon. Schrödinger's Jack- where she's simultaneously a feisty tough bird who's survived it all an a delicate daisy who can be trampled underfoot if someone asks why her defunct Patreon is still clawing it in.

 

[kachoochoo]

apropos of nothing, mr kcc has been searching mudlarking/thames finds on ebay. he's found some old locks and "the gaslight and coke company" here made me think of someone