Jack Monroe #434 The price of jam: Will it be £40 by the end of the year?

[Marmalade Atkins]

We haven't seen figures like this since 2020.

The -2,333 must be the followers who jumped ship while she was deactivated - so Sunday to Thursday combined (note the gap between dates).

She gains them back easily enough, though, so

ETA: these numbers will include accounts Jack has blocked.

 

[Snotbuster]

I'm not Jack. I've never locked an animal in an airing cupboard and fucked off on holiday. Or in a garage. Or a bathroom.

Tell a lie, I did once. The twatcat brought home a stray Hamster that we rescued (me banging my head on the underside of the kitchen table whilst in hot pursuit of the bastard feline and his trophy) and then had to create a makeshift Hamster Oz from a plastic tub and three shelves from the plastic greenhouse on top before shutting him/her in the downstairs bathroom overnight so nothing else unpleasant happened to it whilst we sourced a big cage, toys, bedding and food through an appeal on Facebook. That hamster spent the rest of its life scowling at DP playing my bass in the studio. Arsey little tit even bit him once., the ingrate.


DP got all teary when Lars (yes, we named it) finally carked it in comfortable old age.

But we didn't go on holiday.

Locked an animal in an airing cupboard? I know about her kitten cruelty and bored, unkempt Content along with the missing bunnies and guinea pigs. Which one did she stuff in a cupboard, room, garage and then LEAVE?

I could make hers instead and yes of course it had those fart sausages in it
View attachment 1768459
I still have those Bollock sausages in the freezer from the sausange maybe I’ll bung them in (I won’t, I don’t hate myself enough)

That is just very unappetizing. So very unappetizing.

 

[Sack Monroe]

Locked an animal in an airing cupboard? I know about her kitten cruelty and bored, unkempt Content along with the missing bunnies and guinea pigs. Which one did she stuff in a cupboard, room, garage and then LEAVE?


That is just very unappetizing. So very unappetizing.

It does seem to miss the point of a stroganoff which is the richness of the flavours and textures.

ETA and with the sour cream, you don't want fatty sausages

 

[House of Carbonara]

I love having a root around the other forums. So many people I’ve never heard of, who I’ve since learned are total twats

IKR? Had a look on the thread for the influencer who booked herself at the Savoy because her heating died - dear Lord, ninnies! We are *nice*, I promise you! Also, the world is full of SM morons.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

It's ok dear heart, those Smart Price sausages aren't fatty, water is the second ingredient. They're like a meaty version of those water tube toy things.

 

[AlwightDallin]

I ate 4 vegetarian sage and onion flavour sausages last night with potatoes and sprouts. Shovelled them down my gullet like a greedy goblin.

These sound marvellous, can I ask who’s your sausage dealer

I eat 4 sausages at a sitting too, I am very tall and I think the food distributes out I do love my hubbys chickpea curry but when I asked if he’d ever put peaches in it he got confused. In the meal, he asked, as a dessert? No dearheart, I replied, in the curry. Are you mad? Was his reply. Shan’t be getting HIM tin can cook for Christmas.

 

[threetintender]

IKR? Had a look on the thread for the influencer who booked herself at the Savoy because her heating died - dear Lord, ninnies! We are *nice*, I promise you! Also, the world is full of SM morons.

I’ve been hoking about in some other threads….some are absolutely brutal! So I come back here. In other threads I have never seen references to a Borgia pope, Beowulf or Mapp and Lucia. I have found my people. Like many others, JM is mostly boring the tits off me but I’m invested in the canal. My tender ones xxx

 

[houseofhoop]

These sound marvellous, can I ask who’s your sausage dealer

I eat 4 sausages at a sitting too, I am very tall and I think the food distributes out I do love my hubbys chickpea curry but when I asked if he’d ever put peaches in it he got confused. In the meal, he asked, as a dessert? No dearheart, I replied, in the curry. Are you mad? Was his reply. Shan’t be getting HIM tin can cook for Christmas.

I also would like to know your sausage dealer…

 

[drusy]

Watching prisoners eat the peach curry could be a new low cost version of restorative justice. A slightly more humane version of capital punishment.

I think you're on to something dear heart - it could slash possibility of re-offending.

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

I think you're on to something dear heart - it could slash possibility of re-offending.

'Behave or we will feed you to....

THE PUMBLE!'

 

[Emmapism]

I enjoy seeing you all out in the wild in other threads. It's like seeing someone you know in a pub near you. Odd but strangely comforting

 

[Mr Krabs]

It's ok dear heart, those Smart Price sausages aren't fatty, water is the second ingredient. They're like a meaty version of those water tube toy things.

View attachment 1769539

Dear heart, if you’re going to post Stephen Bear’s knob, a spoiler please.

 

[DragonBoy]

These sound marvellous, can I ask who’s your sausage dealer

I eat 4 sausages at a sitting too, I am very tall and I think the food distributes out I do love my hubbys chickpea curry but when I asked if he’d ever put peaches in it he got confused. In the meal, he asked, as a dessert? No dearheart, I replied, in the curry. Are you mad? Was his reply. Shan’t be getting HIM tin can cook for Christmas.

Thread title nomination for “Who’s your sausage dealer?”

 

[Feck]

Is it possible that she is so quiet because she is moving house?

Softly carrying all her possessions box by box in the famed backpack to her new tiny little smol flat?

I think November is lease up on the bungalow of tit time?

I was thinking this too. I read a tweet from a squig asking how the move went a couple of days ago. I bet she's itching to live tweet the chaos.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

'Behave or we will feed you to....

THE PUMBLE!'

“Behave or we will feed you the pumble” would be bad enough

 

[HotesTilaire]

Dear heart, if you’re going to post Stephen Bear’s knob, a spoiler please.

I can’t look at @Nottonightbabe in the same way, I feel like I’ve see Jimmy out fogging or something. Addicted to the 8earzy drama though. Court next week!

 

[Nurseali]

I once posted on the strictly thread. Never again.
They practically foxtrotted on my head.

 

[Lauradianalou]

My 8 and 7 year old daughters have 2 sausages each for a meal. My 3 year old only eats coco pops so not worth considering when I cook . But if I was to make a sausage based dish for me and my 2 girls I’d probably put 8 sausages in.
And those bollock sausages must be fairly nutrient free anyway.
And as an aside, the thought of coconut milk in stroganoff makes me want to vom

I keep seeing the phrase bollock sausages....daft question, but does it mean really cheap sausages?

 

[Hollaaa]

I keep seeing the phrase bollock sausages....daft question, but does it mean really cheap sausages?

Yes. My gran used to call them bumhole and eyelid sausages.

 

[Mr Krabs]

I was thinking this too. I read a tweet from a squig asking how the move went a couple of days ago. I bet she's itching to live tweet the chaos.

We already know what the post is going to be.

*Mirror selfie of Jack dressed like a teenage boy but with tits or midriff or fanny on display*

We made it. 56,000 boxes, 27,000 cups of tea, six freight lorries and many hours and myself and SB reach our new home. This will be the one that I paint and love and everything will be the best but also I am very poor so don’t stop the cashos rolling in. Not slept for a week and my neck, shoulder, brain and crumbly teeth are sending sharp pains through my sternum. But I bravely face this cacophony of challenges, despite the onomatopoeic nature of my defenestration… (continues for 50,000 words).