Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[Foxvint]

It’s amazing how many groups of people in social settings are just kicking around waiting to take her down a peg or two. Perhaps they’re all related to the EVIL School Governor who HATED reading from when she was 7.

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'I imagined'. Yes exactly

Snap @Fitnessqueen

 

[Malkiavelli]

If I caught my brother telling mental lies about me or the rest of the family he'd never hear the end of it. There would be slaggings.

Yea but I’m guessing that when the sibling in question is such a pathological liar, after say, the 1000th time of calling her out, there comes a point where you just can’t be arsed anymore …

 

[House of Carbonara]

To this day I've not managed to break the 30 second barrier on this video

Sorry, ninnies, can't click on that. Have just eaten.

 

[Hollaaa]

nooo, not Andi Oliver

I'm sure I've seen Andi Oliver giving it the old thanks for all you do on the haunted bird app.
<Paging Elon>.

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Did Jack get the £297 from the marathon? Or do you lose everything if you don't hit target? It would have nicely funded the donation to foodbank after Trussell.

The money goes straight to the charity and never touches the fundraiser's bank account (source: I've done a fair few fundraising events using JustGiving and various other online sponsorship sites).

Depending on the event you usually have an entry fee to pay out of your own pocket, then a minimum amount to fundraise. If you pull out before the event starts, none of it is refundable, although you may be able to transfer your entry to another person or a different event.

 

[Snotbuster]

Crossover time!

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Two of the Four Horsepeople of the Mediocrapalypse.

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

Why, that's Eighties Mum In TV Ad For Frozen Chips Jack, of course ! I'd recognise that blow-dry anywhere.

Next will be the Shake n Vac (put the freshness back) Jack. That was a helmet hairstyle!

 

[hoopdedoo]

I once worked in a pretty spenny deli and left some cling film on a piece of cheese (a v.posh one) and the customer complained as it added 1p to the price. She tried to joke it was ‘the principle’ but Jack reminds me of her so much. Pair of middle class twats

"Penny wise and pound foolish" right there.

 

[Hold my beans]

Why did you post that picture?

I’m going to be thinking about that drawer for hours now.

It's not the cock drawer I hope?

 

[Charitas]

Vlad knows and is trying to help a smol pixie

 

[MaineCoonMama]

How long by train from Southend to Wales, approximately?

 

[Hold my beans]

Well, she's still on the CHC programme for tomorrow morning but will she make it?...

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

My skills are not up to scratch. I have no idea how you’re finding the Caroline who isn’t Caroline who does and doesn’t have hands. Humph.

I can't either, dear heart! Sob sob.

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Also, not sure if she has added this as a result of the thread, but she has Caroline in her name now. I thought it was a parody at first.

I think it was via a search for the company she used to work for when she had hands. (Delete if not allowed, mods)

 

[Everytown]

I walked round on a broken leg for six weeks (long story, undiagnosed stress fracture, walking on a broken leg hurts a lot, 0/10 do not recommend), I worked from home for one day. Pffffft.

I once broke a couple of ribs in very unusual circumstances [ ] on a Saturday night, and didn't got to A&E until the following Tuesday. Never missed a day of work at work.

 

[hooplifehero]

Is that someone else's body or photoshop?? If its photoshop I need to learn these skills so I can stop going to the gym.

I thought the opposite - if you're going to use dodge and burn to lighten and darken parts of a photo, surely the idea isn't to make your tummy bulges look more prominent.

No shaming, few of us have figures like a shop window dummy, but I'm not trying to thirst-trap my own tummy.

 

[Yer_wha?!]

Yes but don’t be misled by “betting” in the description. If done correctly then it’s not a gamble as you’re placing bets that cover all possible outcomes - you’re structuring a return of the “free bet” amount which is guaranteed by mathematical logic regardless of the result of the fixture or race that you’re betting on. So it’s not “beating the bookies” in the sense of an Arthur Daley character giving you a nudge-nudge wink wink tip of the winner of the 2:30 at Ascot.

It was prefaced with a number of warnings not to get sidetracked into normal gambling etc.

Sorry- off topic, don't know how to hide this stuff yet!
You'll never "beat the bookies"- I worked for one.
If they see a bet is possibly going to come in and cost them a bit, it's laid off with *another* bookie- to cover/mitigate any possible pay outs. Worst case scenario, the bookie just loses that stake.
Small wins- they're just taking other small punters losing money out of the till

 

[Hold my beans]

Haunted bird app message from the agency that represents Jack. If the pov cosplaying dries up as a source of income, perhaps they could use their connections to get her a role on this show? "You've got to pick a Patreon or two..."

I can just see her as the Artful Dodger, accent and all

 

[BurgerLaBill]

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WE'LL BE TOGETHER FOREVER, HAROLD.

Fucking hell, it's Fatal Attraction Jack.

 

[Sketchy]

Missed the whole chaos of the other night and what made the huffy madam deactivate her account - for the umteenth time - but just wanted to gently sidle up to @Bugger13 & @Ooointitot to congratulate them on the hilarious thread title - brilliant!