Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[SarcasticEllis]

She bottled it/they canned her. CHC posted an updated schedule this morning.

https://sites.google.com/chcymru.org.uk/annualconference2022

that looks like a far more relevant agenda - I can see the attraction of having a ‘big UK name’ but that only applies to people who actively work to understand the issues affecting the part of the country in question.

 

[Lazarus]

Babe, same x

FoI?
Edited as I can see she’s no longer on the agenda. Could a FoI request help people to understand why she was no longer on the panel?

 

[Russian Doll]

View attachment 1751549
View attachment 1751551

I am sitting here open mouthed and want to type summat of worth but all I have is a frig ton of swears and "babe sames" So I'm settling for emojiing the bejesus out of youse.

 

[NellieBoo]

Lads, I'm sorry for all the serious rants. I've had a mediocre bath where my £6 CBD bomb was less than effervescent. I haven't even had a sniff of my vino collapso nor watched that video yet. So, do I watch it or will I go full 'littleredfellaangrypixargif' ?

Don't let her upset you. She's an arsehole. I'd watch the video. It's hilariously bad.

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

THIS!!!! Even though we’ve read similar from her, the first couple of lines of her reply are ABSOLUTELY FUCKING STAGGERING
View attachment 1751351View attachment 1751352
Also quoted from her article “I don’t really talk about the Christmas Day”. Except you do, Jack. Incessantly. Mostly for paid articles monetizing your fake pov.

Thank you! I knew I hadn't imagined it!
I thought she had said something similar in one of her archive blog posts, but now of course I can't find the stupid entry. Something along the lines of she didn't have a child just to let someone else look after him. Which surprised me at the time because it was a very different take on the departure from the fire service saga.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

The chicken looks dire.

I think the most they can muster for the salmon pasta is “you can taste salmon flavour”

Yum

 

[Yer_wha?!]

Spoiler: On topic but will probably annoy mods

I’ve noticed that Molly and some of the regular squigs have been sending money to and promoting the woman who published the DMs with Jack and has posted a GoFundMe with the horrifying picture of her (alleged) husband’s gammy leg. I haven’t read her page but surely this is just the same shit but on a different scale? Write with great emotion about a shitty situation and watch the pounds roll in. Kudos to the people giving sensible advice and signposting services to this lady but how on earth does giving money to this unvetted, total stranger on the internet differ from how Jack started out?

A while back Molly also posted a fundraiser for some follower to bring a fucking stray cat back from abroad and I raised my eyebrows tbh because this is a person who already talks about her precarious financial situation/has an Amazon wishlist etc so why get a frigging cat? I wrote it off as a cat lover (Molly) being soft but now it’s happened twice - what is the point of writing about grifting and then amplifying lower level grift?! Giving on an individual basis does NOTHING. Find a charity or org which directly addresses these problems on a structural basis or you’re as bad as all the centrist twats funding Russ Jones and Supertanskii and Jack.

There’s a Russian doll effect with these internet beggars. There’s always someone waiting to take the place. I don’t know if any of you remember that “Hope Shiloh” who’s the one who coined in £5k from her “I can’t make my £20 budget stretch” tweet then deactivated, but there was some woman in the replies who’s also a prolific internet beggar saying “I only ask for it when I really need it”, and people replying sympathetically. Er, how about fuck off, because you’re exactly the same?

Honestly, I’m fuming that Molly is either thick enough, or a grifter-in-waiting herself, to be using all of the material Tattle has spent years archiving to then perpetuate this fucked up dynamic of “boo hoo give me some money and fuck anyone who doesn’t have the same grasp of emotive English or access to the internet to groom a sympathetic following all day because I matter more”.

Fuck it all. Fury.

Couldn't agree with you more, I'm glad you have said this!

 

[Mrsoverall]

Poisonous spiders, sea wasps, blue bottles, box jellyfish etc

SEA WASPS???

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

He also 1. Wears hats like hers and they used to have fun counting them
View attachment 1750114View attachment 1750115

2. Has mugs and crockery like hers which means they’re “as good as married”
View attachment 1749998
3. Has to stay with her til next spring cos she put him in her new book acknowledgements, which he “took quite well”
View attachment 1750014View attachment 1750015

Spoiler: blurstoftimes glorious Harold post

View attachment 1750024

4. Dumped her stupid ass 3 weeks after she posted 3. above in “a bolt from the blue after a lovely weekend away”. No idea what went wrong. Such a curve ball!
View attachment 1750017
Oh PS he also has parents that she made

Spoiler: THIS FOR

View attachment 1750131

(thanks to @Marmalade Atkins @Boyo @blurstoftimes and @Sideboard Bob for the screenies)

What. In. The. Name. Of. Fuck. Is that black thing with red blobs supposed to be?

 

[Yer_wha?!]

I got images of having a vent in your flat linked to next door and the fragrant aroma of eggs, fish being softly gently cooked to mush wafting through it into your flat. You would forever have the drain man out thinking they had gone bad!

Isn't that how suspicions were raised over j*ff*ry d*hm*r?

 

[Enwre]

A train chaos is my favourite genre of chaos. You've got Mediterranean arses, you've got being trapped, you've got shin-kicking, you've got Opal Fruits. There's truly something for everyone.

Don’t forget the falling under a train chaos!
Edited to add - apologies I see you have mentioned the being trapped chaos. I was just being a little more dramatic with my wording in the absence of our wordy smol pixie.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

It looks like a Gremlin after you throw water at it!

If you feed them after midnight*
(Water makes them multiply/spawn)

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

OK, I give up on chefs. Next thing I'll find out is that Heston copied all of his recipes from Jack and it'll push me over the edge.

You may be onto something here...

 

[Brian Butterfield]

It might be fine or they might just have been told to pretend to get on to avoid ruining gatherings for everyone else.

Yes, I suspect he just tolerates her for their parent's sake.

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

What in Christ’s name is the black thing with red eyes?! I’m just about to go to sleep, for goodness sake!!

It’s a slug. Bonne chance for your good night’s sleep, tender one.

 

[TreeTrunksApplePie]

Jack lo

That link to her Guardian profile has led me down the rabbit hole of reading some of her awful columns again. This bit stood out in the Cameron Firefighter one. So when BD retired he was on less than £28K a year but she was on £27K as a call operator in 2011?
View attachment 1751404

Jack loves a bit of tricksy wording. No way her years of service dad was getting that, but ‘we’ the fire service probably have that as a more junior level of pay. In fact yep, quick Google and that’s a trainee firefighter salary in London, being compared with a (non entry level) city banker salary Make it make sense Jackie

 

[Readingismyhobby]

No idea about the other blog. I've seen reference to Twitter comments by the brother but if they existed, they've gone now. What I do have a receipt for is Jack giggling about how her brother worries about his mates "jacking off" to her picture in the paper.



From 21:58 minutes in.

She certainly has a high opinion of herself

 

[hiyaaaacath]

Twitter wimp

 

[moldwarp]

As we’ve been denied a live Jack today and as we’ve had Singing Jack and Piano Jack on the thread. I feel it only right that we have Poetry Jack to complete the trifecta (and as we’ve traumatized the Music Teachers, it seems cruel to leave out the English Teachers)

Argh, this one makes me want to shrink and boil my own head

 

[ForgettyBetty]

View attachment 1751549
View attachment 1751551

Please please can someone screenshot those 2014(?) guardian shit-food comments as replies to this?