Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[LavaFlake]

I thought to myself: I can’t believe they’ve used such a bad photo taken by Jack! And ninnies, it’s not even hers! They paid someone,
I would imagine, to take it and publish it!

Imagine what it would look like if they hadn't paid someone to professionallly make it and then photograph it...

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I’m going to be thinking about that drawer for hours now.

Same Sorry.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

I'm sure I've seen Andi Oliver giving it the old thanks for all you do on the haunted bird app.
<Paging Elon>.

Plus keeping her wait staff tips iirc?

 

[Dummyfingers]

My theory on Dordrecht is that old Harold googled & found this.
The stare into the camera and smile is pure vomit. Also she really cannot sing.

The opening line kills me every damn time!
“Made a meal and threw it up on Sunday!”

 

[Foxvint]

I've never been on the first page before and not sure how to TLDR this, but someone posted the acknowledgements from previous books - I can't help but laugh that one of the foodie friends is the King's stepson. Very relatable.

Lol yes. So anti-establishment.

 

[Foxvint]

These singing videos- i assumed they were something a clever forensic frau still had a link to but no. Oh no. They're just still left up there on her YouTube for all to see shameless

 

[Observ@h]

I suspect it relates to jealousy - he got into the RAF and she didn’t. She seems to have lots of resentment against her bro in general.

Grunking so this may be out of time. I think they could be rather a sexist family, the boys/men are everything and the girls/women are treated dismissively. Add to that her brother is cleverer and more competent, regardless of prejudice. Perhaps some male foster children were given more attention. Oh God I’m feeling sorry for her again…I will fight it.

Edited to add… many others got there first!

 

[NellieBoo]

As usual I suspect this is Jack's version of reality. Authors don't spend that much time with the art directors of their books, at least not enough time to become best buddies with them like Jack seems to think she was.

Don't forget though that Jack's life is...

 

[PiggyPigPigs]

My theory on Dordrecht is that old Harold googled & found this.
The stare into the camera and smile is pure vomit. Also she really cannot sing.

I AM

 

[Amanda Lin]

Also, back on the subject of the fire service, here’s didn’t happen of the year eleventybillion+1
View attachment 1751821And didn’t happen of the year eleventybillion+2. Yeah, Of course they did.
View attachment 1751822
She’s SO full of utter fucking nonsense that it’s almost laughable.

Wow. Even if that first encounter over the mother’s pride slices was true (ofc it wasn’t), the sheer arrogance of believing 15 years later they remembered that conversation or who she was.

Marching about displaying up by her fictional epaulettes of self importance.

 

[frankychester]

Oh fuck off jack. There's nothing wrong with her self confidence. She genuinely thinks she is as brilliant at singing...again...as she is at everything else.

And billy Bragg?! He was a hypocritical has been two decades ago. I'm 48 and he was a good few years before my time.

I will never forget an anecdote told by nicky wire from the manics about the first time they did Reading Festival and Billy Bragg had his own luxury portaloos that nobody else was allowed to use. So from the stage, NW called him a 'big nosed cunt'

Pretty sure it was the other way round and it was the Manics who had the luxury toilets.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Well, I can't find Caroline with either hands, no hands, feet or anything else. Bah!

I wonder if she's one of the 'many' friends that Jack has roped into moving mountains of stuff to the enormous new house supposed one bedroom flat.

 

[ItchOfTheWestCoast]

View attachment 1752555

NEEDLESS TO SAY I HAD THE LAST LAUGH

 

[TheCat'sMother]

I can't, I can't do it. Honestly lads, I got one bar into the "singing" bit and it made me both peripatically and viscerally stabby. Then, my watch started beeping.
God I haaaaaaaaaaate her.

I've really tried, but failed to make it all the way through.

 

[DragonBoy]

She laughed about accidentally breaking SBs arm when she pushed his swing too hard. She loves boasting about assaulting others. She's 'decked' her brother, thrown a book at an art director and kicked someone in the shins. Or maybe she's lying.

Won’t somebody please think of the radiators

 

[Ablemabel]

And it's not just young people. I have a couple of colleagues in their 60s who are unable to retire because they rent and can't continue to do so on their pension.

But when has Jack ever done any useful campaigning on these issues? It's all woe-is-me for not having a mansion...

Christ that is just terrible.

 

[Amanda Lin]

Let us not forget the quest of the Lost Tile, where our preternaturally strong pixie extracted her forgotten bounty from the floor, or the swearing at support staff over made up incidents via Twitter and getting scolded.

Also the backpack full of goat legs.

Will she pack some raw meat for her journey to the Diff?

 

[StatusWoe]

What in all that is possessed and unholy happens at 1.55? It is ALARMING.

Soooooo I'mmmmmmm heeeeeere

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

Is "£29 from Prowler" on the inventory...?

I swear to any deity you choose that I read that as “£29 from Growler”.

 

[TheCat'sMother]

View attachment 1752275

This looked so much better in my head.

Absolute genius!