Jack Monroe #431 Close your begs, woman!

[BurgerLaBill]

Is it not some kind of rearrangement of the unruly labia?

Windsock-Vaglips sounds like someone she'd target as relationship material. Old money, deep pockets, older, posh.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Thank you! I knew I hadn't imagined it!
I thought she had said something similar in one of her archive blog posts, but now of course I can't find the stupid entry. Something along the lines of she didn't have a child just to let someone else look after him. Which surprised me at the time because it was a very different take on the departure from the fire service saga.

This strikes me as incredibly controlling and.creepy, coming on top of all her other narc behaviours.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

No idea about the other blog. I've seen reference to Twitter comments by the brother but if they existed, they've gone now. What I do have a receipt for is Jack giggling about how her brother worries about his mates "jacking off" to her picture in the paper.



From 21:58 minutes in.

Gobby goblin snark face.

 

[Captainmouse]

She’s as thick as one of her brick cakes if they are sold by weight it doesn’t matter how smol they are, x smol = y medium/large

Forgive me as I haven’t done full grunks yet but I was absolutely outraged at this, which has to be the most blatant lie ever….

 

[Captainmouse]

Is anyone planning to pre-order/buy Grifty Kitchen? There's a few things in it I want to see now that probably makes it worth a punt at half price, we could have a communal canal copy.
Despite that being 20p in Jack's pocket I've got a way to make up for it via the slopathon, so no worries there.

@MrsFawlty I don't even know what a tortoise is

Like a turtle, without the water

 

[MavisBeacon]

Music teacher me can’t even watch it. Or the bathroom one.

Go search for the piano video, you will die on the spot of cringe

 

[Hold my beans]

I agree - a tale of woe involving mental health and a campaign of bullying.
Not the realisation she was completely out of her depth.
Wonder how much time she gave them to reorganise things?

She was still down at 8am

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Don't believe she was dismissed either. More like she flaked and used SB as a reason to quit.

Or she didn't apply for them in the first place.

 

[Captainmouse]

As a flat dwelling frau it's got to be Downstairs neighbour Jack because you get all the Jacks .

More worryingly, all the smells plus a barking dog

 

[drusy]

He also 1. Wears hats like hers and they used to have fun counting them
View attachment 1750114View attachment 1750115

2. Has mugs and crockery like hers which means they’re “as good as married”
View attachment 1749998
3. Has to stay with her til next spring cos she put him in her new book acknowledgements, which he “took quite well”
View attachment 1750014View attachment 1750015

Spoiler: blurstoftimes glorious Harold post

View attachment 1750024

4. Dumped her stupid ass 3 weeks after she posted 3. above in “a bolt from the blue after a lovely weekend away”. No idea what went wrong. Such a curve ball!
View attachment 1750017
Oh PS he also has parents that she made

Spoiler: THIS FOR

View attachment 1750131

(thanks to @Marmalade Atkins @Boyo @blurstoftimes and @Sideboard Bob for the screenies)

Ah yes, I'd forgotten the smol demon cake.
Who wouldn't want a cake with a hellish creature, doing unspeakable things with carrots on it?

 

[noweverythingsucks]

Jack is friends with Bojo's sister on FB. She is also friends with her other account
View attachment 1751444

nooo, not Andi Oliver

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Mask truly slipped here eh

This pic is like one of those ones where you have to write what's happening

"And I'm holding in my hand this month's Patreon rewards". Etc etc

 

[TheCat'sMother]

Sorry catching up from yesterday. So she has enough of them to fill a drawer and in her new "forever home" she will be sleeping in the lounge with SB next door on the gold chavvy bed at least some of the time and she will be keeping them ……………..
a) in the lounge arranged like a modern art installation on the (Cotswold) sideboard
b) in a draw in the bedroom
c) in the kitchen for stirring slop
all of these would be highly inappropriate with an impressionable teen in the house

I actually thought she'd stuck one of them in the top of that chocolate cake abomination.

 

[colouredlines]

Thanks for the forensic info! So is the brother stuff like hearsay - as in someone saying they saw it on twitter or wherever but it all got deleted? Just trying to work out where it came from/make sure I’ve not made up hearing about it lol

Yeah, it's been mentioned a few times, but no receipts. If only Tattle had been around a few years ago...

 

[Spanner]

I think “dear heart” is from a jay rayner tweet to Jack? I can’t follow him now, after that

 

[Captainmouse]

It’s strange how she didn’t want to claim benefit because MUMMY WORKS, but then mummy didn’t want to farm her child out to family members or a

Spoiler: Offensive term

day orphanage

How does that work?

She wanted to be paid to stay home

Not in this day and age. I'm a senior exec level of career development in FE/HE and unlike cuntybaws™ I am actually properly heavily inked. Full sleeves, back piece, shoulders, chest and job stopper hand tattoos. Never held me back at all.

Only thing she would need to cover up is her shitty attitude.

lingering honk!

 

[Hold my beans]

Pair of utterly odious fannies

SHAN'T be watching that one.

 

[Ablemabel]

Still about half a thread behind after Jack's antics this weekend, but I can't help but think she's seriously misunderstood the vibe because her life has been so sheltered.

Moaning on and on about her living situation. In 2021, about 25% of 20-34 year olds still lived with their parents, largely because of financial reasons. I don't know what percentage of that same group live in house/flat shares but I'd guess it's pretty high, especially in London and the southeast. Most people I know have way more qualifications than Jack, and genuinely work insane hours, but have nothing but a small rented bedroom to show for it (which they are normally not allowed to decorate). A growing number of young renters don't even have access to a living room as landlords are turning these into bedrooms for the extra £££.

Conversely, apart from a very short period where she was (allegedly?) in a houseshare, Jack has always lived independently. Even with a kid, that's a luxury in itself, before we even get started on the tens of thousands she's spunked on expensive furniture and tat.

Any working class young adult will look at Jack and instantly see she's a charlatan.

Absolutely this!

 

[Jemadah]

My skills are not up to scratch. I have no idea how you’re finding the Caroline who isn’t Caroline who does and doesn’t have hands. Humph.

I think it was via a search for the company she used to work for when she had hands. (Delete if not allowed, mods)

 

[auntylil]

If you feed them after midnight*
(Water makes them multiply/spawn)

Oh lordy, trust me! Thankspaceyou - I'll put that mixed memory down to my age

Morning ninnies! Loving those old Guardian comments this morning, thanks for the chuckles! Cure your hangover with some eggs, fried bread, and some dog poo mixed with live worms. Mmmm, works for me!