Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[FitiverMin]

duck you Jack. I eat tacos with a knife and fork. Chicken wings and pizza too. Let your kid be himself. 'The idea is to get dirty' yeah I know you think it is, I've seen your hands.

But he's a working class wee lad, shouldn't he be scooping it up with his hands like peasants do?

 

[OwlChampagne]

Slopalong: Cooking with Jack Monroe

A thread to document and discuss the challenges and chaos of making one of Jack Monroe’s many ‘recipes’.

tattle.life

It's all happening here.

Wall to wall slop from now until New Year I think with all the human sacrifices eager volunteers

 

[Captainmouse]

I can’t remember where it was but I’ve seen Jack trotting out the old thing about how if you give children a range of foods from early on they won’t be fussy eaters. This is only ever said by people who haven’t had the experience of parenting a child who just will not eat anything other than a very narrow range of foods, no matter what you offer them.

I was 'given' a wide range of foods as a child, I have an odd diet as an adult. Once I was able to make my own choice of foods I decided to exclude all that I didn’t like

 

[Saltfish84]

Petition to have all poetry removed from the thread

First time I’ve watched that Allegra clip. Not nice. I don’t like her. She’s not a scamming charlatan (I think…) but she’s unpleasant.

 

[Lalalalalalalalalalala]

What a pair of thundering cunts. Shaming a child like that.

Honestly, if she's autistic, she would never say that. My husband is autistic and son has very mild sensory issues, both absolutely hate getting their hands dirty, like have to wash/wipe their hands straight away. Son hated any form of messy play, even when a baby. If her son ate her f*****g food she should just be grateful and stop laughing at how he chose to eat it.

 

[That Forensic Man]

@That Forensic Man (or anyone else) if you can find this audition tape I will do a slopalong while cooking and eating 344% more Jackslops than those to which I have already committed- all of them selected by the most sadistically minded fraus on these threads.

View attachment 1704169

PS My phone autocarroted “anyone else” to “a fine ride” which is how I am 344% sure that my life has been (her number of Patreons multiplied by 344% divided by the number of DKL ‘series’ co-presenting gigs she got given) more fun than hers.

Autocarrot you flatter me
The X Factor season 1 premiered on 04/09/2004 when Jack was 16y 5mo old so could technically have taken part as there was a 16-24 category. Probably more likely to be season 2 onwards (20/08/2005) though due to filming etc.
"Each year's competition begins with auditions round, which consists of three stages held several months prior to the series premier"
If we can narrow the year/age/season down that would help greatly.
Also this might be an issue:

Just noticed her twitter follower count has dropped from 571.1k to 570.8k over the last 24 hours or so.

 

[Hollaaa]

Just noticed her twitter follower count has dropped from 571.1k to 570.8k over the last 24 hours or so.

Yessss, Elon. Sort that tit out.

 

[The carlin]

If I had to guess, I’d say they were out of focus print Dr Martens chelsea boots

Spoiler: Something like these

NOT these exact ones, but something in the same style/a different pattern
View attachment 1703869View attachment 1703870
Either that or they’re her DEAD grandad’s one pair of everlasting immigrant shoes.

Could it be these ones

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Autocarrot you flatter me
The X Factor season 1 premiered on 04/09/2004 when Jack was 16y 5mo old so could technically have taken part as there was a 16-24 category. Probably more likely to be season 2 onwards (20/08/2005) though due to filming etc.
"Each year's competition begins with auditions round, which consists of three stages held several months prior to the series premier"
If we can narrow the year/age/season down that would help greatly.
Also this might be an issue:

View attachment 1704322

Just noticed her twitter follower count has dropped from 571.1k to 570.8k over the last 24 hours or so.

Did she get to the point of actually going before the judges and being filmed? From what I understand it’s only the ones who are very good or eccentric or deluded actually get filmed, the rest get triaged out without ever seeing Simon Cowell. Jack is pretty dull and is a middling singer, she’d have been shown the exit quickly.

 

[Shimmering]

Thread's moving too quickly but someone said her time with Allegra prompted her transformation into a dickensian urchin and I agree with this so much. To be fair, it must have been heartbreaking to have experienced that lifestyle and then be dumped out of it back to normality. She was naive to move in with Allegra so quickly (especially with her son in tow) and I get the impression she was nothing more than an amusement until Allegra got bored / annoyed and sent her packing to rehab. I just get that impression from the dynamic between them, like Allegra is humouring an enthusiastic toddler rather than an equal partner.

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Ladies and gentlemen, drumroll please...... Introducing theeeeeeee Slop Girls!

 

[GriftyPixie]

Could it be these ones
View attachment 1704353

Lol the spending really is quite incredible. Particularly when you consider that the photos she uploads offer only a small glimpse into her life. I would hazard a guess that the Tattle list doesn’t cover a fraction of the designer items she owns. Reall

I find the "bit gauche, darling" clip absolutely chilling. I suspect it is a highly personal trigger as a class crossing Frau but it seems so cruel to me. Why would you murmur behavioural correction on the spot to your loved one? If someone really crossed the line somehow, I can understand addressing it later in private but during an interview I would have either laughed along, hooted that "you can't say that" or loudly talked over her to try and redirect the conversation. To be publicly, kindly, condescendingly, told I am gauche would crush me.

Henry Higgins/ Barbara Woodhouse vibes from Leggy there

Agree. I googled Allegra recently to see who she was and, from the clips that I watched, saw a subtle undercurrent of aggression and control that only those who have experienced it can recognise. It made my spidey senses tingle.

I also find the difference in age, wealth, social standing and even physical stature quite chilling. It’s very very off.

 

[Geetbo]

Wall to wall slop from now until New Year I think with all the human sacrifices eager volunteers

 

[maytoseptember]

I find the "bit gauche, darling" clip absolutely chilling. I suspect it is a highly personal trigger as a class crossing Frau but it seems so cruel to me. Why would you murmur behavioural correction on the spot to your loved one? If someone really crossed the line somehow, I can understand addressing it later in private but during an interview I would have either laughed along, hooted that "you can't say that" or loudly talked over her to try and redirect the conversation. To be publicly, kindly, condescendingly, told I am gauche would crush me.

That’s an interesting way of putting it. I didn’t think of it like that.

However, Allegra is so posh, it might just be that “bit gauche darling” is her equivalent of “you can’t say that!” That’s how it comes across to me, anyway. I think that’s just the way Allegra talks, and that’s the sort of language she uses, as formal as it sounds to my ears.

I dunno, maybe I’m giving her too much credit. I’m not sure she meant to be condescending either. It’s just her vibe, as discussed yesterday.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Could it be these ones
View attachment 1704353

I think them's the ones, chapeau!

£200 Joules womens westbourne luxe chelsea boots brown ocelot

Another day in the canal another factoid learned

ETA this week we've gone from £130,242 to over £137,000, I'll do the weekly update tomorrow

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I'm still hooting and fizzing about that poem/song. You can just tell what was going through her mind when she wrote it. It's like

Normal people: *chattering, etc.*
Jack: Excuse me, did anyone hear a girl on the radio? In between the punk rock and the Alan Yentob interview?
Normal people: Um, not really, Jack.
Jack: No one was listening for a lone middle-class voice with a broken hinge?
Normal people: You do sound a little unhinged.
Jack: HA! You think I'm just another single mother, a chav eating burgers in front of Jeremy Kyle. You don't know how I cried for all the years' worth of things I had to sell, for my lost home ...

Lament for a lost CHESTERFIELD SOFA

 

[Lucky Escape]

I think them's the ones, chapeau!

£200 Joules womens westbourne luxe chelsea boots brown ocelot

Another day in the canal another factoid learned

View attachment 1704445

ETA this week we've gone from £130,242 to over £137,000, I'll do the weekly update tomorrow

Eugh. I can imagine her using the crap "how do you titillate an ocelot? you oscillate its tit a lot" joke as a come-on whilst wearing them, too.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Quoting myself like a ninnie but I am like Jack, I have no shame

I've spent the last few minutes screenshotting the food photos from her first book so if I label each one as to what it allegedly should look like according to the book.

And then..... what it actually looks like when the canal does it, bearing in mind that the first book especially will have had food stylists and advisors to make it look as good as possible.

Can anyone set up a way to do a fake recipe gallery? Bows to more technical frauds

This is a spectacular idea, tender one.

 

[FitiverMin]

Did she get to the point of actually going before the judges and being filmed? From what I understand it’s only the ones who are very good or eccentric or deluded actually get filmed, the rest get triaged out without ever seeing Simon Cowell. Jack is pretty dull and is a middling singer, she’d have been shown the exit quickly.

I went on the X Factor as part of a "tit group" so my best friend could get on the telly. We went through three rounds of auditions and had multiple calls to make sure we were tv material. I can see Jack getting on as a narcissism fool, or through her fabricated sob story.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Quoting myself like a ninnie but I am like Jack, I have no shame

I've spent the last few minutes screenshotting the food photos from her first book so if I label each one as to what it allegedly should look like according to the book.

And then..... what it actually looks like when the canal does it, bearing in mind that the first book especially will have had food stylists and advisors to make it look as good as possible.

Can anyone set up a way to do a fake recipe gallery? Bows to more technical frauds

Brilliant idea plus I picked up these food fraud candidates from the recent discussion, the ones where an enterprising frau realised what she was passing off as her own. Just need to find the pics:

Salmon Pie

Jack Monroe #69 I can see clearly now the make-up’s gone

For the life of me I just can’t understand why she’d suddenly start sharing her son. It’s the worst thing she’s doing at the moment. It’s almost like she thinks all the mama stuff will keep up the interest in her, and that crucial Patreon dolla 💰 why would you expose a child to public social...

tattle.life

Jack Monroe #69 I can see clearly now the make-up’s gone

For the life of me I just can’t understand why she’d suddenly start sharing her son. It’s the worst thing she’s doing at the moment. It’s almost like she thinks all the mama stuff will keep up the interest in her, and that crucial Patreon dolla 💰 why would you expose a child to public social...

tattle.life

Jack Monroe #69 I can see clearly now the make-up’s gone

For the life of me I just can’t understand why she’d suddenly start sharing her son. It’s the worst thing she’s doing at the moment. It’s almost like she thinks all the mama stuff will keep up the interest in her, and that crucial Patreon dolla 💰 why would you expose a child to public social...

tattle.life

Salmon Pie • Young’s Seafood

youngsseafood.co.uk

Waitrose Parmentier Potatoes

Waitrose Parmentier Potatoes | Waitrose & Partners

Buy Waitrose Parmentier Potatoes online from Waitrose today. Picked, packed and delivered by hand in convenient 1-hour slots

www.waitrose.com

Soup

Greek mezze, dolmades
Co-op summer picnic range… usually 3 for 2

Aunt Bessie's yourshire puddings

Walkers shortbread