Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[binkbonk]

Did anybody hear the frau on the bus?
She's off to make slop that looks like pus
Did anybody hear the frau on the bus?
She's rethinking her choices and feeling nonplus(sed)

 

[Justhereforthedrama]

I really dislike Allegra. I think she looks like a right gobby, haughty mare. The sort of woman who says stuff like ‘I think you’ll find’ and ‘i have to say I disagree’ and just as the meetings about to finally end ‘can I just say…’

Like Aunt Marge from Harry Potter

 

[Bugger13]

Like Aunt Marge from Harry Potter

Yes, it’s hard to choose when you ponder who was the fister & who was the fistee. Both she and Jack deserve it.

 

[quiet side of midnight]

I feel for that Patreon squig. As is always the case with Jack......sound and fury signifying nothing.

These aren't the actions of a woman feeling incredibly guilty about what she's doing.

Deeds, not words. Still taking money, still providing nothing.

I think the only way Patreon Squig is getting a refund is if Jack manages to actually send out some of her Patreon backlog, otherwise she's setting herself up for more refund requests, even then I'd not hold my breath waiting! If she does it at all it won't be until she's got some postcards and crap in the post, and I wouldn't hold my breath for that either

 

[Julia Edwards]

I hear it as a Billy Bragg song, and can imagine Jack wrote it as such

You're right, this is probably exactly what she was thinking. Like her own little rewrite of 'Levi Stubbs' Tears'.

Yes, it’s hard to choose when you ponder who was the fister & who was the fistee. Both she and Jack deserve it.

Fistee Kitchen

 

[Foxvint]

Did anyone see the frau boiling eggs?
Unlike Jack she does more than begs
Did anyone see the frau boiling eggs?
Laughing like the time she bought tights with 3 legs

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I won't lie, I think the whole thing would have benefitted from a verse about her chesterfield and Royal Doulton with the hand-printed blue periwinkles.

Sellin' my Doulton out on the BOULEVAAAARD of austerity
No place to call hooooome
Thanks to the eeeevil toooories

Imagine the below in the style of Joan Jett, Lita Ford or another cool lady rocker of your choice with Jack shredding it on the guitar and rocking out.

The updated 2022 version would be:

A working class girl stealing food to survive
Eyes closed at roundabouts so still cannot drive
Blaming mummy and daddy that I cannot swim
Throwing slop shite together that’s really quite grim

Claiming multiple times I was a prozzy and bleep
While I still hide from the bailiffs behind my front door
Said I was “almost” evicted, now it’s multiple times
And don’t bleeping ask about that index of Vimes

Lived rough for two long years in the freezing and damp
Now I own a smol pig hat and THAT BLOODY LAMP

 

[Justhereforthedrama]

Did anyone see the man on the train?
He was laughing out loud and being a pain.
Did anyone see the man on the train?
He's reading about Jack on Tattle again.

Was that THE Jeff Linton?

 

[Soup or Noodle]

That's astonishing. It's been, what, 4 days now? Is she going out of her way to make herself look dreadful?

When's her patreon pay day? She's maybe intending on robbing patreon squigs to pay a patreon squig

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Fistee Kitchen

bleeping hell, you’d be risking life, limb and serious skin grafts every time you bent over to take something out of the (Rangemaster) oven.

 

[The carlin]

This is gold. It says so much about Jack. Middle class, self pitying, obsessed with consumer goods so that crying about selling them is the deepest emotion she can imagine, and also baying for attention. Did anybody hear? Did anybody hear?? DID ANYBODY HEAR???

Unintentional doggerel! Move over William Mc Gonagall

Her poetry is self indulgant garbage and I say that as someone who loves bad poetry. So much so I made a special trip to William Mcgonagalls tombstone when I was in Edinburgh (jacksspiritualhome) in September. Then read 'on yonder Hill' to my very bewildered Harold

 

[ItchOfTheWestCoast]

Is cocaine a spice?

Thread title?

 

[Cantthinkofausername]

I reckon she feeds the slop to SB, hired help, OHs, anyone around. No wonder they all LEFT.

All the nice stuff she keeps for herself.

I don't think she feeds it to SB either. I just can't imagine a kid his age eating that kind of food.
I remember when she posted her first 'stocktake' of the food she already had in, there were chicken nuggets and a couple of other convenience foods in there. I reckon she feeds him things like that and sausages, etc, plus takeaways (which she freely admits to buying).

 

[Walkdengirl]

[IMG alt="MancBee"]https://media3.tattle.life/data/avatars/m/71/71735.jpg?1628094795[/IMG]
MancBee
VIP Member
Sep 5, 2020

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• #218

duck me sideways, you lot are amazing. Nothing gets past this Cabal.

That is definitely the fish pie, the description on the pack is almost word perfect on her post, the piped topping is the final giveaway. It even mentions the Red Leicester!

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I think it might have been me (bows to the cabal ). thread #69 One of my first posts! Wasn’t there also a tapas/greek meal can’t remember which where some of the recipes looked like Co op ready meals?

I was just about to post about the Greek mezze that she bought from the co op and passed off as her own work, her mum commented on that

 

[overdueanadventure]

Is cocaine a spice?

It's not 69p from Lidl and that's for sure.

 

[Foxvint]

I don't think she feeds it to SB either. I just can't imagine a kid his age eating that kind of food.
I remember when she posted her first 'stocktake' of the food she already had in, there were chicken nuggets and a couple of other convenience foods in there. I reckon she feeds him things like that and sausages, etc, plus takeaways (which she freely admits to buying).

Mums are still shamed for not spending 2 hours making something from scratch but my sons now 6ft3 after 15 years of potato waffles an chicken nuggets. All kids want the same tit

 

[GoLando]

I hate poetry but I don’t want to miss out:

Just look at this loser
A girl on the grunk
Can’t always
Keep up

It’s hard to
Sit tight

Always waiting

Contemplating the hopeful
Universal cancellation of the
Nefarious grifter which is not before
Time

 

[FrumpyCat]

I don't think she got any other money confused with teemill money, the dashboard is too clear. I think its more likely she out and out lied, and boasted of big figures as the canal were vocal at the time about it being a rushed idea with tit merch. She was hyped up on attention (and/or the cold weather) at the time, proper giddy with it.

She could have just shared a picture or two of this dashboard which would have really shown everyone what had been raised. Instead, she shared a spreadsheet that seemed to have been made by her, listing all the sales. It didn't look like anything teemill produce.

View attachment 1703009

I don't think Jack was intending to act dishonestly - I would guess a flurry of initial interest from her most invested followers meant she convinced herself that the t-shirts were going to go viral. So, in her head, £500 in an hour translated itself in to 10k over 24 hours.

of course it didn't happen. The merchandise was not good enough. Even that squig who claimed they were wearing one on their fa my foreign holiday couldn't remember the slogan correctly.

It would take a lot to convince me that Jack didn't have to pay from her own (or possibly Big Dave's or Old Harold's) pocket.

Option, Jack admitting she had lied for kudos?

 

[Cantthinkofausername]

Mums are still shamed for not spending 2 hours making something from scratch but my sons now 6ft3 after 15 years of potato waffles an chicken nuggets. All kids want the same tit

I wouldn't say all, my eldest loved roasts and spaghetti bolognaise (still does, lol), but he sure as hell wouldn't have touched any of Jack's recipes.
There's still a place for waffles and nuggets as well though, won't deny that.

 

[overdueanadventure]

I don't think Jack was intending to act dishonestly - I would guess a flurry of initial interest from her most invested followers meant she convinced herself that the t-shirts were going to go viral. So, in her head, £500 in an hour translated itself in to 10k over 24 hours.

of course it didn't happen. The merchandise was not good enough. Even that squig who claimed they were wearing one on their fa my foreign holiday couldn't remember the slogan correctly.

It would take a lot to convince me that Jack didn't have to pay from her own (or possibly Big Dave's or Old Harold's) pocket.

Option, Jack admitting she had lied for kudos?

I don't think she can at this stage. Not after the recent blogpost.