Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[moldwarp]

She must be absolutely raging she can't unleash the flying monkeys. I agree, she's definitely been read the riot act by her agent and/or publisher. Just think, if she hadn't spent the last decade behaving like an absolute twat, someone might have been willing to spend cashos on real reputation management.

See I don’t think she’s been read the riot act by anyone. Her agent and publisher stood by for years whilst she insulted the late Ivan Cameron, led flying monkey attacks on ordinary Twitter users and tried to get Jamie Oliver sacked. They’re hardly gonna baulk at a flounce over vile roasties. The reason she’s relatively quiet is cos every time she goes on Twitter she gets laughed at or asked difficult questions and her Royal Narcness can’t cope with such things.

It’s ironic that Jack has tried her best to cancel Jamie Oliver and David Walliams and Lee Anderson but has simply caused a slow low grade cancellation on herself.

She’ll be back tho, the weathers getting a lot colder and she’ll be back with some dessert related nonsense once the begins in Southend.

 

[Fraggle]

I see AM has been getting some horrible DM’s about Jack from the flying monkeys not realising the info she has shared is from their saviour herself. This is what we have to contend with. How on Earth do these people manage to dress themselves properly let alone function in the real world?

 

[definitelynotvlad]

Coming over from the last thread to say I’ll join the slop along, and in honour of my newborn son I’ll have a go at afterbirth oats if not already taken xoxo

ETA: just seen someone has beaten me to it (can’t believe we live in a world where more than one of us is willing to make a jackslop), will choose another when I’ve had more sleepos.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Reading @colouredlines post about the Leggy timeline in the last thread has me recalling something and, well…

“So Jack, what first attracted you to the wealthy successful chef and restaurant owner, Allegra MacVeady?”

Spoiler: Let’s see, shall we…

Evening Standard, Nov 2013

@colouredlines post in the last thread

Guardian, Sept 2014

Read: I’ve moved into my partner’s massive London house rent free and she’s inflicted me upon her kitchen staff, though I’m being disingenuous and entitled as fuck by not saying any of that.

Also, policewoman new year wife? <<insert Mariah I don’t know her gif here>> (She LEFT, and I traded UP! High Fist Five!)

Edit

 

[Foxvint]

What Jack won't acknowledge is everyone has different circumstances. From kitchen appliances to food budget to time to dietary needs. The "recipes" in her books are not the answer to everything, same as That Man's recipes aren't.

There is no one answer, a one size fits all solution. The tips That Man gives are more likely to be useful, as they can be used to adapt multiple recipes. Cooking programs aren't there just to show you that recipe - they are to inspire, and give ideas on how to make things suitable for your household.

Frozen mince - usually cheaper than fresh, and you can use exactly how much you need. No point suggesting that to Jack's followers as you'll get a pile on about being rich because you have a freezer!

Yeh an most ppl on a budget would rather eat cheap noodles and sandwiches multiple days a week to allow them a bit of what they fancy on another day. You have to have something to look forward to. Hate this patronising fantasy of everyone permanently chewing the cud of a smartprice kidney bean and crushed dreams stew

 

[Trauma Frotters]

I really dislike Allegra. I think she looks like a right gobby, haughty mare. The sort of woman who says stuff like ‘I think you’ll find’ and ‘i have to say I disagree’ and just as the meetings about to finally end ‘can I just say…’

I find the "bit gauche, darling" clip absolutely chilling. I suspect it is a highly personal trigger as a class crossing Frau but it seems so cruel to me. Why would you murmur behavioural correction on the spot to your loved one? If someone really crossed the line somehow, I can understand addressing it later in private but during an interview I would have either laughed along, hooted that "you can't say that" or loudly talked over her to try and redirect the conversation. To be publicly, kindly, condescendingly, told I am gauche would crush me.

Henry Higgins/ Barbara Woodhouse vibes from Leggy there

 

[moldwarp]

Artistic Interlude Volume 2: Capitalist Boogaloo

Spoiler: More Jack Poetry

Jan 2013.

View attachment 1705655
Truly she has not moved on from these infantile takes that were already utterly toecurling 10-ish years ago. Tell me you’re an insufferable twat while refusing to acknowledge your privilege and making up nonsense. (Truly, I get that it’s mortifying to be called out on stuff from 10 years ago, but look at this article! She hadn’t changed even the tiniest iota)

First They Came For Woolworths, And I Did Not Speak Out: Echo/Gazette Column 22nd Jan.

I was walking down the High Street on Thursday, as I usually do on any given day. The sight of Jessops, lights dim behind shutters down in the middle of the day, and a few shadowy figures packing u...

web.archive.org

View attachment 1705673
I’m so aggravated by this nonsense every time I see it. Fuck off Jack. Your stupid “sixpence” jam story is utter bollocks- in your own words. And stop telling people to sit down, you insufferable cunt.

Jack Monroe #412 Chiz on Tiz

Yeah, I’ve been reading about her volunteering during The Poverty, and found it interesting that despite what she says to the national media in 2013 about quitting the fire service because it’s “inherently wrong to foist your child on someone else” while you work, seems she actually had no such...

tattle.life

PS I hate to call out anyone on their “lewk” but for the love of semifreddo in a béchamel sauce change that profile pic.

Spoiler

You look like you’re desperately waiting for Boycey to leave Marlene for you and give you a used car lot to run.
View attachment 1705684

Well period poverty is definitely a thing, and very serious and distressing for women who suffer it. If Jack was a real campaigner she would’ve flagged this and explained that your GP will prescribe products if you can’t afford them. Or signpost her followers to womens health charities and clinics that will give you the products. But no. She has make it about herself, and tell a stupid story about stuffing her knickers with the Metro, which as you rightly say is bullshit because newspaper is not absorbent. Although it does create the amusing picture of Jack waddling and rustling loudly wherever she went. Helpful I guess in that you could hear her coming and hide.

 

[maytoseptember]

I must be a cunt because I've worn my Achilles heel out where Jack is concerned. No Vimes Heels here. Actually I think it's because I've already had severe narc exposure and I don't have the patience and sympathy for it these days.

On another note, when are we doing the slop along, is it just any time this month? I was thinking I could attempt this gummy, moist concoction at the weekend as I have all the ingredients. If it looks passable I might post it to Jack's publishers as a thankyou for endorsing Jack.
View attachment 1700811

“My original banana bread recipe is very very popular”

Is that because you stole it off BBC Good Food and tweaked the quantities slightly, just like so many of your other recipes, Jack?

 

[HoopLaa]

Cannot forget the online cooking contest for kids at home to make the "Sticky Brown Poo" that got 1 (ONE) entry. Don't know if it was funded by some charity in Bristol, Aardman or Netflix or a combo of the three but it was a fucking shocker. Pudding also contained nuts so allergy kids ruled out straight away.


Plus it was called a poo.

Thats gross. Inexcusable poor parenting. Especially cos there was another kid he was supposed to rub along with. It should take years of a stable relationship to get to that point of blending families. A revolving door of mums new partners to get used to is a red flag for emotional wellbeing and safeguarding

Coming from the past, so we may have moved on, but I was disturbed by this too.

So he had an aversion to using cutlery which winds Leggy up...but what struck me is that he tried to use cutlery when they went out (so either doesn't have an aversion or was conscious of it and making an effort!) Then they all laugh at him because you're not supposed to eat THIS with cutlery!

Horrible.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Update from patreon squig

 

[maytoseptember]

I'm convinced she doesn't actually eat the slop and anything she produces for 'work' goes in the bin.
Also thinking about this I remember there was a spenny pre-made soup that looked suspiciously like one of her dishes, might explain why we're finding so many of her recipe photos contain ingredients that aren't in them, inexplicable kidney beans and mushrooms the wrong size, things chopped instead of sliced etc.
It's because anything that looks vile (website photos) is hers and anything that looks ok or even nice (book photos) just isn't.
Beyond all of the grifting etc. she's an actual cookery fraud as well. The slopalong has been a massive eye opener for me as I'd not really looked at her recipes closely, they're truly shocking.

Remember the fish pie she “made for SB” with piped mashed potato on top? There’s no way Jack her ever piped mashed potato in her life. Someone in the cabal managed to figure out exactly which ready meal she’d painstakingly decanted into a ceramic dish.

And then there were the Waitrose parmentier potatoes she tried to pass off as her own.

The sheer brass neck! Don’t know how she sleeps at night, truly.

 

[ScarlettOHaha]

It's the disgust related to the practice which is inherently homopbobic. The person could easily of googled it if they wanted, but that's not the point. Context matters, and even asking the question is rude in itself. We have enough judgment reigned on us, I hate saying that here. Its immature and judgemental.

I don’t think disgust related to sexual practices is homophobic necessarily, for example I have disgust for the topic of anal, that doesn’t make me homophobic as it’s a common sexual practise these days for heterosexual couples. But it makes me wince when people go on about it.

 

[Cantthinkofausername]

View attachment 1705571
I’m sure it’s been discussed before but newspaper sanitary towels? About as real as Toothpaste For Dinner Man. Talk about a recipe for a chaffed chuff.

Honestly, she’s just exhausting.

I've never done any of those things, but I have been very poor at times.
I've dissolved the stockcube in water and pretended it's soup.
Formula tastes rank. And in any case it was my baby's food, which I would never have taken. I did shoplift milk once on the bottom of my buggy.
Bog roll (can be from a public toilet) is what most people do for a makedo sanitary pad, or cut up an old towel or a nappy.
I've done all these things and more, that doesn't make me an authority on poverty or a spokesman for all the 'povs' like Jack thinks she is. Everyone has different experiences.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Is Jack the only Blogger/Influencer/Grifter to have two threads open on Tattle simultaneously?

What an accolade.

And tbf she inspired Food and Drink as respite from her ghastliness on the main thread. And also the repeat watchalong thread for Daily Kitchen Live. So she has had four all told

 

[Nottonightbabe]

But when did Jamie say his recipes were specifically for people on UC?
Of course his recipes aren't for everyone and don't address the fuel/food costs crisis across the board - but that is why there is a thing called choice and people can look to other sources for help.
Jack is being a sneaky little twat here. No wonder most other chefs/food writers won't have anything to do with her.

Yeah this aggravates me, people that respond to budgetting help and advice with "but what about the people that don't have a hob/can't afford meat/only have 10p for the week" etc. JO's Save with Jamie book came in for similar criticism. Not all pieces of budget cookery work have to cater for the extreme poorest, there are many people that need help to work to a tighter budget that aren't on the bones of their arse. It doesn't have to be advice to suit all people, all of the time. Just mitherers people trying to pick holes in the work others do.
Usually, the examples they use for their "but what about..." are people that likely don't need budget recipes, they need help and support and could do with signposting to where they can access such.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Chapter Two

When I was eleven I started at a girls grammar school, which daddy drove me to in his pink Mercedes Range Rover discovery, white van, fire engine. I was of course cleverer that 99.364 and three twelfths of Essex, and not like other girls, so had no chums except Rachel from Friends who I chained myself to for cold hard cash charity until she escaped. All my teachers hated me, said they’d take me down a peg or two, and that I’d amount to nothing and Borbora said I might be able to flip burgers if I kept my legs together (Which is actually slander, considering my labial disabilities. WARNED) Then one of them stalked me until I moved house 34 times.

Anyway, despite being utterly brilliant and starring in all the school plays while being cripplingly reclusive, I only managed four point 1.8 and a half o’levels and was expelled because everyone was jealous of me.

TBC

Luckily I'm a seasoned Frau and know not to drink tea whilst reading this thread otherwise 'labial disabilities' would have had Coles' English Breakfast all over my freshly-laundered tablecloth. Je suis mort.

 

[hooplifehero]

Why Jack frown
Economy came for Moulton Brown

 

[Tin Can Crook]

People tagging Jack for shit like this will never stop being funny to me.

Maybe they're related to the toothpaste eating man.

 

[deliasmithwouldcry]

Does anyone else fly into a blind rage at how Jacko words things? I've been lurking here for ages and reading the ridiculous second hand baked beans "recipe" and one of the steps is "rinse the sticky sauce"... and I dunno... it made me want to throw things!

She has such a wanky, feathery strokery way of wording things. I try to just criticise her grifty ways but my god I can't deal with her wording.

 

[Hold my beans]

Did anyone see the woman in asda?
Wrestling a man for reduced priced pasta
Look for the rucksack, note pad and tats
She's only smol, likes wearing flats
Take care if you see that woman in asda