Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[Justacatindisguise]

What is wrong with this bloke?

 

[Jelly Bean]

Thats gross. Inexcusable poor parenting. Especially cos there was another kid he was supposed to rub along with. It should take years of a stable relationship to get to that point of blending families. A revolving door of mums new partners to get used to is a red flag for emotional wellbeing and safeguarding

I know. I had sort of forgotten what a small child is like, but I look after my nearly three year old granddaughter a lot. She has her own routines and comforts, so much so when they went on holiday abroad recently she was quite unsettled.
So the thought of my daughter taking her to move in with a person she met 4 days ago, and expect her own daughter to bond with an unknown child and adult, all the while in unfamiliar surroundings, is utterly unthinkable and imo completely irresponsible.
Poor confused little SB. Then bloody Leggy monitoring his cutlery use.

 

[ScarlettOHaha]

Sorry I didn’t mean it that way, I didn’t know. It just sounds so….so….painful? So anatomically contrary? Every day is a learning day. Sorry.

Hahah sorry this apology has made me laugh. I didn’t think you were homophobic ..
but this is a perfect illustration of how Allegra felt when bloody JM brought it up. It’s not a dinner table conversation as my mother would have said.

 

[Lucky Escape]

Spoiler: Long

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Yeah and was so heartbroken she was on Tinder looking for cock (preferably medical) and telling 570k of her nearest and dearest ~and us~ she was apparently about to marry someone else she’d never actually met barely 9 days later. Boo.
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And…
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Still, life goes on…
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Oh PS she didn’t deactivate “for a bit” either cos she was gleefully posting about OH on 17th then HE LEFT on 19th. A Sunday when a grenade was tossed in her life (I looked up the day/date combo to be FORENSIC)
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W
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(thanks to @Marmalade Atkins for all the Twitter screenies)

It's astonishing when you see it all laid out like that - she's just so unaware.

This bit was especially revealing:

OH's lack of contact with her public/online persona seems to have been one of the main attractions for her. Similarly, when I talked to her, she was delighted to hear that I didn't really use Twitter. She's clearly trying to compartmentalise different bits of her life.

(I can't say that I blame her, but she should perhaps try being a bit more subtle about it...)

 

[Jelly Bean]

I've only just noticed the solid indentation - how the feck is that possible with soup? I don't understand. I'm frightened.

 

[StatusWoe]

Thought this might amuse the canal… a friend sent me one of these lists of people humble bragging and being general twats. And look who turns up!

27 Humblebrags So Cringeworthy We Almost Couldn't Look

Humility is important. Who wants to hang out with someone constantly bragging about their cool stuff or their awesome accomplishments? The folks below might have got the memo but they didn't quite understand it. With a hat tip to the Reddit forum r/humblebrag, check out these showboaters who just...

www.ranker.com

I think I'm going to be sick and for once it's not slop-related.

It's not even a humblebrag. It's just four brags for the price of one:

-I have a big shiny eagle with my name on it!
-I have a drawer full of letters because people think my work is amazing!
-I'm such a great parent because I never get annoyed and my kid adores me.
-I'm above caring about superficial things such as awards. *Ascends to a higher spiritual plane*

Blurgh!

 

[Lucky Escape]

Did anybody see the girl on the settee?
She's eating Maoams, wolfing them down.
Did anybody see the girl on the settee?
She's supposed to be working but she's watching The Crown.

It's good writing songs about yourself.

Did anyone see the man at his desk?
He was hooting and fizzing and being a pest
Did anyone see the man at his desk?
He laughed so much, he had a cardiac arrest

 

[Smol Pixel]

Not to get all sloppy soppy, dear hearts, but I’ve only been here a couple of weeks and this place in hands down my favourite place on the internets.

Oh and Jack Monroe is a lying grifter. Okay. As you were.

 

[Falkor]

My LJC, we’d be doing 17 threads a day if she dared actually publish a memoir. The collective hysteria could power the UK for months. Who needs gas when you have ninnies howling.

There's already a page for it on Amazon, someone at Bluebird must be unusually confident she'll deliver this one on time!

 

[hooplifehero]

Well said, squig

 

[That Forensic Man]

Naah she uses Ocado, deliveroo/just eat etc. we’ve seen the expensive food. She was talking about a particular jam, (can’t remember the flavour) I looked it up, 7-8squid a jar! All those herbs spices, all those dried goods, every type of pasta. The Charlie bighams containers, the gu ramekins. The cheap slop goes in the bin, no way she eats that, it’s all cosplay

I'm convinced she doesn't actually eat the slop and anything she produces for 'work' goes in the bin.
Also thinking about this I remember there was a spenny pre-made soup that looked suspiciously like one of her dishes, might explain why we're finding so many of her recipe photos contain ingredients that aren't in them, inexplicable kidney beans and mushrooms the wrong size, things chopped instead of sliced etc.
It's because anything that looks vile (website photos) is hers and anything that looks ok or even nice (book photos) just isn't (far beyond being explained by them having been professionally photographed).

Beyond all of the grifting etc. she's an actual cookery fraud as well. The slopalong has been a massive eye opener for me as I'd not really looked at her recipes closely, they're truly shocking.
The book recipes having ingredients DOUBLED over the website to serve the same 2 people is a smoking gun in my opinion, just needs some further scrutiny. I do wonder why so many website recipes were lost due to 'technical issues', she's got extensive form for deleting tweets so what's going on there.

 

[AlwightDallin]

Last year I bought an electric pressure cooker and I’m using it many times each week. Brisket is lovely and tender. See if you can get one, I promise you it will pay for itself and you will see an impact on your meter. Also great for batch cooking.

Me too! It’s the best - yesterday we did chili in it for chili dogs for bonfire night. Plenty left over for chili and rice tonight. You can fry the onions directly in it then pressure cooker the rest, leave it on warm to keep as you serve then stick the lid on once cooled and it can be kept for a day or two (or stick in boxes and freeze). Best thing I ever bought, use it 4-5 times a week easily. Tomorrow we’re trying Jamie’s £1 veggie messy lasagne. I love food but I’ve never once ever wanted to cook or eat a Jack creation and I think I TCC lost a lot of peoples interest because people who cook tend to like fresh ingredients and people with food bank tins are less likely to spend £20 on a book telling them how to eat - surely they’re just glad to eat.

I went to my local food bank yesterday to donate some Christmas presents (half price at Tesco on clubcard!) they do a weekly ‘shop’ for anyone who needs it - £4, or free with a referral - and you can pick say 7 tins, 2 dairy, 1 bread, 1 non food, 2 fridge 2 frozen and you can come twice a week. People never end up with food they don’t like or want as they choose it themselves. The lovely food bank people also were giving out candy apples to the kids and potted plants for adults. At Christmas they have Santa giving out selection boxes to kids whilst their parents shop and the gifts go to looked after children and emergency cases where otherwise they’d get very little. I find it very rewarding to see where my donations go (as Phoebe Buffay says there’s no true selfless act and I’m ok with that!)

Jack could do so much with her time and her reach for places like this. Shame she’s only out for herself. Oh sorry, forgot, she gave £280 of other peoples money after months of requests for clarity. What a saint.

 

[reCAPTCHA]

It's a fairly common practice within the lesbian community. I'm sorry it digusts you but you're coming across as a bit homophonic.

Sorry I didn’t mean it that way, I didn’t know. It just sounds so….so….painful? So anatomically contrary? Every day is a learning day. Sorry.

 

[jenny2603]

Is Jack still on the school run?

 

[overdueanadventure]

Ah, a continuity (x2) work denim boiler suit spotted in the wild! Now we can see for ourselves exactly how they get -destroyed- by the nature of her work being a twat in an expensive chair
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Also, she’s so blatantly cosplaying her DEAD immigrant landlord grandfather (with one pair of shoes) in that pic. It’s…odd.

Spoiler

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Lol to ‘an instant hot water tap before it was cool’ (elsewhere in this interminable thread waxes lyrical about when she was SB’s age, so allegedly in the mid 1990s, before hot water taps were cool). #1948 Truther.

Also, clearly the role model for thrift given that “the story” is he came over with one pair of shoes and even when owning properties decades later she implies he still had just the one pair. #NotVimesBoots

"The nature of my work means stuff gets -destroyed-"

What? What?

You're a "cook", twitter twat and media "personality", you're not working down the frigging mines.

Put a bloody apron on and, I don't know, use a knife strop instead of your boiler suit, cos fuck knows what else you could be doing to ruin your clothes. The mind boggles. My aneurysm!

 

[Tin Can Crook]

In relation to that squig asking for advice as she can't afford to eat. The harm she does is just shocking and her fans are seriously out of touch. How is eating 8 meals a day going to help this person if she can't afford lunch? How is recommending Jack's recipes the solution if it's just as inadequate as what this woman can already afford. Jack should be putting her hands up and saying it's impossible then using her platform to campaign for actual change. But instead she enables the tory viewpoints and her own fans parrot it back.

 

[Shimmering]

Thread's moving too quickly but someone said her time with Allegra prompted her transformation into a dickensian urchin and I agree with this so much. To be fair, it must have been heartbreaking to have experienced that lifestyle and then be dumped out of it back to normality. She was naive to move in with Allegra so quickly (especially with her son in tow) and I get the impression she was nothing more than an amusement until Allegra got bored / annoyed and sent her packing to rehab. I just get that impression from the dynamic between them, like Allegra is humouring an enthusiastic toddler rather than an equal partner.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Just been reading the slopalong thread* and had to get out of bed because I was shaking with laughter and Mr Goat was stirring. But it was genuinely shocking to see how often Jack has been paid two, three, four times for the same dreadful recipe that she tweaks each time so you don’t know which is the correct version to use.

Like the mushroom lasagne: it’s on her blog, so she’s had years of ad revenue for that (or at least did, before she permanently disabled ads to avoid a bigger tax bill), it was in the Kickstarter book for which she took over £60k, it was in the same book that got picked up by a publisher so she’s had advance and royalties for it again, and then she was paid no doubt handsomely to make the infamous horse spunk version on Daily Kitchen Live. That’s probably a few thousand for just one recipe, and we see it again and again with her having commissions in local papers, women’s magazines, This Morning, etc etc.

If she didn’t pretend to be poor still I’d applaud the hustle but I love that she completely fucked herself over with her boiling shampoo bollocks. Anyone else would just be grateful they got to make a living from peddling the same shite over and over.

(*I SHAN’T be volunteering because I’m in prep for bench pressing the King [fuck you, Jack, you weakling] and need more protein than Jack’s ungodly creations can provide)

 

[Jelly Bean]

View attachment 1705849This has KILLED me @Valiofthedolls I laughed so loud at the Comet the cat jumped. Then I got to Jessops and I died. What the fuck!!!! Also giving away her middle class credentials there- it’s not like Jessops was a high street staple like M&S.

Of all her sub Adrian Mole efforts this 'poem' has got to be the most Moleish.
'Then they came for Jessops, and I did not speak out, because I did not work for Jessops'.
Hilariously terrible.

 

[jenny2603]

It will forever be fascinating to think what exactly happened in Dordrecht to tip poor old Harold over the edge. And Jack apparently didn't see it coming
It was Dordrecht at the weekend, then she went solo to Edinburgh and intended to wear a bedsheet to an award ceremony, then the planned BBQ on Friday, but dumped on Sunday

Tender one, I must correct part of the above. It was actually my home town of Glasgow that was treated to unwashed clothes and the threat of Jack in a bedsheet. Poor Edinburgh was later on. There have been so many horror visits they all merge into one but if it helps to remember Glasgow= dirty clothes+ still with Harold. Edinburgh= awestruck jocko mistakes Jack for a comedian and the mother of all snowstorms.