Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[Veronicaaa]

Just popping in to say how thrilled I am that the slopathon is happening. Cannot wait for the results to start coming in.

I would sign up myself but as I keep a clean, botulism/salmonella/e-coli free kitchen, I fear the resulting slop will not be authentic. Good luck, brave fraus, and go well. May your sacrifices not be in vain.

Same. I actually bought some salmon paste a few months ago, which is still sitting on my mantlepiece, because I was going to do the salmon noodles. I can't face wasting decent ingredients and energy on her terrible recipes, especially not in this economy. I just find disappointing food really upsetting. For reference - I have been known on at least one occasion to have burst into tears when I've ordered badly in a restaurant. I can't do it to myself. So I can simply applaud the brave Fraus and look forward to seeing the results with my hands over my eyes.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Is it just me, or does Leggy's comment about the cutlery come across as fairly pass agg?

Yes I think to call what a four year old (and not even your own four year old) child does 'a real wind-up' is harsh. Implies she is sitting watching and judging him thinking his behaviour is just to annoy her.
Poor kid. Fairly ropey beginning in life then moved in with strangers after 4 days. Actually moved in with them the day he met them. Cutting him a bit of slack would help.

 

[waffle maker]

It’s all so embarrassing at the moment I can hardly look. I know it was days ago but I keep thinking about her mentioning the school run. She doesn’t drive and her son is in Year 8. Does she walk him to school? Go on the bus with him? Maybe they have a tandem? In my experience no kids his age come to school with parents unless they are being driven.

 

[jenny2603]

She both far too much of a know it and a lazy bugger to get any qualifications. Can you imagine her in an educational setting being taught something like knife skills? First off she’d be all “I’m a professional, I’ve cooked for Mary Portas, this is beneath me!” Then when she bolloxed up filleting a fish or whatever it’d be “I can’t be expected to do this, I’m DISABLED! My hands are ouchy and crumbling to dust!”. She’d be an absolute bloody nightmare to teach.

If by some miracle she did manage to pass such a course, she'd be droning on about how a tutor called her a whore and told her to shut her legs while the class chanted "NEVER AMOUNT TO ANYTHING" but she defied the odds and passed in the top 10% in the whole of the world and everyone clapped and cheered. Then we'd get weird pictures of her in bed with her certificates.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

I can’t remember where it was but I’ve seen Jack trotting out the old thing about how if you give children a range of foods from early on they won’t be fussy eaters. This is only ever said by people who haven’t had the experience of parenting a child who just will not eat anything other than a very narrow range of foods, no matter what you offer them.

Also spoken like someone who has the pretend kind of autism that she uses as an excuse to be a cunt, rather than the real type of autism (or ADHD for that matter) which involves very real sensory aversions.

 

[Tabitha D]

I had to do a double take when reading this recipe. The picture makes it look like the mushrooms are huge, portobello style. But the recipe just says normal mushrooms. So I’m assuming this is just a teeny tiny bowl in the picture and, as ever, this recipe wouldn’t fill a tooth let alone 2-4 people!

And the mushrooms are supposed to be cut in half, but they’re not in the picture. Also, only 200 ml coconut milk and 400 g mushrooms for 2-4 people? There’s not enough nutrition here to sustain a mouse on a short walk.

 

[MavisBeacon]

But when did Jamie say his recipes were specifically for people on UC?
Of course his recipes aren't for everyone and don't address the fuel/food costs crisis across the board - but that is why there is a thing called choice and people can look to other sources for help.
Jack is being a sneaky little twat here. No wonder most other chefs/food writers won't have anything to do with her.

Didn't you realise? Every single recipe ever had to be aimed at a single mum on £10 a week with nothing more than a microwave and a blender for making slop

 

[Lazarus]

My mum opened a tin of beans once and only found sauce inside when I was a child. I remember she wrote a letter of complaint to Heinz and they apologized by sending us a great big box of Heinz products.

Spaghetti hoops for everyone!

I’m sure I’ve told this tale before, but I bought a cheese and onion pastie from Greggs once and it was empty.
Just pastry.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

Morning Ninnies - I know I’ve been sworn off talking about LJC BUT I think this observation is relevant enough to drag her out from retirement.
So 9 hours ago on IG LJC posted a lovely photo of herself and Steph (of pack lunch and bad business news on wake up to moany on radio 4 then on BBC telly box) celebrating 40 years of channel 4. Two beautiful lesbians glammed up and clearly very happy. Also 9 hours ago Mx Monroe posted her, I’m still standing, better than I’ve ever been, looking like a true survivor… “life beyond our wildest dreams” snogging and here’s a photo of my kebab IG post. If Jack had been out snogging/dating would she not have treated us to a selfie of herself all facetuned to fk glammed up, showing how happy she is with accompanying word salad about her amazing life and love etc etc? For me that post is a reply to LJC…makes you think
View attachment 1700547
Versus
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Louisa genuinely looks like a different person. The miraculous power of escaping the clutches of a succubus narc.

Also isn’t doner a type of meat? That’s just a mixed kebab, surely. There’s chicken in it. (Well done on finding 90% vegan kebab, Jackie).

 

[RinsingHoops]

Still behind but found this interesting thread on Twitter about trust.

I suspect JM is heading towards the Trust Thermocline. A thermocline is where the temperature suddenly drops in a body of water, so it might be slowly getting colder then bang, it’s suddenly freezing cold. It’s a good metaphor for digital media and users. Followers slowly decrease then suddenly they’re gone.

Users will stick to what they know even after they’ve lost trust but will only move once their trust is less than the effort needed to move. And once this happens, like a thermocline there is a huge drop and normally no way back.

I’m explaining this very poorly. This guy does it much better, thread here if you’re interested.




Basically I think JM is coasting along but people are becoming more aware of the grifting, they’re not bothered enough to do anything about it yet but once they’ve made the decision to leave that will be it. No way back. I suspect there will be a large drop off in Patreon numbers soon and she will become effectively yesterday‘s news.

 

[NeoCortex]

Did anyone ever tell Jack that you can buy haricot beans in water rather than tomato sauce right?

 

[binkbonk]

The more I think about it, the more bewildered I feel. Surely she knew this would happen when she cropped the date out of her screenshot. The only reason you'd do it would be if it didn't align with her story.

Maybe I'm getting into tin foil hat territory but what if
1) she actually made the donation ages ago on a reasonable date
2) she purposefully cropped out the date to make it look as shifty as possible
3) squigs "harass" the foodbank (ie. double check when the donation was made)
4) foodbank confirms it was made a while ago
5) jack has proof that she is actually good, it's just nefarious trolls making her look bad, and all the trolls want her DEAD

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I really dislike Allegra. I think she looks like a right gobby, haughty mare. The sort of woman who says stuff like ‘I think you’ll find’ and ‘i have to say I disagree’ and just as the meetings about to finally end ‘can I just say…’

Darling, bit gauche, but all I can think about when Leggy’s pic pops up is

Spoiler: VERY VERY VULGAR INDEED. WARNED.

Jack boasting in that Diva vid about the post-Carbonaraaaa which never fails to put the image in my head of

Spoiler: EVEN VULGAR-ER. Double WARNED.

Jack and Leggy going about the place as some sort of reverse-sized Sooty and Matthew.

Serious warning that this is VERY GRIM INDEED. I blame Anne Widdecombe Mouse Cackling Jack though.

 

[Yel]

What's this economist from the FT doing at the BoE press conference and not our Jack?! Is she too busy chasing up with Asda Exeter after a twitter user notified her that smart price maize snacks are out of stock today?

Any excuse for Chris mate.

 

[Captainmouse]

The only thing she resents spending money on (other than her son) is food. She's good to herself in every other way.

Naah she uses Ocado, deliveroo/just eat etc. we’ve seen the expensive food. She was talking about a particular jam, (can’t remember the flavour) I looked it up, 7-8squid a jar! All those herbs spices, all those dried goods, every type of pasta. The Charlie bighams containers, the gu ramekins. The cheap slop goes in the bin, no way she eats that, it’s all cosplay

 

[jenny2603]

Is this person asking for a months donation or for the whole 2 years she hasn't done anything on Patreon?

I think they cancelled their Patreon after 2-3 months, so it's only about £20-£30 they went back. Jack could pay that easily, she's choosing not to because she's an impotent little shit who gets off on these rather pathetic power trips.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Funnily enough Jack actually was onto something with her costings ages ago, all the rage now, if she was a better presenter and had edible food she could be carving out a good solid career now.

She profited from the pandemic, she was given the biggest opportunity of her life during lockdown. A live daily TV show fgs! Like, she could have really run with that had she not so completely messed it up.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Is cocaine a spice?

Snorty Spice?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Speaking of terrible Xmas recipes, have newer frauen seen the bizarre sparkler pud with angle grinder soundtrack? That was bonkers.

 

[Mr Krabs]

I've mentioned before how totally enraged the 'two fat cloves of garlic' makes me. It's the wannabee-Nigella voice coming through.

When I make her microwave chilli I’m going to use a thin weedy bit of garlic out of pure SPITE.