Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[Valiofthedolls]

View attachment 1703101

WHAT ARE THOOOOSE
But seriously, what are those?

If I had to guess, I’d say they were out of focus print Dr Martens chelsea boots

Spoiler: Something like these

NOT these exact ones, but something in the same style/a different pattern

Either that or they’re her DEAD grandad’s one pair of everlasting immigrant shoes.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Update from patreon squig

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Did anybody see the woman on eBay?
Bidding for a fake fur coat when she's supposed to work
Did anybody see the woman on eBay?
Doesn't mind slacking off cuz her boss is a jerk

I hate to break it to you, Jack: you are not as profound as you like to think

Did you see the girl on the sofa?
You might have called her a loafer
Browsin on tattle
Did you see the girl on the sofa?

I should have done a different thing send rhymoes I am jet lagged

 

[Hollaaa]

Fans of the moon, behold:

 

[Lucky Escape]

Update from patreon squig
View attachment 1703874

That's astonishing. It's been, what, 4 days now? Is she going out of her way to make herself look dreadful?

 

[Mme Coco]

Did anybody see the woman on eBay?
Bidding for a fake fur coat when she's supposed to work
Did anybody see the woman on eBay?
Doesn't mind slacking off cuz her boss is a jerk

I hate to break it to you, Jack: you are not as profound as you like to think

Did anybody see the girl in the kebab shop?
Looking for something that’s not her own slop
Did anybody see the girl in the kebab shop?
Patreon day, she’s got money to drop
Did anybody see the girl in the kebab shop?
Mithering about snogging like a 12 year old child
Did anybody see the girl in the kebab shop?
Titting about, accounts unreconciled

Yeah Jack, deep as a puddle.

 

[WTFDidIJustSee]

My search skills are useless but my memory is not too bad. I think this is the pie she tried to pass off as her own.

duck me that’s taken me back to my pre-child skint days, when I lived off these. I’d eat them with

Spoiler: Warning

Gravy

Am I Jack?!

I’ve mentioned before that my middle child is getting to be rather decent in the kitchen, and how confused she was by Conroe’s recipes, so she won’t do the Slopalong, however, my eldest teen states she is too scared of making horrible looking, horrible tasting food to even try, so I figure if I tell her it’s meant to be both, then maybe she’d have a crack at it with me?!

 

[Grizzlybear]

“Did You See Me On The Telly Last Night”

OMG
Thread title go on, I’m joining the half spitting out/choking on lunch club

 

[Notmycat]

Fake recipe gallery would be fantastic.

Is that just for the finished products?

Quoting myself like a ninnie but I am like Jack, I have no shame

I've spent the last few minutes screenshotting the food photos from her first book so if I label each one as to what it allegedly should look like according to the book.

And then..... what it actually looks like when the canal does it, bearing in mind that the first book especially will have had food stylists and advisors to make it look as good as possible.

Can anyone set up a way to do a fake recipe gallery? Bows to more technical frauds

 

[Emmapism]

I feel for that Patreon squig. As is always the case with Jack......sound and fury signifying nothing.

These aren't the actions of a woman feeling incredibly guilty about what she's doing.

Deeds, not words. Still taking money, still providing nothing.

 

[jenny2603]

I feel for that Patreon squig. As is always the case with Jack......sound and fury signifying nothing.

These aren't the actions of a woman feeling incredibly guilty about what she's doing.

Deeds, not words. Still taking money, still providing nothing.

She's so pathetic, she'll be getting off on the power withholding the refund gives her.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

She's so pathetic, she'll be getting off on the power withholding the refund gives her.

Especially pathetic when we know that particular refund is only £20 + VAT. Good job that squig isn't bothered by her or desperate for the cash. But according to Jack that's a week's shop for a family.

 

[Tabitha D]

Yes, so obvious that despite her ‘oops, I accidentally fell into the spotlight’, Jack’s always been desperate for recognition and fame. Remember all that stuff about SB being impressed she’d met Brian May? That’s why she’s done all the singing and poetry guff, I bet she’s secretly livid that it was cooking cheap tit that ended up being her thing. And didn’t she try out for some singing thing like Britain’s got talent? We should be grateful that didn’t work out, imagine that ego if she’d become a star? Like Elton‘s diva style crossed with Matt Goss’ philosophical musings & Shakin’ Steven’s talent (sorry ss, bit harsh).

I agree, she’s always been desperate for fame, and especially the approval of famous people. It’s kind of embarrassing. You can see it when she’s been photographed with well-known people at awards etc., she’s grinning from ear to ear like she’s utterly deranged. She acted like a love-struck schoolgirl when she interviewed Marcus Rashford, which was pretty unprofessional - no wonder he looked so uncomfortable.
Which makes it all the more interesting that the blue ticks appear to have pulled away. Her sad photo at the Food Hero award thing, the fact that Jay Rayner and Nigel Slater clearly didn’t give permission for their endorsement to be used on the latest book. I really do think it’s over for her. It’s not just Teemill and Patreon, or even her dodgy tax history, it’s everything. And even the blue-ticks can’t unsee it.

 

[LadyGarden]

In relation to that squig asking for advice as she can't afford to eat. The harm she does is just shocking and her fans are seriously out of touch. How is eating 8 meals a day going to help this person if she can't afford lunch? How is recommending Jack's recipes the solution if it's just as inadequate as what this woman can already afford. Jack should be putting her hands up and saying it's impossible then using her platform to campaign for actual change. But instead she enables the tory viewpoints and her own fans parrot it back.

Good afternoon dear hearts.

Muesli Bar Lunch squig works part-time so it's not surprising she doesn't earn much.

20k followers and a buy me a coffee link. Since her tweet (and at the time of me posting this) she has had at least 48 coffees bought for her at £5 each so that went quite well. She's also recently crowfunded £5,145 to pay for her training course as a dyslexia assessor (course cost stated as £4,720).


I'm seriously tempted to join that Slopalong. I was going to go for Feisty Soup as I love noodles and prawns (as per the photo in the Guardian). Then I read the ingredients and there are zero noodles or prawns. What are you playing at, Guardian - absolute arsewipes.

 

[Soup or Noodle]

I had to depart F&D ages ago cos it’s just too much to follow everything. I think I will now be fired as there are 2 Jack threads to follow.

I'm the same with Alice Evans - just couldn't keep up and was getting more depressing than funny. Now I just go to Jack and Mario.

 

[Notmycat]

In my previous post, I just noticed a Freudian error or did I?
Boo I guess

It still works tho

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Did you see the girl on the sofa?
You might have called her a loafer
Browsin on tattle
Did you see the girl on the sofa?

I should have done a different thing send rhymoes I am jet lagged

Keep wanting to sing these to the tune of Losing My Religion

 

[MancBee]

Did anyone see the man on the train?
He was laughing out loud and being a pain.
Did anyone see the man on the train?
He's reading about Jack on Tattle again.

 

[Justhereforthedrama]

Two things that will always make me laugh

1. I have to look under bloggers for the latest thread. Especially given her website in stuck in 2018. But where else would we put her? Certainly not a guru. Or a celebrity. Is there a category for the perpetually useless?

2. The use of WARNED.

Tattle deffo needs a 'Twits' section for Russ in Cheshire and the like

 

[Miss Anne Thrope]

Did you see the girl on the sofa?
You might have called her a loafer
Browsin on tattle
Did you see the girl on the sofa?

I should have done a different thing send rhymoes I am jet lagged

Did anyone see that old woman in Slough,

She made Jackslop for lunch and she’s nauseous right now.

Did anyone see that old woman in Slough.

Praying for loos on the train, they’ll endow!

(Spoiler:- I’m on the GWR from Slough to Paddington )