Jack Monroe #424 She’s as Greek as Prince William

[Observ@h]

Creative Interlude

Spoiler: More Jack Poetry

(technically it’s allegedly a song but as she hasn’t provided the Music, we’ll be treating the Lyrics as a poem. About a girl with a “middle class voice” who bought and owned a lot of shit.

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This is gold. It says so much about Jack. Middle class, self pitying, obsessed with consumer goods so that crying about selling them is the deepest emotion she can imagine, and also baying for attention. Did anybody hear? Did anybody hear?? DID ANYBODY HEAR???

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I just looked at Veganish on Amazon and it turns out there's a photo of her looking gormless in an egg chair. Veganish indeed. A tofu chair if you please.

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This looks like something from the Littlewoods catalogue

 

[WhyYouCry?]

I think it’s partly this and partly the eternal victimhood/sad-fishing by implying all of the food she has is past it’s best.

The thing is, most of us don’t let food get into that state because we genuinely can’t afford to waste it. We meal plan and use it when it’s fresh. Just shows that she buys food she doesn’t need and has no plan for, just for the sake of it.

 

[terfette]

750g of mincemeat is £4.35 on the first result in Google. Probably cheaper elsewhere. I always bought big packs of mince as you can make a few different meals with them whether I was on UC or working.

I don’t understand how these people are still alive if they can’t spend £4 on food. We’d have dead piling up in the street if their stories were reality.

 

[Mme Coco]

Did anybody see the woman on eBay?
Bidding for a fake fur coat when she's supposed to work
Did anybody see the woman on eBay?
Doesn't mind slacking off cuz her boss is a jerk

I hate to break it to you, Jack: you are not as profound as you like to think

Did anybody see the girl in the kebab shop?
Looking for something that’s not her own slop
Did anybody see the girl in the kebab shop?
Patreon day, she’s got money to drop
Did anybody see the girl in the kebab shop?
Mithering about snogging like a 12 year old child
Did anybody see the girl in the kebab shop?
Titting about, accounts unreconciled

Yeah Jack, deep as a puddle.

 

[NellieBoo]

Spoiler: OT Airfryers/Pressure Cookers

I've had an instant pot for about 6 years - I use it several times a week. Really good piece of kitchen kit if you can stretch to the initial cost.

I bought a cheap airfryer years ago when my son started secondary school. Mainly so he could make himself snacks without putting the oven on, forgetting about it and burning down the house. But we used it loads so last Christmas I bought a Ninja dual airfryer. Yes, it is expensive, but we rarely use the main oven now. So if anyone is looking at buying an airfryer I suggest going for the biggest you can afford. You will use it much more than you think!

Where does the idea that people on benefits don't bulk shop/cook come from? Do they think people are trotting off to the post office every Thursday to cash their giro?!

 

[Mrs Peel]

I'm pretty certain Jack's 'school run' involves saying goodbye to Nearly Teenager at the front door. The thing is, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. Why she has to make such a palaver of normal everyday things is beyond me.

 

[skronkywildcat]

Cannot forget the online cooking contest for kids at home to make the "Sticky Brown Poo" that got 1 (ONE) entry. Don't know if it was funded by some charity in Bristol, Aardman or Netflix or a combo of the three but it was a fucking shocker. Pudding also contained nuts so allergy kids ruled out straight away.


Plus it was called a poo.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

But it's deeply associated with gay men. "When people go on about it" sounds suspiciously like not wanting to acknowledge homosexuality to me.

It’s also deeply associated with heterosexual porn where young teenage boys then pressure girls to do it and treat them like they are prudes if they don’t want to do it.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Lots of people who watch cookery programmes, don’t cook! It’s entertainment. DH loves them, can’t cook.
MIL always watched the cooking segments on This Morning, never made anything. Her cooking was in line with Jacks, which is why I can’t bear to join in the slop-a-long.

Do we think Jamie’s kitchen is just in an outbuilding for filming, it’s not his real kitchen is it? See Jack, that’s how you do it.

Spoiler: MILs egg recipe

Mix eggs, a handful of salt, cheese and a large cup of water in a pan. Cook the eggs in the cheesy watery mess. Serve the waterlogged, salty eggs on burnt cold toast, ruining the whole thing. Remember before to drain off the cheesy eggwater into a glass before and drink it

 

[CocoCottesmore]

Two things that will always make me laugh

1. I have to look under bloggers for the latest thread. Especially given her website in stuck in 2018. But where else would we put her? Certainly not a guru. Or a celebrity. Is there a category for the perpetually useless?

2. The use of WARNED.

 

[Penelope_Ghent]

Good afternoon dear hearts.

Muesli Bar Lunch squig works part-time so it's not surprising she doesn't earn much.

20k followers and a buy me a coffee link. Since her tweet (and at the time of me posting this) she has had at least 48 coffees bought for her at £5 each so that went quite well. She's also recently crowfunded £5,145 to pay for her training course as a dyslexia assessor (course cost stated as £4,720).


I'm seriously tempted to join that Slopalong. I was going to go for Feisty Soup as I love noodles and prawns (as per the photo in the Guardian). Then I read the ingredients and there are zero noodles or prawns. What are you playing at, Guardian - absolute arsewipes.


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Said squig has now had over 600 coffees bought for her, so just over £3k worth of donations.
To keep on topic, it’s easy to see why Jack loves twitter so much when you can pull this much in. Think if that’s x10 because your poverty is amplified by numerous blue ticks, hard stares Mom.

 

[Lucy Aeroplane]

[

This is the stuff I want to hear more about, I'd love some local to spill the specifics. I can see why a charity wouldn't, but it would be delicious tea

There’s bullying and manipulation of individuals in the voluntary sector too, but AFAIK they’ve chosen to either put it behind them (for their own sakes, not hers - in one of the tales I was told, she left someone pretty much wrecked after a personal relationship went sour, so it would be fair enough for that person not to want to revisit it all) or they see her flying monkeys and don’t want any of that, thanks. Everyone knows what she is, which is why I was pretty gobsmacked at Southend foodbank squig superficially legitimising her the other week.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Oh my god I thought this was a parody of a song that you wrote and I tried to google the original she's unreal

She’s also a massive spoilsport.

This would be GLORIOUS and would actually be the only one of her books I’d merrily shell out for. Especially if she did an audiobook version.

 

[Thank(space)you]

The liar, the grift and the cotswold. No idea why that phrase popped into my head during my relaxing bath but I needed to get it out somewhere so here you go fraus

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Didn't the whole black eye tale of woe fall under the period of time she eventually admitted to being heavily under the influence in the DIVA. pdf? I think that's where several Frau have decided she was blackout for that particular episode. Either way, horrible for SB.

Yes she had claimed sobriety all through that period, but revealed in Diva.pdf that in fact she had begun drinking again at some point (but autistic, can't lie ) which had lead to her going to the dayhab. As I said, we could mither as to what really happened that day and caused her to fall and then be passed out on the sofa.

Just to add, no judgement regarding the claiming to be sober when not, but don't claim you're autistic and therefore can never tell lies, when you bloody did!

 

[Geetbo]

Puts me in mind of

Hannibal Slopter

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Artistic Interlude Volume 2: Capitalist Boogaloo

Spoiler: More Jack Poetry

Jan 2013.

Truly she has not moved on from these infantile takes that were already utterly toecurling 10-ish years ago. Tell me you’re an insufferable twat while refusing to acknowledge your privilege and making up nonsense. (Truly, I get that it’s mortifying to be called out on stuff from 10 years ago, but look at this article! She hadn’t changed even the tiniest iota)

First They Came For Woolworths, And I Did Not Speak Out: Echo/Gazette Column 22nd Jan.

I was walking down the High Street on Thursday, as I usually do on any given day. The sight of Jessops, lights dim behind shutters down in the middle of the day, and a few shadowy figures packing u...

web.archive.org

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I’m sure it’s been discussed before but newspaper sanitary towels? About as real as Toothpaste For Dinner Man. Talk about a recipe for a chaffed chuff.

Honestly, she’s just exhausting.

I’m so aggravated by this nonsense every time I see it. Fuck off Jack. Your stupid “sixpence” jam story is utter bollocks- in your own words. And stop telling people to sit down, you insufferable cunt.

Jack Monroe #412 Chiz on Tiz

Yeah, I’ve been reading about her volunteering during The Poverty, and found it interesting that despite what she says to the national media in 2013 about quitting the fire service because it’s “inherently wrong to foist your child on someone else” while you work, seems she actually had no such...

tattle.life

PS I hate to call out anyone on their “lewk” but for the love of semifreddo in a béchamel sauce change that profile pic.

Spoiler

You look like you’re desperately waiting for Boycey to leave Marlene for you and give you a used car lot to run.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Jack’s hand action and Leggy’s reaction leads me to believe 99.9 and .7/10ths of a percent% that Jack is Matthew and Leggy is Sooty. Is Leggy on Twitter? We could ask for clarification? Would that be a bit gauche or too gauche of us?

Poor Leggy
Those filthy nails anywhere near your privates would take a fuck ton of cranberry juice to help with that.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Yes but the danger of a memoir is THE CANAL KEEP RECEIPTS!

My LJC, we’d be doing 17 threads a day if she dared actually publish a memoir. The collective hysteria could power the UK for months. Who needs gas when you have ninnies howling.