Jack Monroe #416 Food Hero? LMAO, should be in the dock for crimes against pasta.

[here we go again]

I do believe the Nando black card is the stuff of legend.
Jack can only dream.

It is not. Someone I know was in a relationship with a Nando's black card holder!!!🔺️

 

[StatusWoe]

Like @MooBelle says she can’t decide whether she wants to be seen as a hooray Henry meeja type or Fantine from Les Miz. And consequently trips herself up at every step.

I actually think she'd be much happier if she went full Thatcherite yuppie, i.e. chasing money, self-promotion and connections with no pretence of a selfless motive.

*Okay, maybe not happier, but more honest about her aspirations.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Does anyone remember when Nando’s had the physical stamps? Someone I know bought one off eBay and it was always free chicken day

 

[IcanSpellBéchamel]

Did anyone else watch the most recent ep of The Ranganation? They showed a clip of a woman cooking pasta in a kettle. My mind went straight to this thread haha.

Mine too! And then this afternoon I was googling pasta recipes for one person (whilst I could happily live on spag carbonara [with no bleeping cream, Jack] for the rest of my days, I thought I should at least look at what else might be suggested) and some of the results involved mugs, kettles and microwaves.

I’ve just watched That Man showing how cooking should be done.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Like @MooBelle says she can’t decide whether she wants to be seen as a hooray Henry meeja type or Fantine from Les Miz. And consequently trips herself up at every step.

I was thinking earlier about the combination of all her silly boasting and dramatizing her “200 units a week” and “being scooped off the floor” while fucked off her chump, her twee creative crafts that she can’t wait to show off to gushing fans, her massive overconsumption of…large amounts of dressers, portmeirion crockery and…other white things, her obsession with home ownership, her large collection of decanted prescription pharmaceuticals, her love of The Queen, her edgy/gritty song/poetry writing, and her often-fascinating choice of outfits.

It’s like she’s trying to be some unique and utterly bizarre hybrid of Kirstie Alsopp and (Motley Crue’s) Nikki Sixx. Who fills the niche neither of them do of slopping stewed steak and prunes into pans and calling it food.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Jack's Groucho anecdotes are hilarious. But not in a good way.
Also, we discussed this in many threads in early days and I do believe someone triangled her to getting lifetime membership of Groucho through some award or something.
I only mention that because Jack used to be very fond of boasting about popping in and sampling their black linguine and generally just showing off about her membership like some bleeping braying Hooray Henry about how loaded she was.
Then she remembered she was supposed to be poor and stopped mentioning the Groucho.

I refuse to go there until they assure me that Jack didn’t do their fire regs audit like she implied

 

[Captainmouse]

Let’s face it, every single thing she pretends to be or have is an evil thing to do to the people who love you.

As is her behavior/the vast majority of what she actually does.

She’s basically not a nice person full stop

 

[HotesTilaire]

It is not. Someone I know was in a relationship with a Nando's black card holder!!!🔺️

Stormzy is 72 years old

 

[Mr Krabs]

Dinner is served, ninnies
View attachment 1657446

When you give the dog the leftovers on Christmas Day.

 

[Emmapism]

Jack, I'm on holiday love can you leave me the duck alone please?

Jesus

 

[Captainmouse]

She’s a little “Spring Piggy” … with a sniffly-snuffly oinking ickle snout … 34p a portion Bigella ripoff (I think it’s curdled) View attachment 1657189

calculator malfunction does the big wooden job need new batteries? does anybody read this crap before publication?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Tbf I think the tea spiller meant the 'camisole ' vest top Jack wore under the over sized suit.
Nothing to see here peeps. Just a smol lil pixie writing her acceptance speech destined to be spoken in front of a room full of people that dislike her.
Seriously though, I would pay actual cash money to see video footage of her going up to accept her award that was in no way shape or form fixed for her to win.

Oh no I meant the same thing, sorry! Basically anything sleeveless in October during an energy crisis is madness surely? Can’t remember if the j1g makes u run warm though

 

[jenny2603]

The results are in!

 

[LadyGarden]

Groucho Maverick Award

£10,000, life membership and a sculpture

Jack was a judge in 2018.

Scroll down to 2013 (bypassing the picture of Jack with her tits hanging out of a red and black dress) and Jack was shortlisted but didn't win. Nominees might have been given some form of membership though?

The Groucho Maverick Awards Nomination - Groucho Club

Nominate the most original and creative individual you know to win the most hallowed prize in all of Soho: the Groucho Maverick Award.

www.thegrouchoclub.com

 

[overdueanadventure]

Groucho Maverick Award

£10,000, life membership and a sculpture

Jack was a judge in 2018.

Scroll down to 2013 (bypassing the picture of Jack with her tits hanging out of a red and black dress) and Jack was shortlisted but didn't win. Nominees might have been given some form of membership though?

The Groucho Maverick Awards Nomination - Groucho Club

Nominate the most original and creative individual you know to win the most hallowed prize in all of Soho: the Groucho Maverick Award.

www.thegrouchoclub.com

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Who or what is Supertanskii, pray? I would Google it, but... I fear I might sully my search history.

Is it like a rear foofoo?

 

[Captainmouse]

Yes. I know this will come as a shock but it is a lie.
Much evidence of it being a lie, I think some is in the Wiki. The bit that sticks out for me is that I too have a heart condition. Jack also claims she has an epipen for allergies, although these allergies have miraculously cleared up as she seems to quite happily eat tomatoes these days.
I too have allergies and thankfully don't need an epipen. My doctor said that even if I did need one I wouldn't be prescribed one as if you have a heart condition you could go into cardiac arrest. So she's lying about either or both conditions.
As always there may be a grain of truth in what she said. Imo, she had an incident when her heart went 'tachy' which basically means her heart was racing. Usually caused by shock or a virus or if you're off of your tits on coke.
We'll never know.

And yet her epipen is often 'upstairs somewhere'

 

[Mr Krabs]

Groucho Maverick Award

£10,000, life membership and a sculpture

Jack was a judge in 2018.

Scroll down to 2013 (bypassing the picture of Jack with her tits hanging out of a red and black dress) and Jack was shortlisted but didn't win. Nominees might have been given some form of membership though?

The Groucho Maverick Awards Nomination - Groucho Club

Nominate the most original and creative individual you know to win the most hallowed prize in all of Soho: the Groucho Maverick Award.

www.thegrouchoclub.com

What in the Debenhams blue cross sale is that dress?

(I know it’s probably some designer thing but it looks like something a wine aunt would wear to what she calls her ‘sexy 60th’)

 

[BurgerLaBill]

Tricksy Trixie the Smol Griftin' Pixie

I actually think she'd be much happier if she went full Thatcherite yuppie, i.e. chasing money, self-promotion and connections with no pretence of a selfless motive.

*Okay, maybe not happier, but more honest about her aspirations.

Amen to this. She's classic 1980's Tory underneath all the layers of cosplay veneer. Like Harry Enfield's Loadsamoney character but tarted up for Guardian readers.

 

[HotesTilaire]

What in the Debenhams blue cross sale is that dress?

(I know it’s probably some designer thing but it looks like something a wine aunt would wear to what she calls her ‘sexy 60th’)

What in the “bought straight off the peg, wrong time of the month” is that bra?