Jack Monroe #413 The flying monkeys are more like limping chimpanzees these days

[Jelly Bean]

And yet she has gone quiet and she has gone away.

Really makes you think.

 

[Orphan_Black]

He also doesn’t claim to have removed his lightbulbs whilst buying a designer dog , or stating he can’t Afford butter, he also doesn’t constantly rattle his tip jar

Imagine if Jack never published HH2? She'd still be merrily grifting away, with her army of flying monkeys, getting her telly gigs and carrying on being a horrible con merchant.

It was too much a bunch of lies and it tipped her balance to what we've got today. Thank fuck she wrote that shitty thing.

 

[FrankReagan]

My mum is almost 70, has never been on twitter in her life, has only recently learned to read the newspaper on her iPad and only knows of Jack through Guardian articles, and adamantly refuses to believe she's a grifter even after I've explained that people have used her own words to show her contradicting herself. (Admittedly I didn't do a very good job explaining because I didn't want to admit that I'm a maniac who's been over-invested in this for the last six months.) As far as she's concerned Jack writes some good anti-Tory stuff and gets columns in a proper newspaper, i.e. not the S*n or Daily Mail, so 'how do you know it's not those people on the Internet who are making things up rather than her?'

It's a frustrating response when you've seen all the evidence like us, but... from her perspective, it's a fair question. To her Jack's not a narcissistic Z-list blogger-turned-raging twitter addict, she's a freelance columnist writing for a respected national broadsheet and a recipe writer who gets her trad-published cookbooks promoted in the same paper. Naturally, she's going to assume the professionals involved here have done the bare minimum of due diligence and not let her spout a load of factually incorrect bollocks (and shit recipes) without checking any of it. Next to that, and without further context, an anonymous Twitter account trawling back through things Jack said many years ago to find contradictions looks pretty weak and possibly a bit deranged. A lot of people just don't live in the world of internet drama and have no idea that this kind of grifting and being exposed is so commonplace, except for the odd high profile case where someone makes the national news for getting on breakfast TV by pretending to have terminal cancer or something, so trying to explain that people are this invested in looking for inaccuracies in her story does feed into the whole 'obsessive creeps are stalking me for politically motivated reasons' narrative.

Luckily my mum is also not the sort of person to give money to any cause unless it's a well-known charity, so in this case no harm done, but I really think the Guardian and other professional media that platform her have a lot of culpability in letting things get as far as they have. It can't have done Jack any good in the long run either - she'd probably have stayed a relatively minor figure without all their 'help', and the eventual fallout if it ever came would have been much more contained.

Some ladies I know, older than your Mum, massively turned against Jack after DKL. Apparently her rudeness to Sir Matt OF and insistence that bottled lemon juice was superior to fresh was the talk of the (then virtual) WI. The group chats were aghast. They then shared the Cameron story and of course they all love That Man - so Jack better not so much as hum Jerusalem or she’ll really know the wrath of many feisty home-county Octogenarians…

 

[moldwarp]

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This woman is just ridiculous! Flip flopping amongst different career choices, proudly announcing them to the world, then never following through.

Pretty patronising is her implication that teaching is a nice cosy little job that can be fitted around single motherhood jUsT lIkE cRaFtInG! Yes Jack single mothers do teach but it’s one of the most difficult jobs in the world. You don’t finish when the school day finishes. You’re up until late marking and prepping. Plus, teaching requires empathy, perceptiveness and the ability to centre someone other than yourself. Er I don’t think it would’ve been for you love.

Plus, interesting line there about “I rebelled as a schoolgirl in a quiet bookish way”. I thought you smoked, drank, acted out and stole scalpels and took a knife to school, Jack. Vair quiet, much bookish.

This woman is a fraud, a flibbertigibbert and totally unreliable, no backbone or moral compass whatsoever.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Oh no. And the person who drew it paints with her mouth. I feel rotten now. Sorry.

I've not caught up yet, but don't feel bad. and you can only take my word for this because I have no proof but I actually know this person quite well, at the height of the mouth painting phase as well, and she's perfectly capable of drawing and painting with her hands. She's a bit of a munchie.

I can prove to mods if needed but only if there's an option to do so privately.

 

[moldwarp]

I’m aware that this piece is absolutely awash with bollocks. Something caught my eye…

In all my years of driving, knowing literally hundreds of other drivers, having accidents, experiencing a hit & run and vandalism etc etc etc I have NEVER known of ‘the shame of driving around in a car that someone has keyed an insult on’. WHAT? Who is doing that? I might have seen it on TV years ago but a spray can is much quicker and easier. Weird. Does it happen in Elevenerife?

Also, it takes bloody ages to key "You shoulda kept ya legs shut" on the side of a crappy vauxhall vectra

 

[moldwarp]

I have a ye olde from yore for that too…as always apols for typos- typing on my

(Spoiler, talk of eating, weight loss)

Spoiler

August 2013. So by this time, has the weekly Guardian column, book has been commissioned, Fortnum&Mason award etc, so there’s no subsequent decline into ‘the jutting collarbones of poverty’. She writes this
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Link: https://web.archive.org/web/2013080...yoghurt-make-me-a-rubbish-cook-apparently-so/

Oh and PS given that she blogs every single time she farts, I am also able to categorically tell you that this is a lie

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She did not do ‘11 days of the live below the line challenge’; in April she planned to do five days,
View attachment 1640182and she decided to do it again later in May when she did 7.
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Oh, and even if the length of days wasn’t bollox? Her ‘after the 11 day challenge appearance on BBC breakfast’? That’s utter bullshit too. She was on BBC breakfast the day BEFORE the first pov challenge started. Not after either of them. Posted as evidence by her, timestamped, with a helpful pic! No wonder she deleted so much of this.
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Also back in August 2013 “No health problems”

Spoiler: ED trigger but I need a rant

She just loves ana-baiting this one. I don't believe she was ever clinically ana as weight-restored and/or recovered ana's don't tend to bait this way. She's never looked scarily thin. No one drops enough weight in 11 days to go from 22 BMI to 'something unprintable'. She's so despertae to be a frail thin sick ickle girl. I bet that NO ONE has ever written to the BBC to raise the alarm about her weight. Although I bet she wishes they had. Wannarexic thru & thru. GRRRRRRRR.

Jack is dreadful and I do not like her very much at all.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

It’s virtually impossible to ‘make money’ from crafting. It’s supply hungry and time consuming. Then if you didn’t develop the pattern you’re not usually supposed to sell the item. Craft mags etc have copyright free patterns but then you’re making something anyone following the pattern could make. The only reason to pay you is because they want the thing desperately but don’t want to make it. In that instance most people will just go to a shop.
In order to make anything from art (unless you break through and be Emin) you have to do one thing really well and wear many chapeau in order to promote it and you. Workshops, teaching, making work, commissions, entering competitions, applying for arts funding, bid writing and the bank-breaking business of exhibiting at a craft show. Oh and galleries and gift shops will take up to 55% of your sale once you’ve paid all your insurances and expenses and tax if you make enough to pay any.
My degree was fine art but I struggled to finance my work (i did have a family and a job so they were priority) Even selling through gift shops at art galleries/museums brings you in hardly anything once you’ve provided all the display, packaging and the retailer has taken their cut. I was devastated for ages and felt like I’d wasted my chance at a better career. Went down loads of roads to stay in the creative industry but actually my job now in a social care setting allows me to use all my creativity and I just make work i want to for the heck of it and for family/friends/me. I do sell stuff occasionally but it’s mostly to commission so there’s no financial risk. I’m sure all of this was pointed out to her on FB at the time as it’s the age old thing.
I once costed a pair of hand-knitted slipper boots to make-fair isle type pattern in 7 colours. One colour was used so sparingly it was ridiculous. £8.99 a 50g ball. I think it was 12 balls plus I needed new needles in a size I didn’t have, plus the sheepskin sole and inner and strong thread for attaching. I think it came out at about £115.00 for yarn and bits. Now imagine I want paying for my time. Maybe 7 hours of solid knitting per slipper sock, maybe more with the fair isle. I want £20 per hour because that is skillz. That’s £280. £395 for a pair of jankily made slipper boots you can’t wash? I haven’t factored in packaging to send them or any marketing materials so you can see how a ‘turning your hobby into a side hustle’ could get complicated!

 

[Dogmuck]

Sorry but I HAVE to address this #forensic
New image:
Forehead to eyebrow remains the same
She’s lost a centimetre in length off her eyebrow to bottom of nose
She’s GAINED 4cm from end of nose to chin
Chinners?

 

[MooBelle]

Everything is retconned isn't it? All to be reused in the hope that people have short memories.

She's got form for claiming she doesn't have white goods then we see pictures of said goods.

Absolute fucking maniac.

My absolute favourite.
Saying she doesn't own a toaster whilst being pictured in front of her toaster. Which has 'toaster' written on it.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

 

[sioc]

I think it's the skeleton's thigh bone coming out of the arse it shouldn't have? But there's no socket/joint?? Truly terrible and the type of thing you get on your thigh to avoid awkward questions from your nan.

Found this online (god help my search history) and am going to get it made into a full sleeve in time for the hearing.

 

[veronica71]

Schrodingers Jack…. You want her to start posting again for the chaos and as soon as she does you want her to fuck off again

 

[Phillipa78]

Oh no, she's MUCH better now.

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I read this as she'd gone for a piss and a sandwich!!

 

[HotesTilaire]

Lads I’m grunting but something is grating my mushrooms.

Spoiler: Rant re £x per week shop

I don’t know how I keep pressing lines. Soz.
£x per week on food is a red herring and people need to stop giving it life. People get paid monthly, even people on UC. A monthly budget for food is a different thing than “x per week”. It needs to fuck off.
Also, poor people are poor every week of the year. X per week, every week for 5 years, is a very different proposition than some middle class larper or click bait headline would have us believe. It’s shit. They should be worried about the lack of money, not how to make a meal for £1 per head or whatever

 

[Anglesx]

Not the Charity Commission, as they only regulate charities. The Fundraising Regulator might be somewhere to start or Action Fraud. But The Fundraising Regulator ask that you contact the organisation or fundraiser first.

I have previously contacted the fundraising regulator about Jack's Teemill endeavour:


Your complaint about Jack Monroe
Thank you for getting in touch with the Fundraising Regulator.
We have looked at your concerns and for the reasons explained in this email your complaint is outside of our remit.


Our role and remit
Our remit is such that we can only consider complaints about charitable fundraising by registered charities, fundraising organisations, professional fundraisers or other incorporated entities or bodies where the fundraising is on behalf of a charity or charitable organisation. Individuals, organisations, and companies are free to fundraise in aid of charities or charitable causes, providing that they do not claim to be registered charities, or that they are fundraising at the charity’s behest when they are not.

We understand that Jack Monroe had previously raised money via the sale of t shirts online and had said on this website that the funds were to be donated to a named charity. However, that charity has confirmed that this was not on its behalf, and it was agreed by Jack Monroe that she would no longer fundraise in aid of the charity in this manner. Since then, the website in question now states that any money raised will go to charities – but with none specified.

Independent charitable giving by individuals is usually what is described in the code as ‘in aid of’ fundraising. This means that it is done as an act of giving by the individual, and not officially on behalf of or at the behest of a charity or regulated fundraising organisation. As such, there is usually no responsible regulated charity or organisation we can then consider a complaint against for possible breaches of the code. As there was no formal fundraising agreement between Jack Monroe and any charities to date in relation to the abovementioned t shirt sales, any complaint about it falls outside of our scope to consider.


Next steps
If you are still concerned about the transparency and the charitable claims of the online sales by Jack Monroe, you may wish to raise the matter with Trading Standards. This is because Trading Standards is the relevant body for considering concerns about consumer transactions and businesses and traders making false or misleading claims.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

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2012: Tears, And Fears And Feeling Proud...

As the year draws to a close, and I've put my sewing down for the night, I find myself reflecting on 2012. 2012 is the year I refer to as my annus horribilis; after leaving a well paid job and find...

web.archive.org

I know other fraus discovered this long before me, but I swear, that early blog is a fucking goldmine.

Quoting myself like a nob because even though I’m just angry and horrified at her this morning, I thought I’d add a little levity. This opening sentence of her NYE 2012 blog post has me howling (recall also she’s still sitting in the cold with no heating and in the gloom of half-lightbulbs gone)

All it succeeds in doing is me picturing her as Anne Eliot’s poor friend Mrs Smith in Persuasion who had to take in needlework to make ends meet.

For those unfamiliar

 

[sioc]

Those happy dog photos ended up causing a chaos of their own squig, I wouldn't bring it up if I were you

 

[Helena Handbasket]

I’ve known so many people who go to such lengths to provide a decent standard of living for their family. When you work Jack styled ‘crappy’ jobs you meet incredibly hard-working people - the hourly rate is low, the only solution is more hours.
Example: A woman I once worked with had already been and done morning cleaning at a school and done her own school run by 9.30am start at our place. She left at 3.00 to collect her child and wait to swap with her husband at 6.00. She’d then go and evening clean local offices until 9pm. 5 days a week and then a full weekend day at our place. She did that for years and I think of people like her when I read Jack’s pathetic mimblings and would love to put her with them for a day.

 

[Lucky Escape]

She's posting.

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Er, Jack... using threats of unjustified legal action to intimidate people isn't going to play particularly well if it ever comes up in court. Have you actually taken legal advice?