Jack Monroe #411 More flounces than an 80s wedding dress.

[Valiofthedolls]

I’ve had a massive work chaos today, but it’s somehow put me in a fuge state and given me an awakening.

Floppy hair? National TV? Ballet? Photography?, Tattoos? Being lauded and fussed over by billions?! I see what she’s been chasing all these years.

Spoiler: The Story of Our Jack

To be clear, that is an absolute banger and shouldn’t even be breathed in the same millennium as the Grifftalo, but I think I see where she got the genesis of the idea

 

[Fraggle]

Always grunking, but seeing the Princess of Slop gently, softly returning to Twitter then off again, I could not resist this. Apologies to anyone offended by the language.

Edit due to wine malfunction

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

This was me with the rainbow bookcase slander the other night

Rainbow bookcases are pretty terrible, pal.
That being said, I am an all inclusive Frau and have a copy of Veganish I'll ping you over for your turquoise section.

 

[elepal]

Always grunking, but seeing the Princess of Slop gently, softly returning to Twitter then off again, I could not resist this. Apologies to anyone offended by the language. View attachment 1626754

Edit due to wine malfunction

Jack, if you're reading this, CTFIOFTFO x

 

[House of Carbonara]

The EF Benson chat today has given me life! Had an interview this morning for a marginally less stressful job and they said I’d get a call before 5pm and nobody called. Since I fell happily into this canal, every time someone has said ‘tender one’ I think immediately of Tilling and it makes me laugh. So glad to know that other Fraus are taking their performative shopping baskets to Twistevents (sp?) You all make me soooo happy

ETA TwisteVANTS and just had a tiny owl champagne remembering Lucia having to buy veg grown in the garden of Mallards that time she rented it from Mapp. Apologies to mods but if you haven’t read these books you really should, tender ones.

Lucia for ever!
Also, cannot stop imagining Quaint Irene going 'MONROE!' while ringing the bell.

 

[jenny2603]

The popular search options are still TRYING TO MURDER the people's urchin. Oh dear.

 

[I steal names]

Mate, the bullying and trolling on here tonight, in this little hellsite corner of the internet, has literally been EXHAUSTING.

I'm sat in my midl lidl oodie, fleece lined Crocs (GIFTED) and my head torch (the solar light bulbs aren't doing much) and my MH is suffering, I can tell you.

I'd have a Joules Kag on too but I'm far too rock and roll for that shizzle....they're for proper losers

I am feeling personally attacked at the mentions of Crocs () etc going on tonight. Also questioning life choices, but that's by the by. Losers unite!

 

[House of Carbonara]

I would honestly love a pair of fleece lined crocs. No, I am not a cool mum. But yes, I will be a comfy mum. (But also crocs ARE cool and duck off anyone who says otherwise).

I live in mine when it's cold. No, I am not cool.

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

I live in mine when it's cold. No, I am not cool.

Also good when it's hot....no sweaty soles...all soaks in to fleece.
And you can bung em in a curry the washer with some shampoo and TA DAAA, as good as new.

 

[House of Carbonara]

Does an Oodie type mega fleece ( thinking of buying one) kill any coolness?

Likely, but who cares. I hate being cold. (I have one, obvs ).

 

[Helena Handbasket]

I live in mine when it's cold. No, I am not cool.

If there’s one thing working with our older generation has taught me it’s that the coolest amongst us wear and do exactly what they like. Some of my clients are absolutely amazing and they have taught me to be much more ‘myself’ in lots of ways.
They would definitely think Jack was trying to teach them how to suck eggs if I showed some of her recipes to them! Oh I’m so tempted to collect remarks now! There’s definitely some potential fraus amongst them!

 

[daisymay30]

Apols if this has been shared already (I’m on a grunk as my full-time job got in the way today) but I’ve just noticed that AM’s following the parody account

 

[Mr Krabs]

Does an Oodie type mega fleece ( thinking of buying one) kill any coolness?

Jack would approve. After all, when you’re so poor you use garden lights, you can’t possibly afford to heat a big three bed bungalow. Hopefully princess povo will be giving us some handy tips to keep warm without putting the heating on. Any day now.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

Jack would approve. After all, when you’re so poor you use garden lights, you can’t possibly afford to heat a big three bed bungalow. Hopefully princess povo will be giving us some handy tips to keep warm without putting the heating on. Any day now.

Has she ever given out a single useful tip?

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Imagining Jack going all ‘bubbly’s in the fridge’ (if you know you know) because the MEAN BULLIES will not let her have one nice thing (other than the grifted thousands, her lovely patient son & family, the huge detached house by the sea and an inexplicable plethora of low effort job opportunities).

Also: head, shoulders chiz on tiz. As you were.

Ah, dandruff shampoo is an excellent cheap alternative to squeezy big brand mayo, if you have some to hand. People CAN'T AFFORD head&shoulders though, you callous swine- try superdrug own brand, trussell have recently had a big donation of it from a mystery benefactor.

 

[Lazarus]

Hello fraus. I’ve been away for a week or so. I’m on the other side of the earth for another week and found a quick 15m and some wifi to have a wee nosey.
Just a quick question, seeing as I don’t have time to grunk: how’s Jack’s 2 ICU pals getting on?

 

[shugabug23]

Random thought, but I’m grunking from the start whilst she’s off Twitter…

Currently on thread 9. You know when you read the Side Bar Of Shame and z-listers are ridiculed for the thot shots from hospital and vague references to worst illness EVER!

We’ve never, ever; with her endless roulette of ailments, seen a rogue patient bracelet. Nor a thirsty hand selfie with a cannula. Or a vague fluffy socks at the end of the bed shot. (I may follow too many reality stars on Insta) For a smol, ailment abundant pixie she either doesn’t understand that being poorly is a z-list palooza (think Louisa Thompson atm) or shock horror she isn’t as ailment abundant as she makes out.

Really makes you think x

 

[Helena Handbasket]

Ah, dandruff shampoo is an excellent cheap alternative to squeezy big brand mayo, if you have some to hand.

and I don’t know why but the BIB made me owl champagne and now poor Harold Handbasket is cross. I might actually get thrown out of my own bedroom.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jack Monroe #410 If you don’t give me money, the kid gets rickets

Looks like she managed to like this tweet from a blue tick account today: Separate smol thought in my brain: I'm so bored of the 'lives rent free in your head' trope. Everything and everyone that pops into anyone's head does so "rent free". I'm being a bit literal there just like our Jackie...

tattle.life

i can’t quote across threads but
Slopadder Presents: Slopadder Two The Sequel (do not put on y’all’s 3D glasses)

One Head to rule them all, one Head to find them, One Head to bring them all, and in the darkness (of manipulative Patreon and PayPal) bind them.

Spoiler

Spoiler: PS

Smol BOO!!!

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Jack would approve. After all, when you’re so poor you use garden lights, you can’t possibly afford to heat a big three bed bungalow. Hopefully princess povo will be giving us some handy tips to keep warm without putting the heating on. Any day now.

1)log in to twitter
2) sit back and enjoy the gentle background roasting