Jack Monroe #402 Which police squad will be tasked to investigate Jack being signed up to a mailing list?

[Mr Krabs]

So that photoshoot with the fake hair and the 2002 vintage bandana was a big old waste of everyone’s time? Shocked.

 

[HodgeSplodge]

I can't wait for the thrifty, money saving tips too. Wonder if Martin Lewis has had any input and if so, will he be credited?

She's probably plagiarised all her tips from the Moneysavingexpert website and forums

 

[FeelingGroovy]

Can't believe there's going to be another sanctimonious tome to assuage middle class guilt cookbook.

Y'know the thing about a shark, he's got... lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eyes. When he comes at ya, doesn't seem to be livin'... until he bites ya.


<insert Robert Shaw in Jaws gif>

 

[House of Carbonara]

I was so disappointed with Tin Can Cook, I have low energy, sometimes functioning better than other. I use grocery delivery services but found myself wasting stuff. I started ordering more tinned goods to aleviate waste. I managed to enhance such goods and thought TCC would give me fresh ideas, how wrong could I be...

I am no culinary genius but I could turn a can of minced beef and onion into a Bolognese and a Chilli.

Spoiler: Bolognese and Chilli cheat

Take a can of minced beef and onions, put in a microwavable pot, I used a Systema noodle bowl. Add a couple of teaspoons of garlic puree, a teaspoon of oregano, a table spoon of tomato puree and a glug of red wine (optional). Stir well and microwave on full for 5 mins. Serve a third to a half on pasta for 1 serving. Chilli, take the leftovers of the Bolognese, add half to one tsp of cumin, half a tsp of chilli flakes and half a can of drained kidney beans, stir well, put in a microwaveable dish and cook on full heatbfor 5 mins. Great on a baked potato, rice and if you have them in your fridge, add jalapenos, cheese and sour cream. I repeat I am no culinary genius but Jack's incompetence is truly stunning

That's quite clever! It's the type of hack that would be *actually* helpful.

 

[DrtCrl]

I’ll wait until it turns up in my local charity shop - so about 10th January.

I cannot fathom why it’s being released in that publishing wasteland that is a fortnight after Christmas - missing the “help what can I buy auntie Madge for Christmas”, missing the “I got a WHSmith voucher, what can I buy in the Boxing Day sales”, and missing the “new year new start” markets.

Purely conjecture M’Lud but would this not provide an oven-ready excuse for any poor sales figures of said book?!

 

[LavaFlake]

That bean monstrosity on the front? Unfortunately I recognise it... It's a recipe she had on her website. I know because I foolishly tried to make it (this is pre-Tattle when I was a simping squig). I think this was 2019. Reader, it is absolutely foul! It's one of the few times in my life I've actually had to throw food out. It uses stuffing as a thickening agent (sorry @MancBee). It also has courgette in it so it's a soggy claggy nightmare.

It conveniently got wiped from the website when she lost 3 years of content but it does live on as a picture on Pinterest and in a FB post. She really is a lazy cow. I wonder if the book will mostly be recipes she already had on her website which got wiped?

It looks vile. I don't know what possessed 2019 Lava to make it but I was a squig so perhaps it was the worms in my head acting as brains.

Also found in the FB comments. Nothing changes.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

I feel like I've seen the Nigela quote before. Like quite some years ago. So who knows when Rayner and others have said something positive about jack's work. Could even be from the Allegra days.

I am not a publishing Frau, but I always feel they can be quite creative with using quotes and blurbs.

(As for the front, I hope it's a placeholder for something better)

I thought the same about the Nigella quote, just had a look and it's recycled from GFFBD.

 

[Marj24]

That's quite clever! It's the type of hack that would be *actually* helpful.

How did this fraud ever get published? I only have Tin Can Cook (I'm a sucker for a 99p kindle deal) but my God it is awful

 

[Geetbo]

I can't comprehend why you would release a cookbook on the 5th January? Surely the vast majority of cookbook sales are in December?

And I saw on my mega grunk that her last book only sold 3k copies? Are her publishers insane?

 

[bladiesla]

She's probably plagiarised all her tips from the Moneysavingexpert website and forums

Also, since the 2008 crunch I have seen every money saving tip recycled once every few months in all kinds of media. Nothing will be new. At all.

Our cost of living crisis, after a decade of austerity measures, will not be solved through twee frugality tips. By al means, make your washing powder last longer by using a bit less than advised on the box and don't overfill your kettle. But the problem at the moment is that incomes are just too low for the basic living costs (housing, groceries and utilities).

This is not a problem individual households can solve through rinsing some tinned beans.

 

[Captainmouse]

Also, every photo I've ever seen of JM... she's got this cold, dead eyed look. Doesn't matter what facial expression she's pulling. Her eyes, man...it's like she's fixed on something. Your wallet? Your soul? Your identity? All three? Can't quite put my finger on it.

Shark eyes

 

[SendReceive]

I thought the same about the Nigella quote, just had a look and it's recycled from GFFBD.

Thrifty home Jack hack #2215: Don’t waste time and effort on new compliments, simply dust a really old one off and hope that no-one notices! Womp!

 

[Cantthinkofausername]

I think she stole the idea of using stuffing mix from the MSE forums, it's used as a base for vegetarian sausages, nutroasts, etc. It' works because stuffing mix is basically breadcrumbs with a bit of onion and herbs to add flavour. I don't know why she uses it in soup and stews though, flour is cheaper.

 

[LavaFlake]

I think she stole the idea of using stuffing mix from the MSE forums, it's used as a base for vegetarian sausages, nutroasts, etc. It' works because stuffing mix is basically breadcrumbs with a bit of onion and herbs to add flavour. I don't know why she uses it in soup and stews though, flour is cheaper.

Yes I can imagine if you were roasting some veg and maybe potatoes and scattered some stuffing mix in the tray it would be lovely. But Christ in a soup just use a couple of potatoes or flour lol.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Thrifty home Jack hack #2215: Don’t waste time and effort on new compliments, simply dust a really old one off and hope that no-one notices! Womp!

I'm now wondering if the other compliments have been dusted off from somewhere

 

[Jemadah]

View attachment 1598833

I just can't imagine what sort of a person looks at that photo on the right and think "that's a brilliant one to post - I look great!" I don't agree with bashing people's looks, but there are plenty of photos of her when she looks ok, so it's clearly the over-filtering that's done the dirty on her this time - so what on earth does she see when she looks at that pic, because she doesn't even look human and it's nothing short of terrifying!

I think Jack, who is usually so vain posted that picture where she looked frail and unwell for sympathy.

I don't think she looks frail and unwell, just filtered to (rude word).

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Bridgeton Jack? Jane Austen Jack? View attachment 1597844

 

[PoorPatrol]

That bean monstrosity on the front? Unfortunately I recognise it... It's a recipe she had on her website. I know because I foolishly tried to make it (this is pre-Tattle when I was a simping squig). I think this was 2019. Reader, it is absolutely foul! It's one of the few times in my life I've actually had to throw food out. It uses stuffing as a thickening agent (sorry @MancBee). It also has courgette in it so it's a soggy claggy nightmare.

It conveniently got wiped from the website when she lost 3 years of content but it does live on as a picture on Pinterest and in a FB post. She really is a lazy cow. I wonder if the book will mostly be recipes she already had on her website which got wiped?

It looks vile. I don't know what possessed 2019 Lava to make it but I was a squig so perhaps it was the worms in my head acting as brains.

View attachment 1598962

Also found in the FB comments. Nothing changes.

View attachment 1598963

I knew I’d seen those “brand new” cover recipes before. The bone dry brick cake is surely her manky tinned pear atrocity, no? Perhaps one of the 3 home economists (on speed dial) managed to get the pear to not sink to the bottom along with our hope for a decent cake.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

FRAU I FOUND IT.

So the front cover, I recognised that hair from somewhere.

As I'd thought, this image was used to promote the NHS (but not NHS) talk she did earlier this month. It's a different photo but I wonder if it's from the same shoot. I bet it's her author photo. We were puzzled at the time because we didn't know where I came from.

Not exactly enthralling but it was bugging me.

 

[House of Carbonara]

That bean monstrosity on the front? Unfortunately I recognise it... It's a recipe she had on her website. I know because I foolishly tried to make it (this is pre-Tattle when I was a simping squig). I think this was 2019. Reader, it is absolutely foul! It's one of the few times in my life I've actually had to throw food out. It uses stuffing as a thickening agent (sorry @MancBee). It also has courgette in it so it's a soggy claggy nightmare.

It conveniently got wiped from the website when she lost 3 years of content but it does live on as a picture on Pinterest and in a FB post. She really is a lazy cow. I wonder if the book will mostly be recipes she already had on her website which got wiped?

It looks vile. I don't know what possessed 2019 Lava to make it but I was a squig so perhaps it was the worms in my head acting as brains.

View attachment 1598962

Also found in the FB comments. Nothing changes.

View attachment 1598963

Right, confession time : I tried making one of her recipes, I think it was the salmon paste pasta, even went looking for the paste thing. Surprise surprise, it was tasteless and a waste of ingredients. What possessed me I don't know, since I can actually cook. Most of her food looks like something you'd fling together in a pan coming home after a heavy night in the pub.