Jack Monroe #398 A subscription to JackazonPrime+

[Hold my beans]

SB definitely not there because you simply don’t need to put secondary school lads to bed.

Not before 9pm on a non-school night.

 

[FrankReagan]

I was bored for ten minutes this afternoon so I designed some t-shirts. Available to nefarious ninnies for just £49.99 / $89.99 / 100 eur (sorry, don't know current exchange rate in as much as I'm too lazy to check). Cheap as chips, really.

Was thinking of a limited release for PARTY TIME in THREAD 400 (which could be any second now the way Monroe is acting!).

~ If you really do have a life, Jack Monroe, why not go live it? Because making a complete arse of yourself on Twatter definitely ISN'T living your best one, nor is it "socking it" to Borbora et al, who - rest assured - won't give a shit about you. IYKWIM. Go well, pal. ~

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Wondrous! I’ll have a Nefarious Ninny #proud t-shirt please. Put it on the tab I’ve opened with @MoistenedGussets for the tote bag.

Might have forgotten to mention to MG that I’ve opened a tab, oops. Aren’t I adorable. That’s #jackonomics x

 

[Nonah]

WHHHHYYYYY? Why does she retweet her own tweets? I don't know anyone who does that unless it's say for a missing person.

This has given me the giggles

 

[Candytuft]

Predatory as fuck. Feel like I need a shower after reading this.

Yup. She's turning into one of those. The yucky types everyone knows about and can't be trusted. I don't think she's ever been on the lesbian scene.

 

[Just Lou]

And here we have the classic Jackism, shit I fucked up with my tweets, let’s distract the plebs with doggos. And also highlight that I ignore the respect of my parents house rules.

I thought she was going to bed/couch to watch BCS and putting her phone in another room?

 

[Just Lou]

I often think about the contents of Space Squig's box.

Oh yes! Did we ever find out what was in the box?

 

[Just Lou]

I’m sure it’s been said already, but she changed his name without his dad knowing about it.

What?! I didn't think that was possible for one and by her own admission he's a good dad and all round good bloke so why the fuck would you do that?!

 

[FrankReagan]

Leaping right ahead to ask where the confused emoji is, because I swear by God and Sonny Jayzus I do not know what this squig means. I think I feel insulted for Scottish Highlanders?

It’s ok, he’s the Mel Gibson version x

(I’m adding Steve Arnott to celeb squad. He can do his real Scottish accent)

 

[theartofgrift72]

she gets off on the attention so much I’m worried we might have been in her pumble by proxy and contribute to her burger time. Will we get cakes?

 

[hooplifehero]

I guarantee she is not indeed putting the phone in another room.

i can believe she is putting the other phone in that room.

 

[jenny2603]

The more Jack types 'lol', the more I am certain she is not, in fact, laughing at all, out loud or otherwise.

I'm getting very strong lost bobble face vibes.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

She intentionally uses 'they' as a way of keeping her 'queer' kudos intact while practising bisexuality/ heteronormative relationships. Because she's embarrassed to be seen as 'vanilla'.

Despite her being so vanilla she was discontinued about ten years ago.

 

[Lumpyspaceprincess]

Deleted

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But she can do her super sleuthing and track him down surely?

 

[Mrs Peel]

Oh dear. The awakening continues. Good to see some people with integrity in the comments club.

I just had a look at their twitter bio. Interesting on a couple of counts.

 

[mackjonroe]

“I’m not sure if this is about me or the Queen…”

Well OF FUCKING COURSE it must be about you, you idiotic twat, it’s not like anyone’s thinking of HMQ now, is it.

Ps. How long ago did you tweet ‘night?’

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What the actual fuck.

 

[Cantthinkofausername]

What in the Georgia church suppers is milky macaroni pudding? That has to be a troll

Nah it's real. Apparently it's a British recipe. Like rice pudding but with macaroni.

 

[Bugger13]

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Aren’t they saying the backlash from Jack is the bad thing here?

 

[matchakitkat]

I’m going cinema in a mo, I don’t have TIME for more chaos. Slop knows what tomorrow will unleash 🥲

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Polly Page would sort Jack out pronto

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Is she still tweeting? I’m too scared to look.

50 minutes ago last one.
When she looked a bit dim about Burnside...