Jack Monroe #398 A subscription to JackazonPrime+

[ChocolateMuffin]

Spoiler: 🎵‘Cause Tonight, is the Ni-ight 🎵

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I feel honoured
Feel I may laminate this....and not in a Geets way.

 

[jenny2603]

I remember when it broke it was a HUGE Deal.


Is there, perhaps after he dropped the others off at the pub is next stop was essex!

Gene is already on the squad. I have appointed Detective Inspector Viv Deering from No Offence to lead the squad.

 

[tattybrogan]

I thought she was going to bed/couch to watch BCS and putting her phone in another room?

How dare you challenge her, do you want her to stop breathing?

 

[ChocolateMuffin]

Pink is suspected sock. It's either weird fans or Jack herself trying to bait people into wishing harm on her.

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After 'Statey Funes' and blue squig.....I AM MORE DECEASED THAN VIV.

Fucking hell

 

[Bugger13]

Ah, now I know what I've been missing all my life. If I bury a jar of Vicks in the front garden will it grow? Cos pov innit...

Haha, I tried checking poppy seeds all over the garden (the ones you put on bread). Was expecting Flanders fields but no, doesn’t work. Embarrassing, it sounds like the sort of stupidity Jack would recommend (to stay on topic)

 

[Slowworm]

Just a lesbian who has had relationships with men

 

[That Forensic Man]

And here we have the classic Jackism, shit I fucked up with my tweets, let’s distract the plebs with doggos. And also highlight that I ignore the respect of my parents house rules.

If page 1 of the narc's handbook is the 'meaning the Queen or me' thing this is page 2.
Deliberately overstep simple and reasonable boundaries and then brag about it and point out how stupid her parents are to have such a boundary in the first place. Play it off as a joke so anyone challenging you looks like the villain.

 

[PeepholePringle]

She deleted this tweet because it was reported
I think she's trying to get suspended

It'd do her a lot of good if she was.

 

[RaeRae]

I thought she'd gone to bedcouch with her phone in the other room.

LIAR!!!!

Your comment has me thinking. Now she has a couch for a bed will previous bed soup now become couch soup or bedcouch soup

 

[houseofhoop]

Does the thirsty clunge shot, the "crushes" on minor execs, the lesbian comment, this weird pashing on Harry, plus the frankly bizarre behaviour today indicate that Burger Boy has burgered off? She never reacts well to being dumped and he's not exactly riding to the rescue.
SOMEONE TURN HER OFF AND ON AGAIN FFS

She does need a reboot.

 

[Christina31]

Jack is so clever! Not!

 

[Just Lou]

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Everyone replying to this have clearly not been paying attention at all, or even bothered to check her timeline

So here's a thought. Log off. Permanently. Or at least until you get the help you need which won't happen because you don't think you need it.

 

[Lurkingandlaughing]

So Jack has put her phone down to read all the tweets she has missed, and check the days action on Tattlelife...hi jack.

 

[mackjonroe]

I guarantee she is not indeed putting the phone in another room.

 

[queenfeline]

Sorry if this lands somewhere inappropriate but I highly recommend The Dropout on Disney plus. Parallels between JM and Elizabeth Holmes are interesting.

Jack wishes she was capable of such a $cheme

Probably has a poster of Elizabeth Holmes and Queen Lizzie in her living room, her two deities

 

[Valiofthedolls]

There'd be no point in Jack posting shots of abusive DMs because some people would suggest she'd sent them to herself.

No shots = no DMs
Shots of DMs = sent them to herself

To be fair though, statistically there’s a high probability that she would have done…

 

[Just Lou]

I'm adding Burnside to my fantasy Essex Police Celebrity Squad line up. I'll probably bring in Tosh Lines to keep him company.

Burnside and Tosh will have it all sorted in no time!

 

[NeoCortex]

But she can do her super sleuthing and track him down surely?

And about 1000 other people on the same ip, in the same county/country.

 

[tattybrogan]

It's not the dogs fault but that poor animal is going to be an almighty pain in the arse when it's fully grown if it isn't already. This is why idiots shouldn't have pets of any kind but particularly ones that need training.

Totally agree. Especially medium-large breed dogs.

 

[AyiaKnacker]

Ok, but the question remains, how on earth do you get half a GCSE? Do they not only come in whole numbers?