Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

[Onestorytoomany]

I am the antisocial mum, i refuse to join the PTA, 'always busy'

But i do have the whatsapp for my younger kid, because sometimes, you forget pe days or certain school trips and its nice to have a gentle reminder. I dont do cofee dates and ocassionally i do playdates, but other than birthday parties i dont bother with other parents. Mainly because i struggle to talk to them.

 

[Dogmuck]

Is a ‘GI Emergency‘ why she’s going to the US Embassy? Makes you think.

Well POTUS & FLOTUS were at the US embassy last night to sign the book of condolences, it’s highly likely Joe & Jill have asked for an audience with Jack for advice on how the US can navigate it way through the inflation & interest rate hikes. They will probs have a chat, over a soda, about her favourite recipes from that banger Georgia Church Suppers.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I have a partial list for that lol

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All the different deadlines

Funniest thing is, there were probably about 32 deadlines after that, for which she had various other excuses.

 

[SpudYouHate]

Great work so far, GrannyOgg. Keep it up!!


On the literal autism: I had an old colleague who’s son was autistic. He used to take things very literally, for example: one year at Easter, he was making cards at school. The design of the card was a large Easter egg with smaller eggs made out of tissue paper.
he brought it home and my colleague and her family said well done etc. she said to her son along the lines of ‘that’s a lovely Easter egg, and I like all the wee eggs on the front of it too’. He responded ‘it’s not an egg with small eggs on the front. It’s a bit of paper with tissue paper stuck on it’.
that to me is classic literal thinking for someone with autism.

Autistic here and I was just like that as a kid, but mostly not now as an adult because I've come across most things enough times to NOT be fooled into taking them literally. Jack would be the same if she wasn't talking shite.

 

[FrankReagan]

Hi Jack, please sit down.

Some unwelcome news for you…

Mom Nigella is now aware of an actual working class*, hard-working** and productive*** foodie**** and successful writer*****
She’s even got a pet name for her, Kelly

*You’re middle class.

**that doesn’t include snarking on Twitter, soz

*** this means to actually PRODUCE things. Like recipes, books, postcards, charity updates. I know, I know - it’s a startling new concept for you. Promising, planning to do, lists, drafts, thinking about and tweets are not a product in themselves.

*** someone who really likes and usually LOVES food. Not slop. Not black pudding in everything and the bizarre ‘flavour’ combos you spaff out.

**** someone who writes well. Not loads of ME ME ME BULLSHIT FROM A DECADE AGO GIMME CASH ME ME. Ooof, sorry for shouting. Well not really. But you don’t half get on my norks.

Go well.

 

[Shimmering]

Did Jack ever mention Marcus Rashford's books?

In fact, has Jack, ever, before this moment, amplified diverse representations in books, TV, or films?

Or is this simply the latest twitter bandwagon she's decided to jump on for online clout?

I take serious issue with her centring herself in her brother's experiences as she apparently "navigates" them herself. She hasn't got the first fucking clue what he goes through.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

It will 100% be like the time she had a 2mm piece of fauna stuck in her finger which was the worst splinter to ever have afflicted a human being in the entirety of space and time but when she did a work thing the next day her finger looked totally normal.

Things I've noticed about Jack over the years..

Every illness is the worst ever.
Every suggestion that's made to her, she's already done.
Every idea that's sent her way, she's had it before.
Every (insert whatever) she's had, done, thought, bought, made, been given etc before.

The only thing I can summise is that she is so desperately lonely and in such desperate need to be seen as important that...

...yeah that sentence should have an ending, but it's fine as it is.

 

[Droosie123]

I work for the NHS and god help her if I have to listen to her bollocks as I will ask pertinent questions.

 

[Mokie]

Excellent point how we don’t all have a fully stocked larder/spice rack by Kerry Hudson (not squiggled as she has over 30k followers).

 

[MoistenedGussets]

She's got a picture of them on her Instagram.

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Why are they set out like an eBay Item...

 

[FrankReagan]

🥱

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See squigs, your money is going on over-hyped & expensive Dysons. My Miele is much better (& a LOT cheaper) than my old Dyson and I gather that many other brands are also better than those made by that hypocritical suction-botherer.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

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then why are you begging for cash hun

Just confirmed laryngitis private GP? Or she’s been to A&E? How do you see a doctor on a Sunday?

 

[Clarends]

Is this right?

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On a tweet promoting Jack's talk at Hastings there was a lot of critism of booking her. The festival tweeter replied saying Jack was a working class woman but then deleted. The tweet is on here somewhere. The organisers do know about Jack's Jeremy Kyle comment.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

yeah I think the quitting was a childish strop but as her old school chum said, she always wanted to be famous. You can tell that by the way she signed her blog posts like a pretentious twat right at the start. She should have stuck with her job on the paper in Southend, learned some journalism skills and she could have had an ok life.

But she is basically unemployable because of her absolutely cast iron belief that she is right about everything. She can’t take instruction or criticism or challenge.

So she got propelled into the spotlight which she’d always wanted, hooked up with Leggy and it was all going exactly as it should - the glamorous life, the A list mates. And then Leggy dumped her and she’s been trying to recreate that high ever since.

I honestly think she thinks that’s the life she deserves. Which is why she is so very, very angry all the time.

 

[veronica71]

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then why are you begging for cash hun

Oh so shut the fuck up - Sophie Raworth has clearly got a sore throat and she’s presenting national coverage of one of the biggest events in the UK’s history and you don’t see her wittering on about it all over Twitter. It’s called being a professional you should try it

 

[kachoochoo]

looks like she did it!

eta - the washington post!

 

[SpudYouHate]

Excellent point how we don’t all have a fully stocked larder/spice rack by Kerry Hudson (not squiggled as she has over 30k followers).

Or, like us, you DO have a full spice rack but everything's about 15 years past the use-by date, except the things you actually USE, which are empty.

 

[Boyo]

Watch out, Bod, she's got her eyes on a trip to Vegas for you.

Don't eat anything that hasn't been made by an American, or you're going to come to outside the Cheap Twat Drivethru Chapel with somebody squealing about how you need to buy her a 'proper' ring now the pastry one has served its purpose.

 

[usefullyuseless]

The title of her talk is Munchausen's & Me: How I Manage to Work 120+ Hours a Week Despite Having ALL the Ouchies

 

[Valiofthedolls]

A generally sickly bunny. What fucking adult fucking human being describes themselves like that. Oh I'm a poorly lickle wabbit.

One who also describes themselves as

Spoiler: “cute as a tiny shiny button”?

I forgot how hilarious the facetuning was in this. It got eclipsed (justifiably!) by @Marmalade Atkins favourite Easter jumper pic, but this one is proper eeee up little cockney Dickensian/smol Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins urchin