Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

[Jemadah]

As if I needed yet another reason to dislike her, she goes and types "just text my housemate" when it should have been "just texted". No 1 pet peeve of mine. Don't @ me, I'M BUSY. Now fuck off.

 

[StatusWoe]

I think the third pie says 'BED' and she'll greedily devour it in bed later. The one that looks like an arsehole will be inhaled while she's tweeting from the bog in the morning.

Why Jack cheer?
Night pie here.

Why she sigh?
Can't fry
bed pie.

Why so snippy?
Bald the housemate
fled to chippy.

If I put prunes in a pie I certainly wouldn't admit to it.

Why Jack tweet on toilet?
Prunes in pie, and nearly soiled it.

(Sorry)

 

[jenny2603]

My teen is terrified of dogs, early in her life dog owners would routinely insist she shouldn’t be afraid because Rover wouldn’t bite her. This had quite the opposite effect to what they wanted to achieve before they mentioned biting her only worry was they might knock her over. I learnt a lesson about how stupid we adults can be when dealing kids.

I was really terrified of dogs when I was a child. I think a lot of adults don't get how intimidating even a medium sized dog can be to a child. Alsatians were very popular when I was wee and having one of them in your face barking and snarling is fucking terrifying and isn't made less so by some halfwit saying "he'll no touch you".

 

[BlendedSlop]

Think I'll just have the random pretzels on the side if it's all the same to you, ta x

 

[Terrible]

Anyone know who this is?

 

[Thank(space)you]

You're all missing the obvious, it's barold

 

[Five hundred dogs]

So eco Jack hasn’t driven a car for twenty years to save the planet, but will buy a whole hoover twice because of damage to the most easily replaceable part of the machine? Big Dave would almost certainly know someone who is qualified to do small electrical repairs, and if not a quick Google would work.

 

[Switchstreetz]

Is the lodgers name BellenD?

Not Billy (we hope!)

Also isn't James Dyson a Tory Brexit loving arsehole who cut jobs and or wages? I could be confusing him with someone else though. But if not then Jack is endorsing a fellow crony.

Correct, but since when has jack let her supposed morals prevent her spending habit

A dog that has chewed through two hoover wires in such a short space of time is a dog who is not being looked after - I'm hoping this is Jack bullshitting because the alternative is a lonely and bored golden doodle left unsupervised for too long too often, and Content could eat something harmful or end up electrocuted.

Oh and nice, of course she has SB hoovering while he's round. How filthy would a room have to be before a 12 year old boy decides to switch on the hoover unprompted and start tidying up. Remember when she said he was mowing the lawn for fun as well? And that video where she's heard sitting on her arse telling SB to pick something up that's right next to her? I'm surprised she hasn't got him writing her recipe books for her yet, or handling the patreon postcards.

Maybe he could do a better job tbh. Ugh, she really is just the worst hope the prunes make her suffer tbh

 

[PeepholePringle]

I meant to post this last week when I was digging through Guardian articles. Sound familiar?

View attachment 1573289

Wasn’t written in summer 2021 to become the sum she claimed was be used for SBs holidays in 2022 though. This was from January 5 2019 when the G. indulged her in being some sort of voice of sobriety after not drinking alcohol for ONE WEEK.

My name is Jack Monroe, and I’m an alcoholic. But now I’m recovering…

The food writer, journalist and campaigner opens up about how alcohol took over her life once fame struck. This is her mea culpa

www.theguardian.com

According to her she was still sober at the end of December, so that ‘lump sum’ allegedly existed at the end of 2019. Or at least I’m sure existed then as much as it did in summer 2022.

Alcoholism doesn't confine me any longer – and it doesn't define me either | Jack Monroe

Gone are the dreadful hangovers, regrets and shame that went hand in glove with addiction, replaced after 12 months with a rekindled love of life, family and friends

www.theguardian.com

NOTE: PLEASE CLICK ON BOTH ARTICLES WITH CARE. Trigger warnings doesn’t even cover it. Both articles are deeply offensive in so many ways, and just…gross.

I'm a shallow person to notice this but the kettle in the first link is an electric one. If you look closely you can see the cable, it's been plunked on top of the hob to look fancier.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

If she could marry into relative wealth (meaning someone willing to support her in the style to which she would love to become accustomed), her craving for attention and praise would still persist. I imagine she would continue to live on social media and perform illness and "specialness."

I think she’d pivot to being a Kirsty Alsopp ‘village green make do and mend bootstrap home crafts and Tory lifestyle guru’ faster than you could say “Aga in the kitchen and Laura Ashley Homemade Bunting”.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Is there anyone left who doesnt know her story?

No wonder she was the gcse syllabus. She reminds everyone of it that much they probably have it memorised.

Imagine being an overworked, undervalued worker and having to listen to the great twat.

At least these lot have the measure of her and she’s just being asked to turn up and talk about herself. I mean, she did that in Edinburgh even though it was meant to be about something else. They clearly know the limits of her skillset and are relying on other presenters to talk about budgeting and decent recipes etc which are allegedly her niche.

I wonder if she’ll bring her me, me, me diatribe right up to date with “And THEN my deliciously ordinary homophobic OH who hated my tattoos and boilersuits, but with whom I’d been planning on buying a house LEFT, both smashing my heart to bits and ripping it out, leaving me in a slogging pit of depression. Needless to say though, I had the last laugh because I’m now banging a delicious beau of a shift worker who buys me burgers, shags me for 6 hours and leaves in the middle of the night! I call this one my better half!”

 

[Marj24]

Her visit to rural Africa and meeting those women doesn't seem to have affected her much. I mean like she talks about supermarket food prices but not the poverty of those growing the food.

Everything she says is about her. That trip gave her so much opportunity to learn and grow... Totally wasted on her.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Not quite what it's for, Jack.

 

[BlendedSlop]

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@VeniVidiVicki

She uses this mini oven...

View attachment 1569716View attachment 1569717

Grunking again, but the stills from the Comic Kitchen era always remind me of the funniest comment I've ever read on these threads: "She looks like a youth in a borstal doing a cookery course"

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I wish she’d learn to write. This is unreadable, overblown, pseudo intellectual wordpumble.

Take Ursula’s name outta your mouth coz your singing voice ain’t worth shit.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

The replies! What is wrong with these people?!

 

[GrannyOgg]

Spoiler: Jack versus Lee Anderson, Martin Daubney, Lawrence Fox and a bloke called Pat

Let us defer to the Observer for a brief explanation of how Jack versus Lee Anderson, Martin Daubney, Laurence Fox and a bloke called Pat
…The row began after deputy leader of the Reclaim Party, Martin Daubney, posted a clip of an interview he had conducted with Anderson.
At the start of the clip, Daubney refers to Monroe as the “self-appointed representative of the impoverished”, adding she has “sold loads of books. Done quite well out of it. No doubt, probably earns more than the prime minister”. Anderson responds by stating: “She’s taking money off some of the most vulnerable people in society and making an absolute fortune on [sic] the back of people.”…
( Observer 15 May 2022)
Jack immediately leapt into action. At 5.25 on the 13th May she retweeted the offending video, tagging the lawyer who represented her when she successfully sued Katie Hopkins.
View attachment 1569434
Interestingly, as I write this, the vile video with its career wrecking accusations is still on our heroines timeline, softly, gently ticking up views. All part of her cunning legal strategy I am sure.
At 18.02 Jack tweeted this. It was obvious she meant business.
View attachment 1569488
Jack continued to tag her lawyer throughout the evening of the 13th, keeping him up to date with the fast moving situation
View attachment 1569419
Not perhaps quite as often as she counted the number of views of the video
View attachment 1569438
And she did make time to let us know this interesting fact
View attachment 1569447
At 7.31 however our heroine seemed to become unsure whether her lawyer had the capacity to accommodate her and, possibly sensitive to the accusations laid against her, she added an important rider to her tweet. She would donate the cash if it wasn’t needed and anyone who couldn’t afford it was to donate. A huge relief to me in particular, mid month is always a difficult time.
View attachment 1569462Unfortunately, no doubt caught up in heat of the moment and keen to help the peoples poverty Princess, not everyone listened
View attachment 1569490
We will take up the story later that night when Jack returned to our screens.

Quoting myself like a ninny this is part one, I thinks there’s just too much to put in one post. I’m having difficulty forcing myself to leave stuff out.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

I honestly think all this started as a poverty cosplay to alarm the parents into supplying a free house and that she’d probably got herself into a crap

Spoiler: personal theory has no basis on fact or evidence.

See I think it started as a threat to the Fire service cause they wouldn't give her the hours she wanted.
She threatened to quit, then quit, then tried to take it back, but they accepted it and she was out.

The rest snowballed from there.
Her daddy probably got her the fire job and to prove to him she could make it on her own, she cosplayed as poor for a month.

The blog taking off was purely accidental, but when it did, she realised that an opportunity to grift had come along. Probably with some help from some third person pushing her along.

Now she has to perpetuate constantly and lives with a constant fear of it all crumbling around her, hence the shaking like a Yorkie with dysentery when she's on the TV..

She's also realised along the way that being on her arse tweeting and taking cash from morons is easier than working for a living, so the sob stories just have to keep coming to drive the patreons.

It's a self perpetuating and self fulfilling fate, what's the endgame? Is she really going to be grifting for the next 30 years till she retires?
Maybe... It's a long haul and a long time to live in fearful state 24/7

.

 

[All I've Ever Wanted]

Is it just me or has every family had a WhatsApp group forever, already? And yet here’s Jack just setting one up?
I bet everyone was delighted when she created that group.

They already all had one together but had to pretend to be novices when Jack set up hers.

 

[SmillieKylie]

View attachment 1570516View attachment 1570517

then why are you begging for cash hun

It’s probably not true, but if it is I really want more details about how she has been booked to speak to NHS staff. I’m actually quite angry and dismayed if someone thought this appropriate and I dread hearing what topic she has been chosen to speak on. I have had involvement in booking speakers for events within the NHS in the past checks are ran on backgrounds and controversies involving people speaking to staff members, or they were when I was involved, wouldn't consider many of her opinions as suitable. She cannot speak to staff with any political bias for a start, plus some of her views would be considered controversial and even downright dangerous. Would also say nursing staff as a rule will see through any BS, they do not suffer fools or being talked down to. This better be more fantasy, not happy hearing this. Anyone know if she’s had a speaking engagement with the NHS before ?