Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

[Justacatindisguise]

View attachment 1572001

Jack mate, parents don't gather at the school gates to walk their 12 year olds home.

How does anyone believe that kid lives with her?

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

You don’t need to capitalise “White”, Jack, you fucking dolt. Black is capitalised to signify political blackness. Only white supremacists capitalise white.

Someone, please, cancel this woman for only ever mentioning her poor brother at strategic moments to position herself as “one of the good ones” who “has Black friends”.

Edit: here you go, Jack. For your grunk. https://www.thebanner.org/columns/2021/04/why-we-capitalize-black-and-not-white someone who is apparently a journalist and supposedly “devoured” books by Eddo-Lodge and Afua Hirsch (… or so you said while you were talking about cutting your brother’s hair and calling yourself “white as mayo” during BLM) should really have known this already.

 

[reCAPTCHA]

It’s a minor point in the grand scheme of things, but her use of the word heckin makes me want to gouge my eyeballs out.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Giddy up y'all, American Jack is back!

If she's allowed to recycle material then so am I. Would you rather I stopped breathing??

 

[jenny2603]

Gosh that brought back an identical memory from decades ago when I was about 5. The neighbour's alsation Sheba (they were always called Sheba) snarled, lunged at me then bit my arm in their kitchen. The owners had been saying 'stroke her, her barking is only her saying hallo'. Apparently her bite was then 'a love nip'. Were people all utterly barmy back then?
I don't thing Jack's dog is one of those scary breeds, but any large unruly dog is not good. And running around with her baggy undercrackers is a particularly nauseating thought. Poor dog. Had they just been draped on the bed sofa after pumble?

It's a minor miracle anyone made it out the 70s and 80s alive. If they weren't allowing insane dogs to run amok they had you trapped in a poorly ventilated room full of chain smokers. Then there were all those public health and safety ads that left you a nervous wreck. Wild times.

 

[Mr Krabs]

And when SB has friends over…

 

[Veronicaaa]

I wish she’d learn to write. This is unreadable, overblown, pseudo intellectual wordpumble.

The follow up is even more irritating, somehow.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

@VeniVidiVicki

She uses this mini oven...

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I meant to post this last week when I was digging through Guardian articles. Sound familiar?

Wasn’t written in summer 2021 to become the sum she claimed was be used for SBs holidays in 2022 though. This was from January 5 2019 when the G. indulged her in being some sort of voice of sobriety after not drinking alcohol for ONE WEEK.

My name is Jack Monroe, and I’m an alcoholic. But now I’m recovering…

The food writer, journalist and campaigner opens up about how alcohol took over her life once fame struck. This is her mea culpa

www.theguardian.com

According to her she was still sober at the end of December, so that ‘lump sum’ allegedly existed at the end of 2019. Or at least I’m sure existed then as much as it did in summer 2022.

Alcoholism doesn't confine me any longer – and it doesn't define me either | Jack Monroe

Gone are the dreadful hangovers, regrets and shame that went hand in glove with addiction, replaced after 12 months with a rekindled love of life, family and friends

www.theguardian.com

NOTE: PLEASE CLICK ON BOTH ARTICLES WITH CARE. Trigger warnings doesn’t even cover it. Both articles are deeply offensive in so many ways, and just…gross.

 

[HotesTilaire]

This is what single mums want to aspire to when decorating kids rooms - no whinging, https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/1...ce=sharebar_native&utm_medium=sharebar_native

Hi, I see you’re posting a lot of links to the s*n. That’s entirely your choice I’m not moderating, but just letting you know that there’s a section of us (and society) who refuse to read it.

If the info is available elsewhere it’s better to use a different source. Also don’t forget Jack reckons she threw a pencil case at Kelvin McKenzie if you ever need an example of an entirely fabricated anecdote.

 

[hooplifehero]

View attachment 1569492

Sounds like a Victorian mourning dish.

lost pages from Dickens


“do I see a Small Boy there, afeared and alarmed?” declared Mr Shrivelbits, pointing towards young Monroe.
“oh sir it is nothing sir,” the young man trembled. “Just that I received a letter this morning from my Ma.”
”well and what of it?” asked the teacher, not unkindly. “What is it that a mother could write, that would make a boy turn pale as the moon?”
”sir, she has said I should come home,” the lad stammered.
”and…?”
”and that she has made black pudding and prune pie sir and that I must eat it.”

 

[FrankReagan]

Not sure how’s she talking to 3000 employees, according to their website they only have slightly over 1000 working for them. Why does she feel the need to lie about every damn thing?

Each employee is bringing two bodyguards?

 

[Malkiavelli]

Spoiler: The curious case of the disappearing law suit ( part 2)

Our intrepid heroine seems to have returned around 9.45. She immediately took aim at Martin Daubney.
View attachment 1569604
She then discovered Lawrence Fox, cad that he is, had donated £5 to her appeal. She immediately donated his fiver to the Trussel Fund. Given that, it is perhaps not unreasonable to assume that is where all the unneeded donations went. They are a worthy cause close to Jacks heart ( see Tee Mill).
View attachment 1569607
Fearing Daubney was unaware of who he was up against, Jack sensibly decided to enlighten him. Alas, Mr Daubney seemed unimpressed.
View attachment 1569612
You’re wondering about Pat aren’t you? Wonder no longer…
View attachment 1569653
Anything seemed possible on that exciting night
View attachment 1569672
But there was a certain unhappiness brewing. Questions were beginning to be asked….
View attachment 1569673
.. and not all of them from Lozza.
View attachment 1569674

So by 23.07 Jack had deleted the tweet asking for donations to her PayPal account
View attachment 1569680


By 1.12 pm Saturday 14th May, Jack was able to share with us that she had instructed her lawyer. Is poor Pat in included under “and co”? Surely not!
View attachment 1569693
After this stern announcement, little was shared about the upcoming case until May 20, when Jack confirmed that lawyers letters had been fired off and public apologies demanded. The interesting bit is at around 11.02 although it’s all good. Jack tells Us all about her 120 hour week. It’s very moving.



Fortunately, given that I can find no apologies from any of the gentlemen named by Jack, by May 28th she had a crack team of paralegals on the case
View attachment 1569714
So is there an ongoing lawsuit or have matters been quietly settled out of court?
Happily, from our point of view none of that matters, because as recently as August 26th, Jack tweeted this…


View attachment 1569726

I can hardly contain my excitement to find out exactly how much money was donated to Jacks PayPal account that night. The Trussell fund must surely have received more than Lozzas fiver. Or perhaps the money went to some other, equally worthy, cause?
Just tell us Jack, you know you’re dying too and after all transparency isn’t just for tories,

And her ceaseless claim to be “working 120 hour weeks”, or the similar claim re. Yesterday, that she works until “3AM” - how can she keep on saying it when there’s absolutely zero output? It’s maddening to the point of fascination. No book (still), she doesn’t write, say, a regular column, no recipes and no Patreon output. No regular tv work. In fact, when she does get gigs she finds it incredibly easy to drop this never ending stream of work and to suddenly start working similarly long hours on the tv production - so what happens to this ‘work’ that there’s absolutely no evidence of. It was funny also to read her older tweet the other day about needing to sleep for mammoth stretches (16 hours was it?) after covid … how the fuck is that possible?

She’s been making the working all hours claim for years even though it’s clear from her Twitter usage that she does almost no work, yet she brazenly makes the claim to a live audience - and this from some who claims herself incapable of telling a lie.

What she is, above all other things, is a fantasist - she’s told the lie so many times that in her mind it’s fact, and she is no longer capable of separating fact from fiction. You gotta wonder how much of this fantasy world applies to the rest of her life, and the bold claims she makes.

 

[Geetbo]

Me too, though I'm in central Spain (Extremadura) away from the coast where it is cloudy and hot. Trying to keep up here as I don't want to fall too far behind, but sitting on my phone reading about the smol pixie would be a bit rude. I keep trying to do sneaky reads when no-one is looking.

I could say that I wish I wish I was home contributing to the discussion, but that would be a lie. I love it here. Just off out for tapas and some vino tinto. Adiós cábala.

ETA I can hardly wait for the haircut pictures. I can imagine they will be dreadful.

I’m in Croatia. Funnily enough when I was doing my A Levels my Spanish exchange was to Caceres in Extremadura

I’ve just had a very speedy grunk, and have nothing to add except it must be so tiring for Jack being so much of a tragic cunt 24/7.

 

[overdueanadventure]

So her dog's eaten not one but 2 hoover wires in the last month? After one, you'd have thought you'd tidy the damned thing away.

Especially with being so frugal and all.

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Great work so far, GrannyOgg. Keep it up!!


On the literal autism: I had an old colleague who’s son was autistic. He used to take things very literally, for example: one year at Easter, he was making cards at school. The design of the card was a large Easter egg with smaller eggs made out of tissue paper.
he brought it home and my colleague and her family said well done etc. she said to her son along the lines of ‘that’s a lovely Easter egg, and I like all the wee eggs on the front of it too’. He responded ‘it’s not an egg with small eggs on the front. It’s a bit of paper with tissue paper stuck on it’.
that to me is classic literal thinking for someone with autism.

That's what I call being literal too.
Being autistic isn't about labelling your actions. I don't do stuff and then say,
"I did that cause I'm autistic.."
It wouldn't cross my mind really, until someone else is confused why I did something how I did something. How I do something is just how I do something..

If that makes sense, which probably doesn't.. Lol.

Jack's little joke, nothing to do with autism, just a sorry excuse for a play on words about some sorry excuses for pies.

 

[Dogmuck]

She's still pretty snippy

View attachment 1570941

Let’s just remind ourselves….
Late for Bristol
No show at Glastonbury
Hello 5 live
Hello Times Radio
<insert 100 other no shows>

a decade of letting people down ~poor~ ADHD~ illnesses ~

Do fk off you work shy pumble. Jesus nobody in the real world of work (eta cos I’m having a few wines) behaves like this.

 

[Clovis]

Sweet Jesus, the abominations won't stop...

 

[Lazarus]

Just a small and trivial point.
“there’s a pie with your name on it. Autistic = incredibly literal”

but this isn’t an example of being incredibly literal is it? It’s knowingly making a play on words. It’s (if it even happened) a self-aware joke, not thinking that if you say “there’s a pie with your name on it” it has to have a name on it, cause you’re autistic and don’t understand idiomatic phrases.

I don’t want to diagnose anyone online and I don’t know a great deal about autism but I am not autistic as far as I know, and I might feasibly, jokingly text someone “there’s a pie with your name on it” if it literally had their name on it, because I’d see it as a pun around the idiom (the pie is meant for you) and the unusual reality (it actually does have your name in pastry)

my point is that this doesn’t seem an autistic thing at all?

It’s a shame that she can’t be as incredibly literal when talking about the transparency she promised in relation to Teemill.
similarly, she’s not incredibly literal in producing and delivering 10000000 postcards a month to her loyal patreons.

 

[threetintender]

So….JM decides that she’s Dangerously Unwell on a Saturday. And has informed everyone that is expecting her next week ‘the moment she knew’? So people are available out of hours to accept calls from her? Wha? Did she also inform them that she was also eating several ‘hearty meals’, walking the dog in the rain and nipping to Wilko? Silly me, of course she did because she can’t have a piss without needing to inform the public. I’m always fascinated and amused when people say something about JM is their aneurysm. I would love a thread devoted completely to that. I need to finesse my own because it’s mostly *gestures around* the entire mendacious shitshow that is my aneurysm. Fuck off, the lot of you xx