Jack Monroe #391 There are still copies of Good Food for Bad Days up for grabs

[Jelly Bean]

This bodyguard business. So she does need one when she goes to a gig nobody knows about.
But doesn't when she advertises to over half a million people what shop she is going to and the route she is taking. With her son.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Content may be allowed in Wilkos - ours has a sign saying well behaved hounds are welcome!

The “Content Broke My Hoover” nonsense tale is so she can say “it’s ok - I can use a broom like Cinderelly and her helper smol miceand I am sure my ouchy arthritis will be ok”. It will lead to the next rattle for sure.

A definite tin rattle! She's had a massive spend up in the past week, send penny-o's.

(Also, yes Wilko let you take in your dog, but it'll add at least 15 mins to your errand because everyone loves a dog in a shop.)

 

[Brian Butterfield]

 

[Debarkle]

View attachment 1568784

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you have to change the “who can reply” bit for each individual tweet. The default is anyone can reply.
How lucky that an accidental tweet also selected that option.

 

[overdueanadventure]

So is Burgerman a "better half" now? She's quick on the relationship escalator.

Actually everything she does is really quick -
one minute, sadface mourn the queen, then whiplash! as she throws pies at Charlie.
Next at death's door with not-Covid, down the chemist's and she's moving furniture & going on long dog walks.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Please correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you have to change the “who can reply” bit for each individual tweet. The default is anyone can reply.
How lucky that an accidental tweet also selected that option.

She's clearly got a little bag goblin, causing chaos whenever she tosses her unlocked phone in there.

 

[LavaFlake]

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Same babe x

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

I thought she was staying home for a few days in case she had covid? Tit.

Monsieur le Camembert is either cuntstruck or thick associating with someone like Jack. A rudimentary Google of his company shows they’ve got a joint project going with Cambridge Uni which presumably has hefty funding attached. Their other income must come from the restaurant biz. Probably not the best idea to be on the socials with someone who’s becoming notorious for lack of transparency with donated money when you’re going to need future funding bids to keep afloat. Equally she’s hated by almost every chef who has WhatsApp and whose restaurants they rely on for the other half of their income stream.

Narcs gonna narc. Good luck, Stove .

 

[HotesTilaire]

If the vacuum cleaner's been left out without the cord wound up (it avoids 'hilarious' trips, falls and other accidents that way) for so long that she hasn't noticed the dog chewing on it, I'm willing to bet that there are patches of the carpets that are absolutely soaked through from the puppy. And that would mean having to use a broom and carpet shampoo to scrub the patches to get rid of the stink from baked in dog piss, which must have got pretty intense with her being away so much.


On the shoulder bullshit, real disabled people (context: who aren't completely unable to bend or lift one foot more than a couple of inches off the floor) tend to use cylinder vacs like her Henry (she made a point of mentioning the brand when Haroldfæder, Haroldsmodor and Haroldbroþor came to tea and he strangely wanted to start cleaning the place) because they are far easier on the shoulders and back than uprights, because you just move the tube and head, kicking the motor unit along on its wheels where it can't be pulled easily, rather than lifting, holding and pushing the entire bleeping thing as you do for an upright. And they're all easier than bleeping brooms.

Rich disableds use a Shark or Dyson stick Hoover that’s lightweight and easy to move.
I even bought an off brand little gadget for mine which holds the button down on my dyson so I don’t have to clench my hand for the duration. #hoteshack

 

[MavisBeacon]

Ye gods, using a broom rather than a hoover?? How is it possibly easier on her achy joints? I've got joint issues and sweeping/raking gets painful really quickly compared with hoovering. Also as pointed out, sweeping a carpet is not going to pick up dust, allergens, spores, flea eggs etc etc. Utterly gross.

 

[Tabitha D]

Jack's 'A big work talk' = another hour gently, softly re-hashing the same old shite at a smol unadvertised event.

Health and Wellbeing Week 12th - 16th September 2022

Provide Health and Wellbeing Week

www.eventbrite.co.uk

Life beyond her wildest dreams.

“Cooking on a bootstrap - my story”.
Oh joy. Her favourite subject. Again.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Rich disableds use a Shark or Dyson stick Hoover that’s lightweight and easy to move.
I even bought an off brand little gadget for mine which holds the button down on my dyson so I don’t have to clench my hand for the duration. #hoteshack

Yes! I love my stick vac (stick vac rich wanker, sorry) I think mine is a Beko, with a button to keep it switched on.

I've got MS. I wouldn't remotely class myself as disabled but I had a relapse in my right arm ten years ago and it still gets achy if I do too much with it, and I've got various neuromuscular shenanigans going. The way Jack makes out like she's oh so lucky disabled one minute and then yomping about with a rucksack and a broom and sleeping on the sofa the next is absolutely infuriating. Stop playing for sympathy you bleeping fraud.

 

[NomDeGuerre]

Tbf, that’s the first bit of sense she’s tweeted in ages.

 

[Tabitha D]

What the duck is womp womp?

It’s that sound you make just before you throw up.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I thought she was staying home for a few days in case she had covid? Tit.

Monsieur le Camembert is either cuntstruck or thick associating with someone like Jack. A rudimentary Google of his company shows they’ve got a joint project going with Cambridge Uni which presumably has hefty funding attached. Their other income must come from the restaurant biz. Probably not the best idea to be on the socials with someone who’s becoming notorious for lack of transparency with donated money when you’re going to need future funding bids to keep afloat. Equally she’s hated by almost every chef who has WhatsApp and whose restaurants they rely on for the other half of their income stream.

Narcs gonna narc. Good luck, Stove .

If it is him he also was in partnership with Micheal Roux Jnr too.
Hilarious she thinks her failings as a partner are so cutesy - working too hard, overfeeding, cleaning too much.
Not the awful over sharing, attention seeking, obsessive need to keep tabs on the poor sod and applying for a bleeping mortgage with them within a week.

 

[veronica71]

So she’s really ill but has been to the pharmacy, Wilko, faffed about cooking a sandwich and done more decluttering

I wish I got ill like that

 

[Nottonightbabe]

So is Burgerman a "better half" now? She's quick on the relationship escalator.

Actually everything she does is really quick -
one minute, sadface mourn the queen, then whiplash! as she throws pies at Charlie.
Next at death's door with not-Covid, down the chemist's and she's moving furniture & going on long dog walks.

I wonder if better half (BH) is the housemate then? Would not be surprised, she has no qualms about moving that fast. Hope she's included a revolving door in the downsizing plans.

 

[Captainmouse]

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Seriously, do real people eat that?

 

[FrankReagan]

I wonder if better half (BH) is the housemate then? Would not be surprised, she has no qualms about moving that fast. Hope she's included a revolving door in the downsizing plans.

I read that as ‘revolting door’ - which to be fair is a given.

 

[AndrewsDaddy]

Precisely, what will it do? And is this all from the legendary £20 shop?

That contained no eggs 🤷‍