Jack Monroe #390 Jack just behaves strangely in a bungalow

[Nurseali]

'A deranged blog who got upset over a crust on a dessert recipe'. Do they mean....

Spoiler

PUMBLE???

How can anyone get mad at pumble. Its so original it needs three spoons. One to smash the hard as fuxk crust, one to lap up the juice and the other to repeatedly smash into your eyes so you no longer need to see the abomination.
Now that is special

 

[Lurky McLurkFace]

oh Vlad you’re so funny

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Laughed like a drain at Kerry Hudson getting columns in the Guardian, as she is so absolutely everything that Jack pretends to be but is not.

I’m sure it’s been done before, and much more FORENSICALLY, but out of curiosity I went and had a little gander on the weekend at Jack’s Guardian/Observer output.

Not that this is just Jack’s byline; articles and columns written by Jack. It does not include the myriad fawning interviews with/articles about Jack (with their occasionally regrettable accompanying photoshoots ).

2022 3 (so far)
2021 1
2020 4
2019 7
2018 3
2017 2
2016 5 (two of these are her putting the ‘I’ in ‘I, Daniel Blake’)
2015 26
2014 55
2013 24 (starting in late July)

I get that she had a recipe column in 2013-2014, but fuck me, on average more than one article a week written by Jack is…a lot. Some might even call it “Way Too Much”.

ETA I also learned from a 2019 article that Louisa was a long-term vegetarian and that Jack used to keep a huge container of dried sage and onion stuffing (she “buys 5 boxes at a time and decants it” into one giant container) to chuck into every one of Louisa’s meals, including a nut roast that Louisa proclaimed “The best ever”.

*Note, I just clicked on that one randomly because it had a really daft photo. Even in service to the canal I could not bring myself to click more than that.

I give you the follow up to ‘James and the Giant Peach’; Jack and the Giant Laptop.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

She’s going to write a poem if the Queen dies isn’t she?

why Jack lie?
Queen dies
Why Jack grift?
Queen ended her shift.

 

[GrannyOgg]

Great work.
Timestamping of her tweets is so important. I can see why it’s sometimes cropped out, but I think it really helps if we try to keep this in where possible.

Tweets get deleted and memories fade. Timestamps don’t lie.
It Looks as though Jack was threatening to sue this person too at one point. You can almost see the pound coins rolling in her eyes.
edited it’s a random squig

 

[confusedlady]

please jack

 

[Walkdengirl]

Ah sorry . It really is a very good read. I think he appeared in a TV documentary about cancer treatment too? Anyway, I don't think it's fair to drag Nigella and John Diamond and whatever arrangement they had when they knew he was dying into Jack's fiasco of a life.

Not you @Nurseali I agreed with your post.

Mr friends partner was part of their friendship group at the time, what you said earlier was spot on. Nigella was a food writer, but he encouraged her to do the TV programmes despite her being shy and awkward, in her first TV appearances she hadn't brushed her hair or put much make up on (she appeared on Nigel Slater's show), I think she grew into the character we think of as nigella.

Occasionally they repeat the programmes that he was in with her, and I still find them a very moving watch. Apparently they were very much in love, and I think that comes through. They also said she was a lovely, very kind person and I think that's why she was taken in by Jack.

Anyway we are here to talk about Jack, so no more nigella talk

 

[Terrible]

I’m worried about Jack. If Madge dies, how is she going to make it all about her when she‘s said she’s not a monarchist?

 

[jenny2603]

I don’t know what the canal is getting so amused about. Whenever I’m in the supermarket and can’t find an item I always leave, return home and ask a very minor celebrity on Twitter where the item might be found in a supermarket they’ve never been to. Doesn’t everyone do that?

I've just been to Iceland and noted there was not an iconic prawn ring to be had for love nor money. This is the hardest I've ever had to work to respect the Tattle rules on interacting with Jack. Send strengthos.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

View attachment 1561476
LJC - people are so confused they are picking things up and putting things back again in Asda. Squig, like the Smartprice rice that was never taken away, it just might not be there right now. Maybe there just weren’t enough items to put in the section. I don’t think even this is one for Super Mon, can’t you just let her breathe?

Sometimes the less charitable side of me thinks that some people actually deserve a cost of living crisis.

 

[Smeghead]

We can all agree she has given up her life to work selflessly for the good of all and has lived a life of service. The Queen did some stuff too.

 

[Katkat]

Dublin fraus, you’re in our thoughts. Go well.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

She has DEFINITELY used these exact words about the decade in a job she neither asked nor applied for to describe herself hasn’t she? Or am I in a fuge state?

 

[MistyWindows]

Stupid question I know, but where’s Content? When we first got our puppy we didn’t like leaving her at all, the first time she went to daycare was absolutely nerve racking!
I know that’s not an option for everyone, I worked days and my sister worked nights, but the amount of times she’s already fucked off and left that puppy on her own/with god knows who is ridiculous. How can she expect her to adjust well, idiot.

 

[Fitnessqueen]

Husband dropped his son off at uni yesterday and they visited Asda (we don't have a local one). He spent ages last night waxing lyrical about how cheap it was while I sat there giving him the side-eye.

 

[jenny2603]

Spoiler

There was a post in the last thread about the 90% vegan thing I wanted to reply to, but then the thread was locked - I know I described myself as "80-90% vegan" but i was being sarcastic, comparing myself to Jack. i would never describe myself that way in reality, bc i'm not vegan nor trying to be. i do eat mostly vegetarian, mostly to save money, but please don't think i'm one of those obnoxious people who goes around co-opting labels that don't belong to me🫣

Spoiler: OT Reply

Don't worry at about it. There are loads of folk that don't fit the labels, I know people who'll tell a waiter they're vegetarian or vegan because for the purposes of ordering that meal they are, there's really no need to give the waiter a full run down on the times they eat meat, dairy or fish but stick mostly to a veggie or veagn diet. I think where stuff like that becomes problematic is when you get people like Jack jumping on the bandwagon to flog a book and then not only eating meat again but eating the worst low welfare crap out there. Then getting a gig promoting a vegan/veggie food brand that could have gone to about a million far better influencers out there. I've recently abandoned 34 years of vegetarianism to start eating fishos again (sorry lads it's part inexplicable craving, part health thing and part mentioning it to a dietitian are her thinking it was a good idea but emphasising
it's not essential as there other options). Land animals remain safe from Numbers and no bollock sausage shall be passing my lips. I will probably still mark myself down as vegetarian for hospital stays or when dining out because most of the time it's how I eat and it saves getting landed with meat I won't eat in hospital. What I won't be doing is lying about it for money, Jack style.

 

[Julia Edwards]

And oh god, now they’ve killed Paddington!

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Oh good! We have something for the workplan! She's put in an exhausting 9 hours 40 so far of tentative work this week. Of course that'll all be updated when she provides evidence of the other stuff by giving either updates or the completed output.

 

[Helena Handbasket]

Not all kids in care are diificult/disturbed. I was in care because my parents were shit-I was quite a nice, self-contained little person. Nowadays they encourage foster parents with teenagers to take little ones and vice versa as age group similarities cause added conflict.
*edit-this in response to her claims of ‘feral’ kids etc.

 

[GrannyOgg]

Hi guys,

long time lurker, first time poster here. I have become for some reason absolutely obsessed by the ongoing grift. I’ve actually done a competition beforeand purchased the winner two of her books, then Awfully Molly opened my eyes and ever since, things have started falling quite into place for me.

one thing I don’t understand though, SURELY someone like who loves her friends or family can sit her down and tell her what an idiot she is making of herself? Going on on Twitter about Essex Police and bodyguards. Cringe.

We all have our own theories, I think they just can’t do anything with her tbh and most of the time they just pretend it Isn’t happening. To be fair, a lot of the time it isn’t actually happening.
A poster turned up here recently who said they had been told Jack had been visited by bailiffs and that’s what triggered the beg blog. Family members had offered her jobs (which she refused) and IMO that’s when her parents came up with the downsizing to either one of their flats or are standing guarantor for the purchase of one.
I could almost pinpoint when this happened, there was a weekend when she was gushing about her parents and how wonderful they were. Her Mum even sent Sunday lunch across.
This is all speculation of course but it fits the facts as we know them.
Welcome. I hope you stay x