Jack Monroe #390 Jack just behaves strangely in a bungalow

[Pocahontas]

Congratulations to @Slop n slide for nominating @jenny2603 's words for the thread title! You both win a used sofa and some PJ bottoms bought from a festival (missing the label).

Jack spent the night on the sofa because she has given up her room to SB, who lost his room to storage for the house move in six months' time.

She had two friends in the ICU after eating her lunch (hahaha, joke), but Mark Lewis may or may not respond to her pleas for a defence lawyer when she's up for badly egging a bread. She also concocted a 'no sugar' one-pan self-saucing pancake.

She made another list after her stocktake. What's the matter [burger] babe? You haven't touched your chicken liver, black pudding, lentil and blue cheese lasagne.

She made some political commentary, I think? Please add to the recap!

Please read the wiki if you're new, there's some useful links for newbies. Please use the words 'thread title' so it's easier to search.

 

[Pocahontas]

I've just re-realised while adding the link to the photo of her sofa that I have the same cushion as her.

 

[jenny2603]

I am delighted to win the honour of a thread title and am now looking up old school teachers to have a very long last laugh at. Yes, needless to say Jenny Numbers triumphed over everyone I made up in my head who told me I'd never amount to anything and to shut my legs.

Paypalos and cashos to the usual places

I now have a pro bono lawyer and the protection of Celebrity Squad. Warned!

 

[Onestorytoomany]

i have a burning question, why hasnt she slept because her friends are in ICU. I mean if she lept her phone handy they could call her if something happened? What can she do? She is not a dr. So it was pointless her staying awake.

 

[Smeghead]

I am delighted to win the honour of a thread title and am now looking up old school teachers to have a very long last laugh at. Yes, needless to say Jenny Numbers triumphed over everyone I made up in my head who told me I'd never amount to anything and to shut my legs.

Paypalos and cashos to the usual places

I now have a pro bono lawyer and the protection of Celebrity Squad. Warned!

I think you should screengrab the title and email it to all those people who doubted you would ever make it. Maybe make a poster of it, put it outside your old school and go and stand outside looking it as the teachers come out. Well done Jen, you do so much - you’re one of the good ones

 

[GrannyOgg]

Jack accused a fan of constantly harassing her for years because they questioned her £20 meal plan. Despite their timeline showing nothing but positive interaction with her, she immediately blocked them but did delete the tweet when the fan mentioned libel.
It turns out her meal plan isn’t a meal plan it’s just suggestions. Glad that’s cleared up.
She then went on to attack a random Canadian squig calling them an advocate of the death penalty. She had misread the tweet. The Canadian was left upset and baffled as to why any of it had happened. They appeared to have no idea who Jack was or why they had visited their timeline.
Finally she got snarky with someone who questioned Jacks claims that chocolate was sugar free and worried about diabetics using it. The squig has diabetics in her family and knew what she talking about.
Jack graciously apologised publicly and everyone moved on. It turns out she has TWO friends in ICU and hasn’t slept for three days so she Couldn’t be blamed for making mistakes.
It appears Jacks train was late to her Bristol event despite all trains running on time. There was no sign of her close protection team and it is unclear whether they travelled on public transport with her.
I am not even going to mention her posting pics of her bedroom with a few Star Wars figures that she is keeping for a homeless friend on the picture rail. She claims this is now SB bedroom and she is sleeping, without benefit of visible bedding, on the sofa.
The caravan rolls on

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Smol recap~~Jack wrote out some tasty recipe ideas including the ever-popular black pudding, chicken liver, lentils and blue cheese.
Yummo! Also some confusion regarding eggs.
Were they punk? Nope, they were pink eggs.
Not even Easter eggs, just jolly fuchsia.

Jack's train was late but also on time.
She was angry about something as well, can't remember now as she's always angry on Twitter.

 

[JJusa69]

I mean, I think the sofa sleeping is my aneurysm. Why the actual duck didn't she just leave SB in his previously rearranged room with all his toys/privacy/Xbox etc and use her room as storage and then knock herself out on the sofa
I just don't get it. .
Unless it's all performative rattling for Twitter of course.

 

[Smeghead]

i have a burning question, why hasnt she slept because her friends are in ICU. I mean if she lept her phone handy they could call her if something happened? What can she do? She is not a dr. So it was pointless her staying awake.

She didn’t say her friends in ICU are ill, I think her friends in ICU may actually be surgeons working there and are constantly ringing her for advice on the complex procedures they are carrying out

 

[jenny2603]

I think you should screengrab the title and email it to all those people who doubted you would ever make it. Maybe make a poster of it, put it outside your old school and go and stand outside looking it as the teachers come out. Well done Jen, you do so much - you’re one of the good ones

I'm just sorry the old branch of Shoprite I worked was demolished to make way for flats some years ago. I would have enjoyed last laughing the staff in that particular hellhole. That said I could spend the day informing the residents of the flats that they live on the site of a great injustice before sharing my inspiring story with them.

 

[Irena]

I mean, I think the sofa sleeping is my aneurysm. Why the actual duck didn't she just leave SB in his previously rearranged room with all his toys/privacy/Xbox etc and use her room as storage and then knock herself out on the sofa
I just don't get it. .
Unless it's all performative rattling for Twitter of course.

As others have already said there’s a huge outbuilding space, the garage and the sitting room all available for sorting stuff. There’s also space to shift work stuff into her bedroom and on the landing, or use one of the hallways for whatever she calls work (tweeting) It’s beyond nonsense and would indicate SB being barely there, except someone on here said he’s there more than it seems. That could’ve changed though, because for someone so disorganised , she seems able to flit about at the drop of a hat.

The apology to the tweeter about chocolate and diabetes didn’t read like Jack’s words to me and was out of sync with how she was expressing herself.

 

[Smeghead]

I'm just sorry the old branch of Shoprite I worked was demolished to make way for flats some years ago. I would have enjoyed last laughing the staff in that particular hellhole. That said I could spend the day informing the residents of the flats that they live on the site of a great injustice before sharing my inspiring story with them.

Sounds a lot of work? Maybe just Tweet something @ them? Or write a blog about how much this thread title has changed your life - although obviously thread titles don’t pay the bills

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Adding to recaps, Jack also showed up in this month's BBC Easycook magazine. However, it's just a republishing of her previous revolting microwave recipes from BBC good food and she didn't even bother to tell her platform about it.

 

[GrannyOgg]

The squig accused of years of harassment is refusing to do the decent thing and slink quietly away, chastened and Ashamed. They are now tackling FM, one snarky tweet at a time.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Still laughing over Jack half inching that tweet about Terese Coffey yesterday. She literally does not have an original thought in her head. Except the wrong ones.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Still laughing over Jack half inching that tweet about Terese Coffey yesterday. She literally does not have an original thought in her head. Except the wrong ones.

She even 'liked' a post by the person she nicked the tweet from. Not the one she repurposed obviously, but it just shows Jack was looking at their timeline.

 

[jenny2603]

As others have already said there’s a huge outbuilding space, the garage and the sitting room all available for sorting stuff. There’s also space to shift work stuff into her bedroom and on the landing, or use one of the hallways for whatever she calls work (tweeting) It’s beyond nonsense and would indicate SB being barely there, except someone on here said he’s there more than it seems. That could’ve changed though, because for someone so disorganised , she seems able to flit about at the drop of a hat.

The apology to the tweeter about chocolate and diabetes didn’t read like Jack’s words to me and was out of sync with how she was expressing herself.

My last flat was tiny. It had a tiny entrance hall barely bigger than a cupboard, a decent sized living room/kitchen combined and one smallish bedroom. I had to sort everything for moving, deciding what I was chucking and what I was taking. I took one room at a time, shoved everything down to one end of the room and set up a bag and box system. Boxes for stuff that was moving, bags for the bin and for charity. I would have loved more space and a special sorting room but I didn't have it so made the best of what I had. I'm not a hoarder but do have a tendency to shove stuff in cupboards/wardrobes/drawers and forget about it until it gets in my way so do accumulate more crap than I should. I appreciate Jack has a bigger space and way more crap than I've ever managed to stockpile but if she tried breaking the task down into chunks and taking one small bit at a time it would become easy. I don't want to be a positive thinking wank but it does come in handy when you're trying to move forwards in life.

This performance about using fewer rooms, sleeping on the couch and turfing SB out his room is just the usual Jack playing the martyr in the hope that someone will step in and save smol pixie from one bed flat hell. I've no idea if it's for the paypigs, Big Dave or some other IRL person we're not aware of but it's embarrassing and anyone who can't see through it deserves fleeced.

Just a speculative thing that occurs about the one bed flat, if it is a Big Dave property, might it be possible they've suggested to Jack that they'll help her get a one bed flat and give SB one of the spare rooms at their place so Jack can see him there and even stay over herself when seeing SB? They must be worried by her behaviour and it would let them keep more of an eye on her if she's visiting them to see SB. I'm sure his dad would feel very reassured by an arrangement like this and it would be nice for SB to spend more time with his family as he's approaching the time when teenagers tend to drift away a bit.

 

[Veronicaaa]

I've no idea if it's for the paypigs, Big Dave or some other IRL person we're not aware of but it's embarssing and anyone who can't see through it deserves fleeced.

Honestly, I think her furious reaction to the non-existent tweets criticising the room makeover was directed as someone in meatspace. I was thinking about the timing of the big reveal last night (because I am still confused) and realising how appalling it was to post it the night before he goes back to school. Just in case his first day back isn't already nervewracking enough, she had to show the world (including his classmates and teachers) that he's sleeping in a room with a giant teddy bear and some lube on the bedside table. I think one of SB's extended family, or his dad, objected to it.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Smol recap~~Jack wrote out some tasty recipe ideas including the ever-popular black pudding, chicken liver, lentils and blue cheese.
Yummo! Also some confusion regarding eggs.
Were they punk? Nope, they were pink eggs.
Not even Easter eggs, just jolly fuchsia.

Jack's train was late but also on time.
She was angry about something as well, can't remember now as she's always angry on Twitter.

Let's leave that list in the last thread please. It was more horrific than her boilersuit photo sesh!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Jack's liked this post, which refers to her as "a disabled person with mental health issues".