Jack Monroe #390 Jack just behaves strangely in a bungalow

[VeniVidiVicki]

Brio - it's a classical music term, 'con brio' - 'with movement'. Roughly translates as lively or animated.

In this context. In another, it’s the toddler version of Lego

 

[SpudYouHate]

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( ) Trivia. I'd hide if I knew how.
I have a photo of my grandfather (a vicar) rather obsequiously meeting her. I never met either of them though, as he died before I was born.
I met the Queen Mum twice though, once when she opened a new Sports centre in my hometown when I was at Primary school (we spelled out 'welcome' for her helicopter on the sports field!) and once a few years later, crushed behind some street barriers, but can't remember the occasion. Mostly I just remember a lot of thirsty hanging around in the hot sun, tbh.

 

[That Forensic Man]

How many roundabouts are there between Southend and Buckingham Palace?

Only 3

 

[FlirtyThirty]

I read his book 'C is for Cancer - because cowards get cancer too'. It's very moving. He was 44, I think, when he was diagnosed. Their children were very young. He had throat/oral cancer, lost his voice and had most of his tongue removed. He wrote movingly about how cruel that was as the husband of an amazing cook (I'm aware all cancer is cruel, but it was his story) I wouldn't be surprised if he endorsed Nigella having 'an affair'. He struck me as a warm, witty and kind man.

Edit to add - Nigella kept filming her TV series at their home. He encouraged her to do so for her career. I can't remember which TV series they would have been as he had 3 years or so of treatment before he died. But he appears in some episodes. He was unable to speak, eat or drink at some point during that time. But still supported Nigella. I think they were very much in love, in a happy, loving relationship.

I agree. And I believe it’s somewhere that he wanted them to get together as they were also very good friends (shame he became an abusive arsehole) I never judge people in those situations anyway because it’s unimaginable.

I also agree that it’s likely an American interview was Americanised. I was in the US with my bro once and you should have seen the palaver over him trying to order a sandwich without tomatoes. OHHH you mean TAHMAYTAHS!! Indeed.

 

[Clarends]

If Jack's been invited onto media to comment on energy statement (which she won't be cos she's been cancelled) it wouldn't happen cos media's only talking about the queen

 

[Lazarus]

Technically she was part of the ATS during the second World War but I take your point

Yes I know that - and so did many others; how many of her age are able to hang their hat on something they done over 70 years ago, though?
A question you don’t need to answer, btw!
PS, I have no strong feelings either way about the royal family.

 

[usefullyuseless]

Should that go in the wiki…?

Yes, absolutely x

 

[Onestorytoomany]

She could have just paid tribute and left it like that without lecturing people. Bet she is desperate for people to make crass comments so she can argue all night on twitter

The good news is Charlie doesnt stand for bullshit, he soon got the measure of Meg and his brother.

 

[itsnotmereally]

Jack and Slopbot May never travel together for the same reasons....

slopbot May alongside poshslob liz!

 

[Lazarus]

@SlopAmbsase isquite nifty on the cursed face app


Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll find a way

Funeral costs will be her thing. Something like that with mass appeal.

 

[Nurseali]

Let’s hope postman Pat isn’t delivering the 20,000 postcodes that she has no doubt ordered for her to catch up on Patreon while Jack’s away living it up in the Emerald Isle.

Could get quite soggy if he chucks them over her fence as it’s been raining a lot in Essex the last couple of days.

Although a pile of soggy mess looking like a dog’s dinner might be weirdly appropriate.

Are the postmen on strike today and tomorrow everywhere. Good excuse for her

 

[SpudYouHate]

I thought room of requirement was invented in Harry Potter, which would actually lead to a plausible theory about Jack's house.

How can a bungalow have stairs? Magic. How can you have a giant shed and studio and multiple rooms and still not have space? Well, some mornings you wake up and the bungalow has decided to shuffle around a bit, narrowing corridors and shrinking spaces, and the shed isn't where you thought it was. (Sometimes pets and small boys also go missing for a few days) How can you take a picture of your son's bedroom when he's asleep, but there's daylight glaring through the curtains? Well, you know, Jackwarts doesn't operate according to normal schemes of sunrise, that's why it's hard for her to get anywhere on time. It's slightly removed from the physical and temporal dimensions we understand.

Suddenly everything makes more sense. How can Jack have so much room, yet no room? How can she have no food, and yet a store cupboard that seems to constantly replenish itself with the most obscure and curious combinations? Because whenever she opens it, it's restocked itself according to its own whims. It's Tuesday, I wonder what the cupboard has for us today! Can of prunes, chicken liver, Fanta. Quick, draw up a new meal plan! This explains her 'MO' of creativity with unlikely ingredients; she's adapting to the idiosyncrasies of her haunted mansion. How is that hare statue in this room today, and that room tomorrow? Why is that elephant statue always in the corner of a picture? Well, she turns her back and they seem to scuttle around mischievously, like thrift-sale versions of Cogsworth and Lumiere.

Needs more work but I think I can get an 8-book children's fantasy series from this

Can't wait to read it!

 

[Lazarus]

Stop patronising people!!!!

Also i saw the pics of the Queen, i didn't even look at what she was wearing, to me she always wears old ladies clothes in bright colours, like certain pixies do.

I didn’t really look at her clothes either. Just noted that her stick/crook was much taller than I’d have expected it to be, and the colour of the skin on her hands, as already mentioned by another frau.

 

[Nurseali]

It's giving me life. I just want this to be a thing now- leave the low paid staff alone and complain to Jack instead.

She will be sending asda a bill for her contribution to their customer service

 

[NellieBoo]

View attachment 1562785This came up on my Instagram explore page. The page has 21k followers so I hope it’s ok to share. Bristol based (where Jack just was) random shite in a lasagne (what Jack’s just suggested). Really made me think.

Oooh. No no no. Nothing to do with Jack!

 

[thewittowoo]

Any evidence she was actually in Dublin today ?

 

[MoistenedGussets]

Having a little look at her Instagram and no doubt this has already been seen but Fraus, I give you a contender to the Pumble - the BUDINO

I swear the more dishes I see of hers, the more they resemble other cooks failures. No way would That Man serve up a dish that looks like a barrell oozing toxic sludge and say Bon Apetite..

 

[SpudYouHate]

Just a fresh reminder that Wonky B isn't Jack and never will be.

I am too busy for an aneurysm today.

'Wonky B'? I no unnerstand.

 

[NellieBoo]

Oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it was Jack, I just meant Jacks plagiarising already vile combos and somehow making them worse.

Ah ok. She's an actual SCIENTIST. Got qualifications and jobs and everything . Imagine!

 

[Pimpinella]

"They don't like it up 'em"

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Note the word "we" as in combined income of the household - there are people who are in dire need of a "how to read words" lesson....