Jack Monroe #390 Jack just behaves strangely in a bungalow

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ā€˜Zombie in aisle one, zombie in aisle one. Can management unlock the emergency copy of Tin Canā€™t Cook and bring it to security immediately, please.ā€

Deceased at this šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
 
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Iā€™ve softly, gently, forensically done a thing x


NB. Yes itā€™s all Ā£20. Yes itā€™s all from Asda. Send cashos not questions.

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I suspect that a lot of recent chaos has been directed at people who are actually close to Jack, and possibly connected to the 'oldest friend' with whom Jack is softly, gently falling in love.
Softly, gently getting pounded for six hours on a sofa paid for by Katie Hopkinsā€™ cash.

I feel that now is the time to say something that's been on my mind for a while. The problem is I don't want to be fallen out with or be misunderstood. I am nice, honestly.
Here goes.
Jack is after fellas now because she is getting too old to be of interest to older, rich lesbians. In my experience ( decades ago but I don't think it's changed much ) The elder would get great sex from a keen youngster in exchange for being treated to things. Not necessarily money but access to the in crowd, meeting people who are on the scene and popular, being taken places in cars and taxis, that kind of thing.
But these youngsters become irritating before long. They take too much and get clingy. Sex wanes. They must think anyone over 30 is grateful for any bit of anything.
She's not butch, never has been. She had a baby dyke cuteness that doesn't work at her age. Harsh, but true. Most folks move on, find a niche to be comfortable with and enjoy life as it is. Not Jack.
Oh no.
Iā€™ve said similar in the past. Yeah I think she had a certain appeal to older lesbians in the past as a baby dyke. I know some of my mates would have fancied the pleather pants off of her and probably put up with a LOT of her tit. Iā€™ve know a few couples with the Jack/Leggy dynamic. While sheā€™s still objectively attractive :sick: I think her options in the lesbian dating scene would be a lot more limited now and probably not acceptable to her. But in terms of men, she probably thinks she can still snare a reasonably well-off connected one and get a baby in her as a bonus.

But there are two problems with her plan.
1. 35 is by no means old, but at this point most people bring something more to the table than a bowl of slop. Whether youā€™re dating women or men, itā€™s unlikely to be all about looks at this point and I can think of nothing positive sheā€™d bring to a relationship.
2. Men can smell desperation a mile off and also have a much, much lower tolerance for bullshit. As we saw with Old Harold, men are more likely to respond to narc nonsense by disengaging, while Jack is used to her female partners scooping her up and trying to save her when she plays up.
 
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Jennynumbers oh yes, I thought about that. Another thought was Jack being knocked up whilst being vulnerable. Taken advantage of waah ! Send cashos for baby whose no fault it was to be conceived, etc.
There's lots of mileage in that scenario. Attention and money.
 
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If the squigs think the issues of concern relate to a pastry crust then I can only think that they havenā€™t read any of the said blogs.
 
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Husband dropped his son off at uni yesterday and they visited Asda (we don't have a local one). He spent ages last night waxing lyrical about how cheap it was while I sat there giving him the side-eye.
 
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Oh squig, if Jack Monroe was in my kitchen menacing me with five courses I would never run out of things to moan about though I'd probably prioritse shooing her out with my big garden brush and safely and responsibly disposing of any slops. I garden for wildlife and there are a lot of birdos and animalos who could be harmed by carelessly tossed slop.
 
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Oh squig, if Jack Monroe was in my kitchen menacing me with five courses I would never run out of things to moan about though I'd probably prioritse shooing her out with my big garden brush and safely and responsibly disposing of any slops. I garden for wildlife and there are a lot of birdos and animalos who could be harmed by carelessly tossed slop.
5 courses! Honestly can you imagine. Cruel and unusual punishment by any standards

Send in the UN'os
 
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View attachment 1561625

Oh squig, if Jack Monroe was in my kitchen menacing me with five courses I would never run out of things to moan about though I'd probably prioritse shooing her out with my big garden brush and safely and responsibly disposing of any slops. I garden for wildlife and there are a lot of birdos and animalos who could be harmed by carelessly tossed slop.
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View attachment 1561625

Oh squig, if Jack Monroe was in my kitchen menacing me with five courses I would never run out of things to moan about though I'd probably prioritse shooing her out with my big garden brush and safely and responsibly disposing of any slops. I garden for wildlife and there are a lot of birdos and animalos who could be harmed by carelessly tossed slop.
Jack could definitely be arsed making five courses. She does it all the time when sheā€™s got a tableful of her friends and family round for another lovely gathering in her cosy home. Can you see the food? Err no. If was all gobbled up and every crumb taken home in doggy bags.
 
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5 courses! Honestly can you imagine. Cruel and unusual punishment by any standards

Send in the UN'os
Iā€™d insist on that Gorgonzola and desecrated grape semi-fredo for at least two of the courses.
 
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I mean, I think the sofa sleeping is my aneurysm. Why the actual duck didn't she just leave SB in his previously rearranged room with all his toys/privacy/Xbox etc and use her room as storage and then knock herself out on the sofa
I just don't get it. .
Unless it's all performative rattling for Twitter of course.
Exaaaaaaaaaaactly!

In no universe ever, apart from hers, would it make sense to start moving bedrooms when there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to do so. Especially when it involves a child - that's if it does, of course, who knows.

Didn't she show a huge shed a while back that would more than amply accommodate all this staging or whatever the feck she calls it. šŸ™„

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Exaaaaaaaaaaactly!

In no universe ever, apart from hers, would it make sense to start moving bedrooms when there's absolutely no reason whatsoever to do so. Especially when it involves a child - that's if it does, of course, who knows.

Didn't she show a huge shed a while back that would more than amply accommodate all this staging or whatever the feck she calls it. šŸ™„

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Because in that scenario, when he isnt there she wont have a room. This way, once hes out the door she will have her room back to herself. Its a tragic tale.
 
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LJC - people are so confused they are picking things up and putting things back again in Asda. Squig, like the Smartprice rice that was never taken away, it just might not be there right now. Maybe there just werenā€™t enough items to put in the section. I donā€™t think even this is one for Super Mon, canā€™t you just let her breathe?
Filed under "This didn't happen". In Asda yellow sticker items are in two places: one corner of the fruit and veg section and one corner of the chilled section. And usually after 5pm. At least in my local Asda anyway. I'm certain no one is walking around looking confused about where yellow stickered items are. And how do you know why someone looks confused? It could just be (like in my local Asda) they've changed the layout again so lots of things have moved around.
 
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