Jack Monroe #390 Jack just behaves strangely in a bungalow

[SmolWarrior]

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LJC - people are so confused they are picking things up and putting things back again in Asda. Squig, like the Smartprice rice that was never taken away, it just might not be there right now. Maybe there just weren’t enough items to put in the section. I don’t think even this is one for Super Mon, can’t you just let her breathe?

Oh god this has really amused me. The way it's written, like Jack is now an emergency service only contactable via Twitter and she needs to respond URGENTLY, SOFTLY to help the good peasants of Asda Charlton out. And the depiction of these shoppers as some kind of distressed flock, wandering in bewilderment, unable to function, 'picking things up and putting things back again'

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

This is a new one…. Jack has met the queen a few times?

 

[Thank(space)you]

Just popping in to say, i used "really grates my mushrooms" as an expression of annoyance today, and only one person looked at me like I was odd. Everyone else accepted it. Secret fraus at the workplace klaxon

 

[jenny2603]

I did see that this is being debated on the hellhole this morning and thought of you tender one

Wonks is just the ultimate Jack Stan or as she is Scottish I shall say she seems to have a massive stauner for Jack. If it helps people to remember Wonks isn't Jack just repeat the sentence "Wonks has a massive stauner for Jack but Wonks is NOT Jack". I'm also prepared to accept Wonks being referred to as Jack's Stauner as long as the truth of her not literally being Jack is acknowledged. There are Fraus at SEVERE risk of aneurysm here, we must fight this with facts, logic and puerile insults.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

I don’t know what’s more annoying in that tortoise interview - her nasal voice which goes wobbly when she talks about austerity or the focal length of the camera so that she’s blurry and the books behind her are in sharp relief.

And I’m amazed she’s made it to Dublin when she was so worried about her two friends in ICU she hasn’t slept for 3 nights and last night she was sleeping on a sofa with no pillows or blanket but a massive dog.

Makes you think.

 

[Vinbisha]

Is the correct sign off "Warned! Now fuck off" or "Now fuck off. Warned!"?

It's for a work thing so need to sound professional.

 

[StatusWoe]

And then there’s this charming fictitious story that two of those “feral” foster children might well have later read. I can’t even imagine how I’d feel if I recognized myself as having been one of these two children and she’d made up this nasty unpleasantness with me in a supporting role. This is her at her most vile, and things like this are why I never, ever feel sorry for her.

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Edit:

Funnily enough, I don't believe any of this. Reasons why:

1) The 'kept my legs shut' comment - are these not the same words some Tory had allegedly said to Jack? I have a horrible feeling it might've been Michael Portillo, but that just shows how ridiculous the whole story is. The guy's far more interested in railway journeys and his weather-inappropriate suits than he is in Jack's legs. I'm not remotely in agreement with his politics but honestly, as if he'd say that! Isn't it strange that two people would repeat exactly the same words to poor Jack Monroe?

2) In these stories Jack always likes to pretend the other person was defeated by the strength of her argument and/or wit, but we're all aware that JM is a stuttering, warbly-voiced mess whenever she's in the spotlight. I doubt she gets the last laugh very often IRL.

3) Most people don't pay that much attention to people walking down the street, do they? Even if you notice someone who stands out for whatever reason, it's unlikely that you'll engage with them.

4) You can tell a Jack fabrication (Jabrication?) because she always puts herself right in the centre of the anecdote. It's a bit pathetic tbh.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

IT WAS ON SALE

Bonus squig hilarity

 

[bananapancakes]

My aneurysm:

Apologies for stating the obvious but what simultaneously amuses / perplexes / infuriates me is the way in which her Twitter minions appear to have the collective memory of a goldfish.

The banana pancakes and the diabetic recipes are my tipping point. She posts a picture of her breakfast, absorbs the narcissistic supply then, when probed any further, plucks an idea out of her arse that she will never follow through on. Rinse and repeat…

I mean it’s just so easily disproven. The last recipe she posted was the Upside Down Pish Pie 3 weeks ago and that was only prompted by AM’s Patreon expose. Even the Wikipedia page for the Vimes Boots Index confirms that it exists as a “series of Twitter hashtags” only, despite Jack’s insinuation that she singlehandedly reconfigurated the way in which the UK ONS calculates inflation. I’m not a statistician but I’m fairly certain one cannot extropolate reliable data from random shopping Asda receipts sent to a self proclaimed poverty expert by wee dafties on Twitter.

This is the extent of Jack’s EXHAUSTING 100 hour weeks! The little match girl’s bones are grinding to DUST from the sheer magnitude of this physical labour. And all she gets is enough cashos to get her a £20 yellow sticker shop once a week. The injustice of it all!

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Almost makes you wonder why she bothered

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Nice try, Jack but given how it was your choice to travel, it's still only counting as 1 hours work on the log. We will revisit your time management skills at your monthly supervision.

 

[SpudYouHate]

Did the squig interview people to find out whether the yellow sticker absence was even the reason they were looking stressed and indecisive in a grocery store?

I ALWAYS look stressed and indecisive while shopping. It's my MO.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

That’s really odd - foster children might arrive at night but it’s highly unlikely they would leave at night.
Moving to a new placement - usually in the daytime so they can settle in for night, going back to bio family, again usually planned in advance to happen in daylight overseen by social worker
I am foster placement and social work adjacent, so if anyone has lived experience please chime in, but it sounds unlikely to me.

Think the simple explanation is that Jack read too much Jacqueline Wilson as a child.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

She's sleeping on the sofa because she's a lying mad fuck

 

[colouredlines]

Boring post for anyone but committed historians -

Just a quick heads up, I removed a couple of things from the timeline section of the Wiki that were wrong. Most notably the Shutterstock photos of Jack and her son, which were incorrectly dated as being taken in late '11/early '12.

This mistake made it seem like Jack had had official press photos taken a year prior to her first media appearances, which could lead to conspiracy theories and chaos. Nope - they were taken in the kitchen with mirror tiles, which she only moved into in Sep '12. Someone got the date wrong when uploading them to Shutterstock.

I don't want to upset anyone with these kinds of edits, but there is some media interest at the moment and as you know, I love facts. Go well.

 

[Julia Edwards]

"... in almost precisely the same way I don't."

 

[GrannyOgg]

Fraus, I fucking love you.
Just over two hours after tweeting the Lee Anderson video to her timeline, endless tweets about viewing numbers, stating several times she’d get her forever home and she had a pro bono lawyer who she names, she tweeted this

I will be in thread 303 if anyone is looking for me. (I KNEW she’d promised to donate the money)

 

[jenny2603]

This is a new one…. Jack has met the queen a few times?

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Naturally Her Majesty was keen to finally meet a human being lazier than her own sister, a feat she'd previously thought impossible until Jack became a thing.

 

[HotesTilaire]

There was a fascinating audio interview posted here not long ago (argh can't remember when) where Jack talked about the foster children. She said her trauma from it all arose from her bonding with the children, and then them being removed in the night and she never knew what happened to them. She used this to explain why she had a fear of Social Services when going through The Poverty ™.
Possibly true? Who knows

That’s really odd - foster children might arrive at night but it’s highly unlikely they would leave at night.
Moving to a new placement - usually in the daytime so they can settle in for night, going back to bio family, again usually planned in advance to happen in daylight overseen by social worker
I am foster placement and social work adjacent, so if anyone has lived experience please chime in, but it sounds unlikely to me.

 

[Emmapism]

If she genuinely travelled to Dublin for 8 hours (and that's a big if) then there is no greater indicator of her 100 hour work weeks being entirely bollocks. Nobody working that much would be able to spare an entire day's travel for a vanity project.

As always it's performative busy work and I couldn't be happier that the world seems to be turning it's back on this nonsense.

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Or this...

With this ...