Jack Monroe #388 Even @3ssex Police are laughing at her

[Shawads]

Thread title nominated by a squig , highlighted by @usefullyuseless and screenshot by @Justacatindisguise

Slightly amended the local police name for....errmmm...decency

Vague recap :
Night time drama where she argued the police definitely are watching her @s, if not on the haunted bird app then Somewhere Else: as Jack so sagely noted, twitter is not the b all and end all of the Internet.
Who'd a thunk it?

Today was a waiting game for the Bristol Forwards festival on the downs.
Will she won't she?
Reader, she did.
With Jay Rayner.
Looked very happy about it too.
In a tent, wearing outdoor shoes and a timberland checky shirt, for once very appropriately dressed and sporting a new neat haircut with some shaven bits.

Ended the day on an absolute high of apparently letting her child choose his new bedroom.
New bedroom is part of a role playing living in a much smaller #futureflat although the boy will be in a bigger than double bed for the remainder of their time in The crappy (scatty ) Bungalow

The bedroom made some fraus sad because to many of us it resembles nothing any child we've ever known (or been) would choose for themselves and rather looks like something our grandparents would put us in for a rare dusty overnighter.

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my first ever new thread , please add anything I've missed

 

[Helen]

Hi all, if you want to get notifications for a thread please hit the watch button.

We tend to avoid all the "thanks for a new thread" messages as they don't add to the conversation and make it difficult for people to keep up to date.

Thank you

 

[MaineCoonMama]

We've already had a mini-chaos, I couldn't get into the new thread! I promise I've showered.

Anyway, Jack has been busy putting her stink-claws all over someone's gorgeously upholstered chair at her State of Food chat.
There was some conjecture that she was late but we have no solid proof.
She also managed to make her son's room look like a guest/spare room and showed it to her followers.

Eagle eyes @Auntyanchïoade spotted Jack's fuggo sunnies in the guest room. Well done done, Aunty. They are the same glasses Jack wore with the awful shirt which triggered a good half a thread worth of hell funny shirt memes.

Now, be excellent to each other, my tender headed dudes. See you on the other siiiidde.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Jack has managed to calm the tweeting down for most of Sunday, she’s only managed to show the world her sons bedroom and was even replying respectfully to Karl.
Looks like she went to bed in her bed that’s now SBs bed unless he’s there in which case she’s on the couch.

 

[Wooh]

Jack Monroe #387 Her insufferable narcissistic festival of tripe she keeps advertising

Yes I've moved a lot. And never felt the bizarre need to practise being in the new home whilst still being in the old one. Or put my child through this wierd nonsense. You move. You adjust. Don't make it into a bigger bleeping deal than it need be. I could almost understand it if she hadn't...

tattle.life

In fairness, haha, Jack already locked SB out of the dining room

Jack Monroe #334 Wafting around Asda like a Smartprice Ghost

No big newspaper is going to do an expose because despite her half a million followers not enough people care. 😂 I can't believe I had already forgotten her pleas to the national press not to report on....the tree in her rented garden being chopped down. Well not actually chopped down...

tattle.life

 

[Shawads]

Jack Monroe #387 Her insufferable narcissistic festival of tripe she keeps advertising

Yes I've moved a lot. And never felt the bizarre need to practise being in the new home whilst still being in the old one. Or put my child through this wierd nonsense. You move. You adjust. Don't make it into a bigger bleeping deal than it need be. I could almost understand it if she hadn't...

tattle.life

In fairness, haha, Jack already locked SB out of the dining room

View attachment 1554993

Jack Monroe #334 Wafting around Asda like a Smartprice Ghost

No big newspaper is going to do an expose because despite her half a million followers not enough people care. 😂 I can't believe I had already forgotten her pleas to the national press not to report on....the tree in her rented garden being chopped down. Well not actually chopped down...

tattle.life

Getting total Kathy bates misery vibes from the locked dining room/ studio.

 

[Wooh]

I like it here, it amuses me. I wrote us a limerick. HTH

There once was a Jack Monroe
Who caused drama wherever they'd go
Let's all relax
The problem is JACK
Let's not let them make us all go

 

[That Forensic Man]

I'm essentially thinking out loud so spoilered this tosh.

Spoiler: Narc chat

The whole premise of "would this be okay?" is sitting very strangely with me. Last thread someone mentioned this is possibly narc stuff because maybe SB told her he doesn't want to stay over anymore or something. Maybe SB told her he doesn't want to stay in that room in particular (despite the little she's done, it's just his mother's room, plus why should he give up his room) and she's fishing for reassurance. I'm a bit hypersentive to the narc aspect and going looking for backup for their side of a disagreement is standard fare. Jack heading to Twitter aka her FM source would make complete sense, despite the superficially bizarre nature of the tweet. There's also possibly an element of publicly shaming the other person which is pretty grim considering it's SB, but in the context of a narc I can 100% believe it.

Spoiler: Egg chat

Still pondering the missing eggs. Suspect she did pick up the Just Essentials 15 pack (caged) but either ditched them or put them through seperately (hence inexplicable eggs). She had the other staples (bread, milk, 'cheese' etc.). I suppose overall I'm more 'annoyed' that someone going out of their way to do a 'Just Essentials' shop didn't go back to get the Just Essentials eggs if they got misplaced (or ask for a runner to grab some if she was unable). Maybe it just bugs me because it's so... unprofessional (??) for someone so FORENSIC trying to make the point she was about the Just Essentials range to be like "yeah I lost them whatevs". But I am seeing this is a thing with Jack. Inexplicable eggs are my aneurysm.

 

[Mrs Peel]

My recap is short.

Tonight, someone is Bristol is cleaning mud off an extremely nice chair. Meanwhile, in Thorpe Bay, a nearly teenager is not looking forward to having to face his mates tomorrow.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I don’t think we know exactly what is behind the bedroom performance, what we can be sure is that there’s something. There always is. When she’s not using twitter to talk to tattle, she’s using it to talk to someone.
I briefly considered just living in the living room (open plan with kitchen) a few winters ago, then I realised I was being ridiculous just because the bedroom was cold. Also I had benefits delays so was watching the electric.
Anyway I bought a hot water bottle. The point is, Jack is a fud.

 

[That Forensic Man]

Spoiler

 

[Cookiecookie]

I'm still bewildered by the whole 'practising for a house move' thing. We've moved a few times with my daughter. Once was actually emigrating ffs. Not once did we ever do a practise run involving making her sleep somewhere else. It's so utterly bizarre, I just cannot get my head around it.

Jack likes to brag about how many house moves she's done too, and she's never gone on like this before. I know I keep repeating myself, but it's just so bloody weird and unnecessary.

 

[AyiaKnacker]

Carry over from last thread….

And I always thought a poot was a fart.

The Simpsons has got you covered. POOT TOOT!

Going back to Patreon, the £10+ levels were supposed to give access to recipes that wouldn’t be publicly available for weeks, if ever.

Depriving those who can’t afford to pay of extra slop recipes is hardly saviour of the poors™️ behaviour is it?

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Someone in the previous thread mentioned the wallpaper Jack put up - I guess it would've been that "removable" stuff you can get - although I don't know how removable that is?!

Re SBs room - why does it look like he didn't pick anything from his own room for his new room?

This whole thing suggests to me either they are going to move somewhere that's an adequate size and this is literally poverty cos play for the sympathy because it is technically downsizing. Or she thinks if she makes enough of a performance someone will rescue her.

Also re that room - if you ha stalkers would you really post pictures of your son's room.

It's stranger danger 101 and gives a creep something to talk to SB about tomorrow on the way home from school "hey Johnny, I'm a friend of your mums, she was telling me about your new room - those Lego figures look great on the picture rail, was that your idea? Do you want a lift home? It's on my way and it'll be a great surprise for your mum of you're home early...."

This is of course after he's had a day of light ribbing from his mates about sleeping in his mums old bed and not having a tv in his room.

And she had the nerve to accuse that teacher of being a safeguarding risk.

 

[Menopausal Stormtrooper]

We were also treated to the Jackonomics of decluttering....

Every day, bring 2 new things into the house, but get rid of 4. Over time (gently, softly) you end up with less stuff.

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Someone in the previous thread mentioned the wallpaper Jack put up - I guess it would've been that "removable" stuff you can get - although I don't know how removable that is?!

Re SBs room - why does it look like he didn't pick anything from his own room for his new room?

This whole thing suggests to me either they are going to move somewhere that's an adequate size and this is literally poverty cos play for the sympathy because it is technically downsizing. Or she thinks if she makes enough of a performance someone will rescue her.

Also re that room - if you ha stalkers would you really post pictures of your son's room.

It's stranger danger 101 and gives a creep something to talk to SB about tomorrow on the way home from school "hey Johnny, I'm a friend of your mums, she was telling me about your new room - those Lego figures look great on the picture rail, was that your idea? Do you want a lift home? It's on my way and it'll be a great surprise for your mum of you're home early...."

This is of course after he's had a day of light ribbing from his mates about sleeping in his mums old bed and not having a tv in his room.

And she had the nerve to accuse that teacher of being a safeguarding risk.

I was sure I'd seen a tweet about being allowed to decorate and bingo

 

[Mallerenga]

I'm still bewildered by the whole 'practising for a house move' thing. We've moved a few times with my daughter. Once was actually emigrating ffs. Not once did we ever do a practise run involving making her sleep somewhere else. It's so utterly bizarre, I just cannot get my head around it.

She's creating a massive problem where there is none, making things way more complicated than they are. It's either pure attention-seeking or worse: self-inflicted stress. If it's the latter she should really work on it with one of her three therapists on speed dial, because it's really no way to live.

 

[Wooh]

We were also treated to the Jackonomics of decluttering....

Every day, bring 2 new things into the house, but get rid of 4. Over time (gently, softly) you end up with less stuff.

This actually is funnier the more I think about it

 

[margaretta]

I don’t think we know exactly what is behind the bedroom performance, what we can be sure is that there’s something. There always is. When she’s not using twitter to talk to tattle, she’s using it to talk to someone.
I briefly considered just living in the living room (open plan with kitchen) a few winters ago, then I realised I was being ridiculous just because the bedroom was cold. Also I had benefits delays so was watching the electric.
Anyway I bought a hot water bottle. The point is, Jack is a fud.

I think you’re right about it being a performance behind the bedroom scenario.

I wonder if she is being given a one bedroom flat by family when she asked for two bedrooms (and know they could give her two bedrooms). And this is all ‘look at how you are forcing me to live’ .

 

[Jemadah]

I wish when I moved house I'd had time to mess about role playing different room layouts instead of just frantically sorting through what to throw out and then equally frantically packing the rest into boxes. What an arse she is.