Jack Monroe #384 You're churning out rinsed hoops and boiled slop, not storming the Bastille

[AndrewsDaddy]

I am aroused.

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Brian this looked bad on my screen

 

[Witchfinder Sargeant]

Jack: "I'm going to catch up on missed rewards in full!

One of the rewards: a discount code for the shop every month:

The shop:

Your shop hasn't worked for months, Jack, how can you provide a discount code for something that doesn't exist?!?

 

[Jelly Bean]

@MancBee that is exactly who I was thinking of

 

[Jelly Bean]

From 811 Patreons to 761 (so far) in one day is bonkers.
And it won't be the mythical £1 ones or I doubt they'd bother to cancel.
No sympathy. She should've closed it all down when she knew she was incapable of fulfilling her obligations. Not let it run on for years. With no addressing it or explanation whatsoever.

 

[Unrinsed_Spaghetti_Hoop]

The wee smol pixy invited herself to Dublin to be interviewed for WORK OK? Journo is doing a profile on her and she's working "behind the scenes" - possibly serving up slop to traumatised leprechauns. Initially it was a day trip. Now it's a few days. Basically she's going on holiday WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM WITH THAT SHE HAS EARNED A BIG TREAT BY NOT DRIVING AND THE PLANE IS GOING ANYWAY

 

[hooplifehero]

same squig

 

[jenny2603]

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Oh, god, that's a huge screenshot. Sorry, dickwads x

If I remember correctly, all this happened in about the space of a day. She asked Twitter if they thought it would be a good idea and they all started swooning and shrieking because St Jackie Poo did an idea in her thought potty, boom half an hour later and she's flogging them non existent pictures of oven chips to own the Tories.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

She'll still be writing it. It's going to have to be the ultimate hard luck story but she's already lied so much, I fear it will just make people (me, mainly) fall about laughing at it's absurdity. She's had most of the traumatic experiences now, are there any left?

Spoilered for length, and not to make light of ANY of these experiences at all, but I reckon she has a wall full of post it notes in the shitty bungalow each with a Guardian ‘experience’ on it, and she’s just going to chuck a couple of anchovies darts and see

Spoiler: Which one/ones she hits

 

[Valiofthedolls]

that’s between 1,866 and 6,220 cards a month she owes per month.
She hasn't delivered rewards since November 2020, which is 22 months.
Meaning she owes between 41,052 and 136,840 postcards.
I'm sure her local post office is thrilled by the news that during the postal strikes, Jack's going to be rocking up with her shopping trolley filled with tens of thousands of postcards and a shrug "ADHD amirght".

Grift Jack, Grift Jack,
Sending postcards from way back.
Oh dear, I think poor Postie’s
Gonna need a bigger sack.

Yeah!

 

[JombleWomble]

Those tweets about bed sharing/swapping with SB made me so uncomfortable. Especially in the context of all the other stuff she's said about him checking she was breathing, bringing her the lion toy when she's crying, liking her singing because it means she's not sad etc. The way she describes their relationship is not healthy at all.

This has reminded me of that welfare check that Jack described as "malicious", which I never really understood. I've (🔺️) been involved with many welfare checks over the years and even though I've seen lots of people who felt they were unnecessary, I've never seen anyone consider the request malicious before. But concerns about a child? Every day people claim those are malicious (some are TF, but not many in my experience).

Obviously this is just speculation based on my own non-Jack adjacent experience of such things but it does make me wonder if that welfare check came from someone who was more worried about SB than Jack.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Jack Monroe is totes fine with losing 46 Patreon paypigs today.

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I still can’t believe she has posted a pic that looks like she has been double dropping Mitsubishis for 5 days

 

[Yel]

Hello, Von89 here (someone reported my previous account so I couldn't post for whatever reason. Just to make it clear I have only had Von89 and this account). Hunger Hurts 2 and 'I'm so poor send *rattles tipjar* is apparently because bailiffs were at her door and she had to get money fast (according to her family member). They've also told me that Jack has fallen out with various relatives because they have told her to get a job/ offered her a job in their work and she has told them where to shove it.

Hi, you've now got three active accounts on here. No one reported your account the system detected multiple accounts and you're only allowed one.

No offense but this assuming that you've been reported is pretty annoying! That's not how it works at all.

If you have any issues please do email or post in site support. Especially if you have any evidence to back up that you're a friend of jack's that you can share in private. No offense but I've been here years and it's full of people making up "tea", so I don't trust anyone without a shred of proof thesedays

 

[Geetbo]

Hope her future landlord doesn’t see this. You’d need to take a large enough deposit to completely undo all her “alterations” when she leaves (which she will because this isn’t her FOREVER HOME sob sob rattle rattle).

Also what a waste of time doing kitchens on IKEA for a rented space. 1) you’re not allowed to refit the kitchen and 2) you’ve no idea exactly what size and shape your future kitchen is going to be.

Unless of course she’s lying. Makes you think.

I’m convinced she’s either bought it or finally guilt tripped Big Dave MBE into giving her one of his places.

 

[Mrs Peel]

I don't believe that there's a journalist in Ireland who wants to interview her. It's probably just a front for her going off on another expensive jaunt.

However, if this person does exist, I am hoping that their first question is: "So, how much do you rake in from Patreon per month?" Followed by: "Let's talk in depth about your Jeremy Kyle quote."

 

[Helatruralhome]

The thing that gets me with the patreon thing is the fact that she and Mum continued to advertise and encourage people to sign up even after long term subscribers had been left without their contracted purchases- that to me is much more criminal than just burying her head as it shows that she was solely interested in the money rather than fulfilling contracts- it's abhorrent.

 

[Unrinsed_Spaghetti_Hoop]

Hey Jack, I just took delivery of some fine printed recipes. No slop at all, ya wee jealous cunt.

 

[Katkat]

Confession: I want to see more of Glossy Jack. Because I can’t believe the fucking audacity.

 

[Tin Can Crook]

If you guys don't slow down with the threads, I'm going to start changing my profile picture to increasingly more frightening cropped renditions of Jack's head as a protest.

I'm 40 pages behind but it was interesting to see her patreon fall slightly, even if it has been a net gain. I predict that things will get more interesting next month in terms of people unsubbing. Cost of living plus anyone who signed up out of spite or to prove a point dropping out when nothing is delivered.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

This made me laugh

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Not squiggling the top one as over 220k followers. No idea who she is but the reply made me lol. And also the fact even more people are now going to search out gossip on Jack Monroe’s grift.