Jack Monroe #384 You're churning out rinsed hoops and boiled slop, not storming the Bastille

[Fitnessqueen]

Just actually been on Twitter and realised that the squig she was talking to about shredding stuff and using it as cat litter is a friend of mine. FFS.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

So Jack was now receiving A LOT of money for precisely fuck all. And still moaned on about being poor and still no VBI. And lied that everyone was only paying £1 in her usual ungrateful way.

And also moaned that whatever she IS getting on Patreon and PayPal etc for doing the square root of fuck all, it isn’t enough.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

To newbies, please don’t be afraid to ask questions, this is a friendly place and no one is going to get annoyed. I would advise reading the Wiki though, it’ll get you up to speed and it’s a treat to read, genuinely funny and very well written. While the Wiki is comprehensive Jack lore is huge and it can’t contain everything. I’ve been here a year and there’s still stuff I don’t know, I keep meaning to ask what the lilac Mercedes is all about.

On a different subject, can I nominate “she needs a boiler suit to wear when she’s boiling soap, duh” as a thread title?

 

[MancBee]

Jack, your face is melting or something

View attachment 1546846

I've finally got it...she looks like Anthony Hopkins playing Hannibal Lecter.

Boiler suit. Check.
Slicked back hair. Check.
Weird pose. Check.
Bizarre grin. Check.
Blank stare. Check.

I wonder if she's having Clarice around for a liver and chianti supper.

I haven't got the skill to do a side by side picture.

 

[Toffee finger]

My husband has just popped to his nans and sent me a photo taken in the same spot as the cursed curtain jumpsuit photo. Same pose taken on self timer with the blurry filter and it is cracking me up! I wish I could post it for you all

 

[MavisBeacon]

Just a few of the latest contradictions.
She's vegan but eats meat
She shops in thrift stores but buys two jumpsuits online
A day trip to Ireland is cheaper than a train to London
There are more but my Harold has just made dinner. Mercifully it is not slop

 

[Geetbo]

totally agree. And sorry if any of my ADHD comments have offended. I know how hard it is when your body and brain just won't let you do what you need to do. It just annoys me how Jack wheels it out as an excuse but then some fun quirky superpower the next day

It’s the best thing about this thread tbh. People can disagree respectfully, listen to the other side, then tell each other to fuck off x. Then go back to taking the piss out of Jacks cat shit fritters.

 

[hereforthereceipts]

The sad thing is that it‘s because she has no mates. No one is being her wise counsel. Maybe she really is autistic because it’s the sort of thing my autistic teenager would come up with but ) he would take about 24 hours to realise what a stupid idea it was and b) he has people around him who would tell him.

No one asked, but I’m autistic and Jack seems autistic to me. Maybe I’m in the minority there. Doesn’t matter, tho, because Jack believes and spreads myths about autism (« I can’t lie! » and « It’s my superpower too, Greta! »). I don’t care if she’s autistic. She ought to shut up about something she doesn’t understand. Nothing makes me think this is a person who is thoughtful about autism, yet so many neurodivergent accounts on Twitter follow Jack — quelle bummer.

There’s a quality to how Jack speaks and appears in videos. I must be as vague as that. There are also the lack of boundaries, the insta-relationships, this tendency to use words to shape reality, fixating on literal things and missing the point (when not being deliberately obtuse), and the self myth-making, turning daydreams into anecdotes. I could go on but it gets weirder, cough, anchovies.

I’m not saying these are autistic things at all, but it makes me think this is a person who has spent a lot of time far away in their head, who doesn’t know how to act without (awkwardly) masking, and who maybe got used to lying or exaggerating to hide not having friends or a conventional social life, or just not being able to cope with the neurotypical world. That’s something I did as a child when I was mute most of the time. I was a better liar then than Jack is now.

Doesn’t matter the diagnosis — it’s gross to mention in the context of an apology. When you’ve done wrong, it’s beside the point. If it were genuinely disability related, there would be no reason to apologize.

 

[HotesTilaire]

thank you! i knew it wasn't right!

You may recall I purchased a discounted vienetta a few months ago. I was thrilled one day to discover a chocolate bottom layer I hadn’t broken off. It was the fecking tray, made of dark brown glossy plastic. BigIceCream are bastards SH1TTERS

 

[Veronicaaa]

o
This is two separate things. The squig is talking about Jack selling her books then claiming she donated them and The kickstarter. I wish the squig had been clearer because which books is Jack actually saying she sent? The donated books ( which she claimed she donated, not the people who sold them) or the Kickstarter books. A quick look at the comment on her kickstarter will show there were a massive Amount of people complaining they never received their books.
Other wiser Fraus will have the link to the kickstarter.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/donate-tin-can-cook-to-foodbanksfbclid=IwAR0JF_FYC7vw_49_1agWMuoxMUJM47l8t0z6iyZWL8eguyvGAXumnbuVvN4

The person she's replying to has responded.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

The only thing on her shop are the art postcards that she’s already committed to sending to everyone on tiers over £3.50 and a couple of her books so any discount is largely pointless.

She’s up and I don’t believe this for a moment

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Even if it’s only (!) 20,000 postcards, it’s nearly £14,000 in stamps alone. She’s going to have to outsource printing and addressing and stuff for that number.
££££££££

 

[WolfIrish]

Such a blessing that Caroline with hands finally gave Jack access to her Patreon and emails! All hail Caroline!

 

[Mr Krabs]

Imagine those top tier Patreon supporters getting a years worth of postcards at once. The postie turns up with a van full. “Alright love, I’ve got about 5000 beige postcards for this address?” He picks one from the top of the pile. “Err what’s a Pumble?”

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

She’s still getting hassle from the environmentalists

 

[thetroll]

What are the postcards *of* please?!

Prepare yourself, I'm going to give it to you straight. There are no postcards. You may wonder how something that doesn't exist can be both high quality and double-sided, but that's the genius of it!

 

[GrannyOgg]

Patreons have dropped again. Now down to 758. Who’d have thought so many people do late night banking

 

[TbilisiPeach]

Hopelessly behind and it's probably been said before, but her Patreon wouldn't really be a grift if she fulfilled obligations. Her lowest tier has the least tangible rewards and would def be her biggest money maker (for £3.50 you are supposed to get monthly discount codes, plus exclusive access to essays, poems and art). While we all think her work is crap, I think it's fine if someone likes her 'art' and wants to support her. But the fact that she hasn't managed to post a single thing on her Patreon for two whole years is truly astounding. Whatever we may think is value for money, she really would be beyond reproach had she just posted a poem, a drawing and a short essay each month an updated her discount codes. That's literally all she had to do for that £3.50 tier.

In terms of the postcards, I pray to all the gods out there that at least one person signed up for the grifty shades tier for the whole two years. If she is serious about fulfilling obligations, she will have to write up, cook and photograph 100 beige recipes, have them printed as postcards and post them out. That actually sounds like a fulltime job to me.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Is she still posting on there? Gloss and Goss Jack is my favourite Jack .

 

[MavisBeacon]

The tiers:
£3.50 - access to exclusive patreon content
£7 - that plus 3 art postcards a month
£10 - double sided, premium thickness, A5 recipe cards with full colour photographs of new recipes which won’t appear on her website for 2 months min. One weekly for U.K. subs, sent monthly for overseas
£12 - 6 monthly art cards (it’s kind of unclear if this also includes the 4 recipe cards)
£24 - 10 art cards plus pre release signed book copies
£44 - signed framed print for first month, then mounted print every month after, plus ALL the previous rewards (am assuming this isn’t 3+6+10 postcards a month).

All subs exclude vat.

That‘s a hell of a time and money commitment even if you’re on top of it. With 18 months to catch up on, she doesn’t have a hope in hell

She’s sunk like the easy to spot submarine in a game of battleships

Coming from the past to comment on this, and apologies if other fraus have already made this point, but these patreon tiers are nuts. Far too much physical stuff, and far too often I've done a few kickstarter type projects and anything that's a physical reward has to be costed sensibly (also had to sign, pack and post 100+ CDs at times, which was Not Fun). Regardless of the time it would take her to write (and triple test??) All these new (NEW!) recipes, she's talking about potentially a huge amount of physical printing and shipping and because it's all different every week, and probably not huge numbers, you can't really do large print runs. So you have to price this stuff high. This was doomed to fail from the start. I don't believe she ever really planned how to deliver (despite her FORENSIC attention to detail and planning skillz) - was she going to print all this on her home printer?? Mental. Impossible. She should have cancelled all physical tiers as soon as it became clear after a month or two that it was impossible to deliver, ADHD or not (I don't think anyone could actually deliver that at any scale above a couple of people per physical tier) The fact she didn't is tantamount to fraud.