Jack Monroe #380 Hunger Hurts 2: Solar Lantern Boogaloo

[SendReceive]

Surprised that Jack hasn’t sounded the “send doggos” klaxon yet:

 

[Captainmouse]

Obviously there've been endless lies from Jack as usual the last couple of days, but the fact that she expects anyone to believe that she wasn't on Twitter during either of her bus/train journeys to/from her apparent AA meeting is up there with the best of them. In the last 36 hours she's admitted to tweeting whilst walking the dog (take better care of it and actually watch it while you're outside you absolute weapon, and get your eyes off your phone) AND of course tweeting directly after apparent JackSex. Of course her phone was glued to her grubby little hands during the bus ride. Make it make sense Jack.

She was waiting for 'whoever' to draft her apology

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

I’m going as a haunted engagement ring.

If no one's going as a bollock sausage...

 

[Boyo]

Smells like Teen Spirit boiled soap/Jack Slop
All No Apologies
The Man Woman who Sold the World

Spoiler: Lyrics - Spoilered so as not to take up room

Jackie

Jackie wants a burger

Think I should just wash her first

I think she wants some reason

To get out of doing owt

Isn’t me, have some C

Let me clips your dirty nails

Let me take my pride, lost in yourself

Needs some help, can’t help herself

Got some soap, you must be told

Promise you, you smell like poo

Let me take my pride, lost in yourself

Needs some help, can’t help herself



Jackie wants a burger

Maybe she could ruin some food

She asked me to underwrite her

A CCJ would be nice for a few

Isn’t me, have some C

Let me clips your dirty nails

Let me take my pride, lost in yourself

Needs some help, can’t help herself

Got some soap, you must be told

Promise you, you smell like poo

Let me take my pride, lost in yourself

Needs some help, can’t help herself



Jackie said

Jackie says her joints hurt

She just not good on tv

She caught me off my guard

Amazes me the will of grifting

Isn’t me, have some C

Let me clips your dirty nails

Let me take my pride, lost in yourself

Needs some help, can’t help herself

Got some soap, you must be told

Promise you, you smell like poo

Let me take my pride, lost in yourself

Needs some help, can’t help herself

 

[Justacatindisguise]

You put it much more eloquently than I did dear heart (Agree about the landlord thing with her grandad, the fact that she has the bare faced cheek to slag off her LL is quite something.)

It does make me wonder if her grandad left her anything at all? Do we know about this?
It’s obviously she thought she was entitled to a house (god knows why) and feels resentful and cheated about it, surely there’d be a sizeable chunk of inheritance for all of them though? That is an inconceivable about of money to me, I wonder if she pissed all hers away and where it went.
She’ll probably say that the only thing she got was that pan and it was the only thing he had left or something so we’ll never know

None of the grandkids were named in the will. Grandma (still alive) got four houses and the four kids got one each. Any money was to be re-invested.

Pretty standard stuff in my experience, my grandparents did the same. Except they didn't have 8 houses.

 

[ChickenPorridge]

The petty ninny in me just loves it when her stupid little threads get a pitiful amount of likes I wonder has that been enough to bring her back down to reality and have her log off for a while. That, or she's 'rolling around in bed and bliss' again. LOL. Why do none of her alleged experiences ring true. Sounds like what she thinks it's like from watching telly.

 

[WaffleKent]

Err… if she’s reluctant to be in the public eye, can’t she just leave the public eye? And get a job.

Who will tell the poor to rinse their hoops then? Hmm?

 

[Sparemethebollocks]

Uh pal, she wasn’t just top in her school. She was one of the top 100 pupils in the country!

View attachment 1540256

So the 6 hours of scuttling was just JM literally getting her itch scratched

 

[Edie Po]

I bobbed in Tesco's and have found some new traaaaazers for Jack. Camouflaged AND cargo pockets? So you Jack.

Spoiler: Fugly Jack Fashion

View attachment 1540356

She can't afford them ..She's Poor !!!!!!!!!

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

The petty ninny in me just loves it when her stupid little threads get a pitiful amount of likes I wonder has that been enough to bring her back down to reality and have her log off for a while. That, or she's 'rolling around in bed and bliss' again. LOL. Why do none of her alleged experiences ring true. Sounds like what she thinks it's like from watching telly.

A narc loves being right and the sound of their own voice. Jack needs to lose her voice and ability to tweet. The world would be a happier place without the nasal whine and over the top misery tweets.

 

[Wooh]

Waaaiiit, she’s with someone else already?

Considering she seemed to fall quite hard with the last one and he ended it so abruptly, wouldn’t she want to take a minute to get over him before dragging someone else into the mix?

Jack, I get why rebounds are a thing, I really do, I’m sure it feels nice right now. But ultimately it’s not fair on either of you - or SB! Slow down!

"The back of one is the face of another" is a deliciously catty phrase my friend's mother used about THIS KIND OF THING. Always made me laugh; she was so disdainful of a chain of SERIOUS BOYFRIENDS.

In Jack's case, there's the added enjoyment of her two facedness to take into account.

I just like the saying, and your post reminded me

 

[moldwarp]

She’s asked him to post that. Possibly begged tbh

That actually….would not surprise me.

she’s got form for begging peeps on SM for support when she’s under the cosh

 

[bladiesla]

Uh pal, she wasn’t just top in her school. She was one of the top 100 pupils in the country!

View attachment 1540256

Hehe, I once used that Jay gif in a work Teams chat, hoping it wasn't monitored by HR. (Wasn't regering to myself with said GIF btw, but too the vibes I was getting from someone, like here).

 

[Mr Krabs]

She must have popped a load of ducolax to be spouting that much shit and to need to be on the twitter toilet all day


I was brought up middle class.

But I would say my kids are very much being brought up working class because of circumstances

Probably just a Get Up & Go Smoothie.*

*Actual Monroe recipe with an intro that implies it’ll make you shit yourself.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

When is she going to pull out 7 year bitch and babes in toyland that what i wanna know?!

She'll have used her narc charm and manipulated him into saying nothing.

 

[Claymorekick]

Isn’t it amazing that with TV corporations not paying travel and paying a measly £50, the pandemic screwing up all of her earnings in 2020, she could still afford to visit all the places listed in her Google reviews, and stay in fancy hotels. Makes you think…

i thought exactly the same, one definitely stood out which was a restaurant in Cyprus I know she may have family out there but it still

 

[Edie Po]

With the amount of work she does behind the scenes, are we sure she's not the Wizard of Oz? He was a con artist too!

He was always scampering about and blowing his own trumpet

 

[HotesTilaire]

God yes, forgot Helmans. Is there a wiki page on this? can't see one

Netflix, Samsung laptops...

 

[binkbonk]

Neve. Snijeg. 雪 Neiger. Schnee. Kar. χιόνι


Snoooowwww.

Nevermind Hole, she's been inspired by 50 Words for Snow

 

[Orphan_Black]

But they aren’t gathered at the bottom with elastic. Not good enough.

She can turn them up to make them into shorts