Jack Monroe #365 I suggest you delete your Tweet

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

Panic over, fraus. She's forgotten about it already.

 

[Geetbo]

The fuck is this? View attachment 1505773

Mm dandruffy bits.

And the word's first knife/anal bead combo.

 

[DisgruntledGoat]

It was @DisgruntledGoat who found the evidence, but it's squigged. Have you got an unsquigged version?!?!

View attachment 1505917

I don’t have it unsquigged but it wasn’t the ~debait~ account, it was the Stranger Things-themed one. That account changed its header picture to my avi and posted about me trying to guess my Twitter (you were wrong btw), which is definitely completely normal behaviour, then changed its @. Bri posted some stuff from them the other day but I was BUSY and too far behind to reply but there are two possible scenarios at play:

either Jack is cycling handles on socks (tragic)
or she has some seriously weird stalker types batting for her (also tragic)

Interesting how the ~debait~ account has the exact same syntax as Jack when asking people to point out the exact sentence in a blog where Jack said something, or deflecting. “Show me where I said that”. Makes u think.

 

[Charitas]

Not to but when I managed a homecare team in a deprived bit of the city centre we spent a great deal of time explaining to clients that accepting the help needed wouldn't leave them out of pocket as they would be entitled to attendance allowance which in most cases was slightly more than the means tested cost. In fact they often ended up being slightly better off as they were often eligible for pension credit and didn't realise they could apply. I sincerely hope no one has been put off seeking help by Jack's take on it

 

[Orphan_Black]

You've got to hand it to her, serious questions are being asked about her honesty all over Twitter and she carries on regardless, yet is mortified by some Tweet about beavers. She's a howling idiot.

Counting jumpers and pans, acting like charity shops accept smiles as currency.

It doesn't matter where you bought something if you live beyond your means.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Molly tweet incoming…View attachment 1507270View attachment 1507271

Molly writes really well, makes u think ey!

 

[Wood Spite]

Omg…but touchscreens only work with fingers…

SHE HAS CAROLINES HANDS IN HER BAG!!!

I actually went and checked her three weird tweets to see if they said "sent via Twitter for iPhone" ahead of her getting out of this lie by saying she was using a Nokia. This is what I've been brought to, send help.

 

[Walkdengirl]

To be fair my phone did recently pocket text my Mum with a message that just said ‘Ma.’ and a load of gifs of the rat from ratatouille.

I tuck my phone in my bra and once accidently signed up for Amazon music.

 

[Five hundred dogs]

Mr Dogs and I (and the actual dog) are on a UK road trip from Kent to Aberdeen and back. I feel like everywhere I go Jack is haunting me, we passed Southend, but too far inland to detect any lingering honk, stayed in a hotel near Redcar then drove past Edinburgh. This morning the hotel had granola on its breakfast buffet, I’m fearful that Mr Dog’s relatives who were are visiting today for lunch may be about to break out the rinsed hoops and tea shandy.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Can I have this on a mouse mat please?

Spoiler: But you wrote it on a Nokia?

View attachment 1506968

Take your pick.

 

[Bugger13]

When you’re ‘decluttering’, you get rid of stuff you don’t need. It’s hardly fucking brain surgery yet Jack wants to buy a book about it, adding to the 3000 unread books she already has.
This message typed itself btw, made the mistake of dropping my phone in a puddle. I was too busy grabbing the pizza oven floating on its surface to realise that the damn phone was composing its own message.

 

[Sideboard Bob]

ETA

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Whatever happened to the Ooni pizza oven

What. An. Absolute. Fucking. Waste.

 

[BlendedSlop]

Has she finally stopped tweeting yet? Didn't she say "Goodnight" at about 10pm?

And what in the everloving fuck were those trousers? Was she en route to a Bay City Rollers gig?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

6 months is about the time it takes to buy a house from offer accepted to completion.

Have never bought a new build but imagine they would have a completion date however many months in the future, too?

 

[Brian Butterfield]

But, but, but didn't you say last night you don't lock your phone, Jack?

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

View attachment 1506046

why have you continuously failed to turn up to booked engagements or have arrived, poorly prepared, to others during this period of sobriety?!
You have never been less reliable.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Lazarus]

Why does she always dress like a child who got into the dressing up box? She has zero style, it's all so inauthentic.

She doesn’t really have any style, does she? The laces are evidence of this. If the laces were too long, the first thing I’d have done was buy shorter ones.
I like the trousers and would 100% wear them. I’m a fan of this length of trouser and I’m a fan of taking things to a seamstress to have them altered to your style or shape. I buy full length trousers and often take them to have them shortened to this length as I think it looks nice with the style of shoes or boots I wear.
the waistcoat adds nothing, the shirt and blazer make it look like she’s trying to badly wear a suit and the whole thing just doesn’t work.
Unless she’s comfortable with colour/pattern clashing, she should have perhaps opted for plain black/navy merino wool crew neck, black flat/low heel ankle boots. Blazer or mac. The trousers would look much better that way, I think.
the trousers are ankle grazer length, also look to have a turn up which could be unpinned herself or taken to a seamstress if she really isn’t keen. That would give about an extra 3/4 of an inch.

ETA: pic

 

[Emmapism]

I'm really feeling for the person who went to Jack for help. Imagine the panic of not understanding the letter and (rather than calling a number that doubtless would have been on said letter) having your Twitter pal also misunderstand it in front of an audience of half a million people.

I wish we knew who they were so we could tell them not to worry and that Jack is a big idiot who can't read.