Jack Monroe #365 I suggest you delete your Tweet

[Shimmering]

WOOD NEEDS TO BE SEASONED, YOU RAGING TRUMPET.

This sounds like the basis for a new Jackslop

 

[Knit one Pearl one]

Why is getting rid of a BBQ decluttering? Don’t they just stay outside on the patio? She could probably take it with her. Also she’s so sly saying “my freezer” like she now doesn’t have one.
It’s neither a moral virtue nor a personality quirk to feel better when you’re not sitting like a dragon on your hoard of 6000 cashmere jumpers badly dyed black and tiny tiny spoons and sixty freezers and a bbq and some diamonds somewhere in the heap.

I don't believe a word she writes. As you say... BBQ.

 

[MooBelle]

Agreed.
The 6 months refers to her being chucked out of the shitty bungalow. She thinks she can just waltz into a small flat in February.
She keeps saying 1 bedroom flat because she thinks that's where poor people live.
Also agree that it is highly likely Big D is sorting a new place for her. Maybe as guarantor or moving her into one of his properties.

Mini grunk this morning and a few thoughts

6 months seems to be how long she says she has on the lease, so I think that's why she is fixated on that date.

I think she's probably being very naive about the rental market - it's changed drastically since she was last looking and I get the impression she thinks she'll be able to move straight from the shitty bungalow into somewhere new. In reality she'll really struggle with her credit history, 2 pets and a lot of landlords won't let a house with 1 bedroom to an adult with an older child (if she keeps up the fiction that SB is living with her)

I also wonder whether the 6 month thing is performative (what isn't with Jack) as a sort of count down to her lovely life being OVER and her being forced to return to poverty. A tip jar rattling in the background.

Or she's playing the long game - she won't be able to find anywhere and the landlady is going to try to TRAP HER in another two year deal, rather than letting her shift to a rolling contract.

I think all the stuff about "making things fit" is more about making sure people know just how SMALL her new place is likely to be. Rather than having a specific place in mind.

Agree with others that her admitting to having so much stuff when on the bones of her arse won't be a good look.

I wish she wouldn't use it the term hoarding so flippantly.

Sorry for the random capitals, was challenging my inner Jack.

 

[Orphan_Black]

Big whoop, you’ve still got two other freezers.

Did she send the frozen fishies off too I wonder?

 

[Bugger13]

Has Jack had her teeth done (veneers or something?). Old photos show a lot of gum when she smiles but now it’s gone. Or is that lip fillers somehow doing that?

 

[FrumpyCat]

28th May 2020: I HAVE NO CHILDCARE
29th May 2020: my son is with his Dad - we split childcare (on live TV in response to Ruth and Eamonn Easter Island Holmes)
But literally can't lie.

I think Jack explained this as the shared care was co-parenting. As this was very obviously not the same as help with childcare, Jack had NO HELP with childcare.

 

[Semi_literate_bot]

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Heckin Big Declutter is going well then

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Her mates are going to have to drop a thermos of soup and some Pringles outside the toilet door at this rate.

I read that as “a thermos of soap” and

 

[Lazarus]

Currently grunking so not sure if this has been mentioned already...

If she loves all her belongings that much and she's downsizing temporarily to save to buy, why doesn't she put it all into storage?

I realise that it would cost but if she's been forking out/affording 90% of her income on rent all this time, surely she could factor in the cost of a cheap storage unit with the money she'll be saving?

I suppose that wouldn't pull at the heartstrings so much though

( side note - I always think of Pharell Williams Frontin' when I see grunking and sing I was just grunkin' in my mind)

Pharell Williams not my usual type AT ALL but would let him rinse my hoop any day of the week. 10/10.

 

[RaeRae]

My aboslute dream would be to hire a skip and bin most of this house. As i have gotten older and lost family member i have come to realize that most of the stuff we keep is pointless. Ky dream woulf literally be pretty much an empty house.

I always say I would love to do this too

 

[ForgettyBetty]

Re the bag tweets - my first impression was that she had had a paranoia attack and imagined the beavers pages (or however she ended up on them) were a sly dig at her. She then replied in a "coded" way that she thought would make sense to the person she thought was trolling her. We can never know what her phone was doing at the AA meeting, or even if it was there, as they're anonymous innit.

 

[FunnyFuneral]

Pharell Williams not my usual type AT ALL but would let him rinse my hoop any day of the week. 10/10.

I feel the same about Snoop Dog when he's sitting on that big motorbike on the old Just Eat advert (swoon)

 

[Walkdengirl]

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I hope they don't try and burn it this winter, it needs a year or two to season and dry out otherwise all you are doing is heating up the water in the wood and the heat output is dire

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Do we think the landlady knows yet that her firewood is potentially being stolen?

 

[Captainmouse]

Not poor and not a millionaire are two wildly different things.

That would include many of us here

 

[CabalofBolorneaise]

Would be a bit worrying if somebody looked so indistinguishable from their brother that their partner couldn't tell the difference up close when they were female now, wouldn't it?

I think she’s now desperately hoping someone on Twitter says this, or the obvious 6ft thing - so she can say they’re transphobic or start waffling on and on and on about passing privilege as a deflection. It’s part of her game.

 

[Swisspea]

Everyone else• is wrong

•who have reading comprehension skills

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Buckle up fraus the sentient phone’s off again…….

 

[Incywincy]

It's a shame Molly didn't include Jack's name in the tweet as that post won't show up in searches unless quote tweets include it, will it?

 

[missbct]

So what time did Jack actually go to bed in the end then. I mean it was cooler last night so maybe she needed to heat up baking trays in her oven to make it ~cosy~.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Ok who’s volunteering to get ‘This tattoo is upside down ON PURPOSE’ tattooed on them upside down?