Jack Monroe #365 I suggest you delete your Tweet

[daisymay30]

Comments OPEN Lights ON

Lights are on but nobody’s home.

 

[Shimmering]

“Don't be fooled by the rocks that I got
I'm still, I'm still Jack from near three council estates.”

Thread title?

 

[metroglide]

Vlad is totally AT IT tonight!

 

[SweetTransvestite]

Nicky wicky woo, woo!

"And what was your winning slogan?"
"Never, ever, bloody anything ever."

Actually, that would be a bloody marvellous tagline for Jack's Patreon.

 

[Pimpinella]

I thought asshat was very old hat? It's from the 90s. What next? Zoot suit? Rad? Cowabunga?

 

[Orphan_Black]

I know she’s not the brightest but really? This required help re assembling?

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:/ the discrepancy between his toys and life versus hers is so sad, even when she’s trying to stunt it’s horribly glaringly apparent.

They're not all red bricks either!

 

[LavaFlake]

Good Lord, my band of nefarious asshats, I've just found another NEW Jack Monroe sock account.

I wish I could screenshot the name, bio and cover photo as it's so blatant.

ETA, actually here is the cover photo.

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Any clues dear heart? What have they been commenting on.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

Tbh I'm disappointed AM has dropped a teaser. She's giving Jack a heads up on what's in the big blog and giving her chance to 'right' wrongs by tweeting shit and covering up. We've seen the 15 minute cook by match light bollocks to try to compensate so far, and her squigs are lapping that up.

The long game of holding off and Jack's arsehole sweating at what exactly AM had to reveal was sweeter for me.

Although, hopefully, they'll be a mega mic drop with the actual blog...unseen footage and full on . AM can obviously write and her research is on peek, albeit from our collections.

Look forward to seeing it. Shame they felt the need to drip feed.

I'm kind of hoping that little snippet is a good enough shot across the bows to scare the shit out of Jack and send her spiralling so she reveals her true colours even more. She's gonna be tweeting 27 hours a day now trying to Bury that opener from Molly

Hopefully it gets loads of retweets with her tagged and her name.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

This whole time I've been envisioning an asshat as some sort of sombrero that one wears on one's arse but it turns out it comes from having your head up your arse i.e. wearing it like a hat. Truly every day is a school day in these threads.

It usually means that, but can also mean this.

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Is the still blethering on.

The social care thing is steep but like i said its means tested and if you dont have assets its covered by the council. Its seems steep but to be honest, when you get to the point of needing care why shouldnt you pay for it if you can afford it. I dont get holding on to it for your nearest and dearest, your earned you should be at least allowed to spend on yourself to be looked after in old age, if your family cannot do it. That's my opnion anyhoo.

 

[PowerliftingOtter]

Big day for Jack, latest Inflation figures just announced, eeeek it’s risen to 10.1% ! Martin Lewis still on hols, Jack will be wanted by the media to provide us with answers, and the Squigs will be clamouring to see the VBI I expect, although some are already using it accordingly. Probably the Beta version, hopefully the rest of us will get a glimpse of it later today

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What complete nonsense. Sounds like SB has been left in charge of a sock account!

 

[Just Lou]

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Sorry, but so shocked at just how much work she's had done to her face!

Woah - her mouth is a whole different shape.

 

[Don't Panic]

Currently grunking so not sure if this has been mentioned already...

If she loves all her belongings that much and she's downsizing temporarily to save to buy, why doesn't she put it all into storage?

I realise that it would cost but if she's been forking out/affording 90% of her income on rent all this time, surely she could factor in the cost of a cheap storage unit with the money she'll be saving?

I suppose that wouldn't pull at the heartstrings so much though

( side note - I always think of Pharell Williams Frontin' when I see grunking and sing I was just grunkin' in my mind)

I’m not sure if it’s from years of making mix tapes for every life event as a young Fraulein, but increasingly I’m finding myself thinking of songs to add to a playlist that celebrates JMs ‘foibles’. Would musical Frauen wish to help with the list, which I will FORENSICALLY compile (at a vague point in the future).

May I offer for starters the obvious ones:-
Goo Goo Muck- The Cramps
Shit Arm Bad Tattoo- Half Man Half Biscuit.
Money For Nothing- Dire Straights
Doctor, Doctor- Thompson Twins
Money- Flying Lizards
Shoplifters of the World Unite- The Smiths
I Touch Myself- The Divinyls (for self love Jack)
Fake- Alexander O Neill

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Grunking from the recent past to say, you need to let wood dry out for about a year before you can burn it. Is she going to cart all of that to her teeny one bed flat? And said flat has an open fire?

She will probably will dig one out of the walls with her barehands and boar a hole in the roof for a chimney with one of her rusty spoons. She will fireproof it with all the unsent patron photos.

 

[Archduchess of Luxembourg]

I feel like paying for a land registry search of the shifty bungalow but I have probably triangled the wrong one so that would end in disaster

I think somebody already did! I vaguely recall that it showed that the owner wasn't a family member.

 

[TankGirl]

Omg…but touchscreens only work with fingers…

SHE HAS CAROLINES HANDS IN HER BAG!!!

Forensically genius my dear

 

[MooBelle]

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She has two wood/coal burning fireplaces.

 

[Helatruralhome]

Mm dandruffy bits.

And the word's first knife/anal bead combo.

#bitgauche

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

I think it is. There's no way Molly would include everything she has in that drip feed. Something tells me she has info that we're unaware of.

Agreed. And it also takes away "hatchet job" as an argument/defence as Jack can gather the unequivocal evidence to refute those initial points Molly raises.

Oh hang on.........

 

[Orphan_Black]

Is the shadow behind Jack number four her lingering honk?

Nah, just me being a lazy arse.

(Magic select despises Jack's hair, and it always leaves her eyes and teeth out. Even Magic Select knows those eyes are dead )