Jack Monroe #363 I regret to inform you Jack Monroe has done another tweet

[Cookiecookie]

I couldn’t do it, couldn’t listen to it all. As if anyone who saw a person with a walking stick would ask “where were you injured?” - give me a break!

She’s less nasally to be fair.

I can imagine they would tbh. Girl at work has broken her foot (stepped off a kerb wrong!) Customer asked what she did, then told her it was her own fault for being so tall. People have no shame about asking stuff they've no business knowing.

Anyway, Jack's bread looks and sounds awful. I'd feel quite nervous she'd ask me to try some in front of her and would have to think of a dramatic sounding lie to get out of it.

 

[Lazarus]

Here you go lads. Nom nom
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Boil then simmer for 20m until the peaches are soft?
they’re tinned. I admit to having not eaten tinned fruit since childhood but I don’t recall it needing over 20m of cooking time to soften it.
also imagine putting that sweetened syrup in to temper the heat of the spices?
Turmeric isn’t spicy, neither is cumin or coriander and she’s using two pinches of chilli flakes. Hardly a hoop rinsing vindaloo, is it? duck sake.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I can imagine they would tbh. Girl at work has broken her foot (stepped off a kerb wrong!) Customer asked what she did, then told her it was her own fault for being so tall. People have no shame about asking stuff they've no business knowing.

Anyway, Jack's bread looks and sounds awful. I'd feel quite nervous she'd ask me to try some in front of her and would have to think of a dramatic sounding lie to get out of it.

Ah that makes sense - because she had been talking to the Marines, I jumped to the conclusion that when they said “where”, they were asking assuming she’d been hurt in the line of duty!

It’s just her being tricksy with her words again I think, they probably simply asked “what happened?” and she’s inflated it in line with her ego

 

[Falkor]

I agreed, I did enjoy this comment about the recipe on Nigella's website

"We didn’t have fish fingers so substituted some roasted squash - and used cavalo nero kale instead of spinach. it was so tasty! Will be making this regularly"

"Susan, it's a fish finger recipe."

 

[Upthisweek]

Hey you beautiful Frau! Just popping in to say I'm volunteering at a big branch of TT down South and nobody has ever heard of our Jackie. No dodgy books of hers floating around or ever given out either. She's not as popular around these parts as she thinks.

 

[Cookiecookie]

Ah that makes sense - because she had been talking to the Marines, I jumped to the conclusion that when they said “where”, they were asking assuming she’d been hurt in the line of duty!

It’s just her being tricksy with her words again I think, they probably simply asked “what happened?” and she’s inflated it in line with her ego

Oh, that's certainly possible - I just cannot bring myself to watch her performance. I can deal with almost anything, but not that

 

[Thrupennysquits]

So just checked and it was the Victoria Freeman post which JK liked.

and just to give some perspective JK was publicly tweeted at to say ‘you are next’ when she expressed her thoughts about the salmon Rushdie thing, Jack constantly complains about abuse but it seems to be just piss takes where people constantly send dangerous threats in JK’s direction.

sorry I know this is only slightly on topic/off topic but thought it was worth mentioning.

Yes to thisJack instigated some abuse to JKR (I’m not sure where the screen shots are, it was earlier this year, oh cleverer than me Fraus) She waded in without a coherent response to back it up then deleted. The flying monkeys as usual jumped on it. Freedom of speech is so important, Salman Rushdi is so important, to Jack going viral is more important than people. I was absolutely mortified at the time, you might not always agree with what people say and unless it’s hate speak/coercive/indoctrinating then they have the right to say exactly what they wish. Unfortunately Jack slipped into hate speak territory with that tweet, then tried to bluff it out before deletion. That’s one of the reason for me being here, how shameful for someone to use their work platform for bullying for likes.

 

[Terrible]

Fuxache - none of these ’recipes’ actually up yet? I was looking forward to pepperami and pomegranate porridge this morning

 

[Boyo]

Oh, that's certainly possible - I just cannot bring myself to watch her performance. I can deal with almost anything, but not that

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Fuxache - none of these ’recipes’ actually up yet? I was looking forward to pepperami and pomegranate porridge this morning

I hope you're using holy water instead of milk.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

@Veronicaaa's recent post about book 7 and Jack's tips on repurposing hair, tumble dryer fluff and bubble wrap reminded me of this...

Jack Monroe's Thrifty Kitchen. Coming soon. Maybe.

 

[Cucumberthunder]

unpopular post from someone who's lurked here for ages. but that account should have left it as one viral thread & retired rather than go on with diminishing returns. the attachment thing here shows over 2000 people reading tattle life & the only people being reached now are probs people from tattle & not new. running an account purely to talk about jack & to repeat stuff from here & retweet several other accounts dedicated to talking about n trolling Jack isn't a good look and takes away from people discovering the viral thread. people that still insist jack is a saint will carry on nonetheless.

I'm torn, I kind hoped that the sheet amount might cut through, but that first thread clearly shook Jack. I wonder if she's got anything else up her sleeve

I do like how she doesn't wade in like some others, she presents her facts then leave

A selection of views on Jackie on Twitter this morning

 

[Hollaaa]

Saffron. The most expensive spice in the world. Per kilo, more expensive than gold. A beautiful flavour and should be the stand out flavour in a dish. Imagine being so poor you could bake saffron into a loaf and then mute out its flavour with coconut milk.

Yet again losing the eternal battle between money and sense.

 

[bladiesla]

How could you boil your ingredients then simmer them for 20 minutes in 2 tbsp of tomato purée and a ‘splash of water’? Absolute bullshitting charlatan. She never cooks any of her recipes. I wouldn’t trust her to cook me a piece of toast in her non-existent toaster. bleeping fraud.

ETA: Cocked up a simple reply to a post due to slop induced aneurysm. Send calming vibe-os.

For that black bean / peach thing, I just assume the only thing she did was change the 20 minutes to 15 minutes in the text. Like duck she triplpe tested that recipe (in a heat wave). All her 'reinventions' will be like that, replacing some cooking minutes or throwing them all in the same pot, as it will be quick and easy to replace the text (and that is IF they make it to the website). Whereas adding recipes from all the things she posted since the last book came out and said they would be there 'soon', will never come because she has not written them down anyway.

I don't care about the recipes (those slowcooker breads can be forgotten about, for example), but it's the way she pretends to do SO MUCH for the people in her 100 hour work weeks and the lying about double and tripple testing.

 

[Veronicaaa]

Holy crap these threads move fast. I'm usually on the Ingham thread which moves somewhat slower.

Gave up grunking and the will to live after hearing Jack's attempt at poetry - secondhand embarrassment doesn't even begin to describe it.

Even Rik Mayall's piss-take poetry flows better than that shite.

At the time, we thought it bore a striking resemblance to Alan Partridge's poetry



I don't understand why the children have crumpled bus tickets. Where have they been, where are they going

 

[BantzMonkey]

Jack on bake off would be amazing entertainment. She could make one of her beloved loaves of bread.

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I bet they were all hoyed straight in the bin They look like bricks

 

[Boyo]

@Veronicaaa's recent post about book 7 and Jack's tips on repurposing hair, tumble dryer fluff and bubble wrap reminded me of this...

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Jack Monroe's Thrifty Kitchen. Coming soon. Maybe.

Putting the oven on to warm roasting pans to warm the bed with. #frugalliving

 

[moldwarp]

Jack talks about loads of other people's experiences in this TedTalk. She even likens 'tightening your belt' to a man who hung himself with his belt. Sensitive as ever, Jack.

Watch her smirk throughout, she's an absolute charlatan.

Grunking but had to burst in to say thank you Orphy B for this…it’s actually horrific and I urge everyone to watch it to see the duping delight, the narcissism, the shonky melodrama and the sheer ego. Especially when you know what her real back story is. It’s dreadful, shameless.

But also I can kind of see how her ego got so out of control with this audience blowing smoke up her arse.

She really does have a messiah and a martyr complex all rolled into one.

 

[FlirtyThirty]

Can a cleverer Frau than me work out how exactly you can prep and cook 30 meals in 36 hours? And how much greedy goblin eating that would involve? How much would it even COST??

 

[Boyo]

Love that a squig has replied to her ‘461 recipes incoming’ tweet with a recipe for a 15-min tofu & veg stir-fry. Effin’ hilarious. He may as well have tweeted ‘There’s no point to what you do, Jack. We can do this without you’