Jack Monroe #350 Can you crochet a web of lies?

[Ostapbender]

This is the standard of absurdity we are usually accustomed to, Jack being implored to tell Tesco their bog roll contravenes the Vase Bum Index.

What a day, what a ruddy day!

How DO folk continue to cope with this, Jack mate? Jack?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

You will just get soap you can't get out of the bottle. Soap bars are like wax. Could be dangerous boiling it as the steam will release chemicals not ment for lungs.

The whole soap debacle just makss me think the mushed up bits would just make her smell like wet dog.

 

[Pimpinella]

I think this current bio is for the benefit of job applications. Instead of a CV Jack just points them to Twitter for a list of their previous work experience.

In the words of Sergeant Wilson "Do you think that's wise?".......

 

[MooBelle]

There are currently no icons (is that what you call them?) on her Twitter bio. Wonder what she's going to roll out tonight?

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Have we got 'Warehouse Op' in the Wiki under her jobs?
Because it is the first I've heard of it.

 

[houseofhoop]

Didn’t we have receipts that she owned a laptop at the time of her book, a laptop she’d sold in The PovertyTM that miraculously popped up recently?

Yep cos she tweeted that some guy was gunna come over and fix it for her, there was a photo any everything

 

[PuritySpiral]

The £12 a month insurance is something I can actually believe - there are plenty of policies out there with minimal per condition cover/low total cap per year/high excess/large percentage contribution per claim.

 

[domeafavour]

Lads without moderating, can I remind you that in the past we have had issues when we’ve posted a lot of screenies from what appear to be Mr T Roll accounts. Whether that be pro Jack or Anti Jack. The problems that have been caused were Mr T then going after tattlers such as tracking them down on socials/IRL twitter, posting horrible tweets about tattlers using their tattle handle. It’s not that we shy away from the “maybe a troll” accounts because they have less clout, it’s because they can, and have, turned on tattle posters because...they’re really into T Rolling.

On topic, has Big Dave been around for a word with her yet or what? Hurry up, her bones are grinding to dust!

Apologies, I didn't even look at the account. Noted.

 

[Elastoblast]

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Says the man who outed an alleged rapist on daytime TV!

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Imagine what Harold's deliciously ordinary family must be thinking at the moment?

Wonder if one of them is behind that account?!

 

[Justacatindisguise]

Well the transphobia thing didn’t work. Racism accusations next?

Towards the Mediterranean arse or Norn Irish side?

 

[Bell'un]

I had SUCH a crush on Paul Nicholas.

(And the fox from Robin Hood...)

They are not dissimilar x

 

[Pimpinella]

From John Lewis though?

Well no somewhere downmarket like Currys - like normal people go to LOL

 

[Soup or Noodle]

Thank goodness for the time difference, it’s the only way I’ll manage. That and being disabled and unable to work.

I have an empty tonight, so I may retire to bed when I get home from work

Insufferable purity scold Ana Mardoll turns out to have a cosy part-time inherited job working at Lockheed Martin, (so no need for all that crowdfunding then) and now Jack is getting rinsed? Must be something in the air this week. Toot toot

I have never heard of Ana Mardoll, trying to work out of I can schedule a quick grunk

 

[GrannyOgg]

Is trending on twitter personalised? I never interact with any jack stuff and I've got a long list, none of it jack

Squigs are saying she was trending for half an hour then completely disappeared from the chart. They are blaming Twitter.
None of them seem to realise she has did work for Twitter so it’s possible they don’t want to amplify the grifting claims.
I honestly have no opinion, I’m not familiar enough with how it works to speculate

 

[Onestorytoomany]

in amongst the arguing,

this squig is calling for the nokia to be set in resin

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and there's a faction deep in bog roll conspiracy theories

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this day is just too funny!

200 sheets per roll. Welcome squig tip jar is here####

 

[Bugger13]

Well having your product endorsed by a known liar is hardly a recipe for good sales. I suppose some maverick ad genius could devise a campaign where Jack slates the product and everyone realises it's great and buys it but it doesn't seem all that likely.

Like Mr Back to Front from the Mr Men. ‘Push the boat out’ to make him pull it in.

 

[TankGirl]

Exactly this. A brain fart. It's like when Dragons Den is on TV and I tell Mr Elastoblast that I'm going to go on it and my brilliant idea will be a self cleaning roasting tin or I'm going on the apprentice and my business idea is to set up a team of people who will come round your house and decorate for Christmas aaaand then come back and tidy it aaaaalll up again two weeks later. Yes Lord Sugar I plan to roll it out nationwide blah blah. We all have off the cuff ideas but most of us recognise that we don't have the skills, the finance or even the bollocks to do them or we recognise them as us just chatting shit. Not Jack though...she doubled down, she had a team, no she was working with the ONS, no it was just her and her phone and her notebook and pen blah blah

That my dear is genius !!!! Shall I send cashos? Doggos? Sloppo?

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Completed it mate - SB dealing with it

 

[NeoCortex]

Okay, so if we take away all the drama, the self pity, the grandiose flowery writing, the bullshit - if that wasn’t a thing with Jack - what has she actually done for poverty? What has she *actually* changed? It would be different if she was a bit of dick but you could evidence the changes made by her ‘campaigning’. Anyone?

I'd argue things are getting worse.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

Seconded - their perfumes are amazing! Also, some of the names are hilarious too.

Yet another business that will suddenly have a sudden influx of new subscribers. Didn't we do that with a soap company? ( I've just registered with the perfume company)

 

[HalcyonDays]

More to the point, they run after having done so

I suspect that the soundtrack to Jam's relationships is Mardy Bum, Arctic Monkeys.