For the longest time, I’ve always vowed that if I met Jack or had an opportunity to phone into a show to ask her a question live on air id ask how she sleeps at night. Seeing the poetry shite, I’m now inclined to say that if I see Jack or have an opportunity to call into a live show I’m going to ask her to recite at least 2 of the poetry pieces she’s tweeted.
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Yes.... I'm raging! Bollocks does she have a volume of Burns by her bed. The wee coorin shitting whippet
Shes almost sounds like she is croaking at the start she is so nasal. How can anyone spend time with her nasal whine?
Hold on, so it was not only always bitterly cold and raining in The Poverty, now it was also bleak and perpetual darkness? Where was the location of The Poverty? Was The Poverty… in Mordor?!
Wow, it's all very "The Nation's favourite poems" published in 1996 (yes, I had a copy).
Jack, there are tonnes of contemporary and brilliant poets out there. You should check them out and promote them to your billionty followers since you are such a poetry aficionado.
Try to do anything other than the bare minimum for once, could you?
Jack, there are tonnes of contemporary and brilliant poets out there. You should check them out and promote them to your billionty followers since you are such a poetry aficionado.
Try to do anything other than the bare minimum for once, could you?
Maybe this is me being a dick because my dissertation was on postcolonial literature, but Jack has the most basic, old-fashioned taste in poetry; it's all white British or American (apart from her one foray into Pablo Neruda), and all the best-known writers.
Postcolonial poetry is an ENORMOUS field, and a huge amount of it is written in English, so there's no need for the awkwardness of translation.
Basically, for our non-poetry Frauen, this is the equivalent of someone boasting about how they love music, they're so into music, they're a music expert, and their only reference points are Elvis Presley, The Beatles, Madonna, and Oasis.
Postcolonial poetry is an ENORMOUS field, and a huge amount of it is written in English, so there's no need for the awkwardness of translation.
Basically, for our non-poetry Frauen, this is the equivalent of someone boasting about how they love music, they're so into music, they're a music expert, and their only reference points are Elvis Presley, The Beatles, Madonna, and Oasis.
Picture of Jack's bedside, dust, mites and bookworms not included
I'm not a huge poetry Frau...cos some of it is bollocks...but a really good poem is like a marvellous slap in the chops from grandad's stolen Le creuset
Guess old whiffy pockets stopped taking oyster shells back home with her as well
Jack Monroe #58 Schrödinger’s Jack: simultaneously working and sleeping all hours
How can there be a discount code for her website?? I thought she put everything online for FREE! Also, you sign up to her patreon out of the foolishness goodness of your heart and the main 'benefit' is that you can ... buy her merch? Slightly reduced. To give her MORE money.
tattle.life
(posted this before but didn’t squig properly at the time. Sorry killjoy squig)
Oh god, it’s so clear how much better she thinks she is than she actually is. The humble bragging is severe.
Jack in a freezing flat, urgently scribbling poetry in to the lined p ages of a cheap notebook before the light fades. Clutching the notebook to her chest, murmering the remembered lines as a faint smile plays around her lips. Tip-toeing silently to the crib where her baby slumbers, then gently, softly singing hush little baby don't say a word Mummapappa's gonna buy you a mocking bird.
Didn't happen.
Waiting for Jack to discover the beat poets.
I love Horton Hears a Who.
I love The Owl and the Pussycat.
Jack's most treasured possessions:
- coffee table book of Sweet Nothings (or possibly a collection of scraps of paper; inappropriate semicolon makes tweet hard to parse)
- toy giraffe
- Emin
- Tiffany earrings
- Le Creuset pan (if not stolen)
- Dad's ugly watch
- camera
- Georgia Church Suppers cookbook
- Greek cookbook inherited from Dusty Aunt Helen
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- approx 734 spoons
The start of a long, long list...
I Own That! Jack is my least favourite Jack
btw I'm probably not saying this well, but "I've got a lovely copy of a collection of so and so" is like being asked your favourite spice and saying, "I've got a really great spice rack"
It's probably the only honest Jack, given the state of the crappy bungalow.
Squig: "I love Burns!"
Jack: "He's my bedtime reading!"
Squig: "I love Dickinson!"
Jack: "I have a really rare edition of one of her books!"
Squig: "I love Ted Hughes!"
Jack: "I keep his corpse preserved in formaldehyde in the spare room!"
Lord of the sodding Flies is a bit demented squig like.
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