Jack Monroe #344 344%

[Ostapbender]

I just remembered a Stephen Fry story about some famous artist who used to draw portraits on napkins when he was short on money to buy a round, then sell the napkin for . Jack would try this hack, but would it work? I can imagine her trying to flog something that looked like Dobby's hanky, complete with a poetry quote and her signature in gigantic letters

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I love the fact that Iron Maiden did a song based on it, which is described as a very abridged retelling.

It's nearly 14 minutes long.

That song was my introduction to great poetry. My mum loved poetry but I thought it was tit until I heard that song. I actually had to visit a library to find more of Coleridge's work. I've learned a lot about history, war and politics listening to metal.
Also that song has the most classic Maiden galloping riff I've ever heard. \m/

 

[Valiofthedolls]

There was a young lady from Thorpe Bay
Who enjoyed many a Patreon Payday
She bought ugly pig hats,
And made hazardous mats,
Then wondered why her OHs went AWAY

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Can a frau find the clip of her plinky plonking on the piano? One handed and looking wistful? I've tried but can't.

Obviously, I won't watch it because it's burned into my memory where I was very close to dying of The Cringe.

 

[NellieBoo]

Hang on to your arseholes.

 

[Pavlova]

She's not heard of Michael Clark's dance company then

Or Jimmy Pursey's (him of Sham 69 fame) interpretive dance which Mr Pav once showed me on YouTube. Thats who Jack reminds me of. And I hoot my head off every time

 

[Onestorytoomany]

That song was my introduction to great poetry. My mum loved poetry but I thought it was tit until I heard that song. I actually had to visit a library to find more of Coleridge's work. I've learned a lot about history, war and politics listening to metal.
Also that song has the most classic Maiden galloping riff I've ever heard. \m/

I love Iron maiden. My elder sibling by quite a few years used to play it in our home, so I knew them from quite early on and was always awed by their music and terrified of Eddie.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

I’m so confused. Are we supposed to be awed by that one-handed piano key tapping? It’s at times like this we don’t just need an eyeroll, we need a puckered sphincter emoji.

Why on earth does she post this stuff?! She’s like a three year old showing you a poo they’ve done in the toilet all by themselves that they want you to be really impressed by.

Answer: Making a twit of yourself online again.

 

[NellieBoo]

Bow to The Queen @Marmalade Atkins

 

[katycat]

'Twas brillig, and the sloppy toves
Did grift and pumble in the wabe
All crappy was the bungalow
And the groan squigs outpaid

Beware the Jackerwock, my son!
The teef that crumble, the claws that grime!
Beware the Ouchouch bird, and shun
The unrulious Labiasnatch

 

[MaineCoonMama]

I love Iron maiden. My elder sibling by quite a few years used to play it in our home, so I knew them from quite early on and was always awed by their music and terrified of Eddie.

Steve Harris, the bassist, writes most of their songs and I always think of his lyrics as poetic. Eddie's not as scary looking as Jack and her teef though, is he?

 

[Ostapbender]

I'm fascinated by the smirk as she bangs out the same note over and over again. "They'll eat this up!"
It's all very Jez from Peep Show smugly reciting duck You, Bush (sorry for the Peep Show references)

 

[Lurkeryaar]

I still have absolutely no idea what she's trying to play in this clip, but I do enjoy her head sort of bobbing as if she's really into it.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Hang on to your arseholes.

I LOVE that within the first few seconds of this video she rubs her nose, does a massive gak sniff, and then immediately calls herself a “coke book author”

 

[colouredlines]

The camera's wobbling so this wasn't even a tripod job - she forced somebody to film her assaulting that poor piano. God, no wonder they all LEAVE.

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Still waiting for the onion chopping song, but whatever.

 

[Ostapbender]

I still have absolutely no idea what she's trying to play in this clip, but I do enjoy her head sort of bobbing as if she's really into it.

Jack Monroe's Piano Concerto For 1 in the key of terrible x

 

[FeelingGroovy]

Ooh yes me, I love this show so much! I do see her more as Evie Russell, the emotional vampire that Colin dates, but Colin the energy vampire works too as she is such a drain . Also she now clearly has a hell hound . Highly recommend this show to all fraus very funny,

BAT




HUMAN FORM

 

[colouredlines]

View attachment 1440979

Still waiting for the onion chopping song, but whatever.

As Jack would put it, if you know you know

 

[Phillipa78]

I’m so confused. Are we supposed to be awed by that one-handed piano key tapping? It’s at times like this we don’t just need an eyeroll, we need a puckered sphincter emoji.

Why on earth does she post this stuff?! She’s like a three year old showing you a poo they’ve done in the toilet all by themselves that they want you to be really impressed by.


View attachment 1440944
Answer: Making a twit of yourself online again.

All I could think of during that, was my piano teacher shouting "oranges in your hands!" at me for the first few months. Also... Hands, plural. More than one hand is available for tinkling the ivories. See also Caroline with the Hands. The gammon-fisted embarrassment of it.