Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[Cucumberthunder]

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She posts with the number visible on purpose so she can pretend to be so in demand, when actually she's saved in phones across the land as DO NOT ANSWER

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[SlopAmbsase]

This is my fave cookie. I think it was the first and as such developed quickly due to absorbing the most under nail oomska. I call it Miss Malignant.

 

[Elastoblast]

Thanks for the explanation - I had to read it 4 times before it registered lol, think I get it now (sort of haha). This is why I only did accounts to trial balance!

I was thinking that, too - bet she comes back with something new at some point. Would love to know what the (alleged) meeting with her (alleged) accountant entailed! I'm nosey like that though.

Thankspaceyou Marmalade Atkins for the new avatar - there was far too much choice, I hope you don't mind me

Out of touch middle class middle aged ladies make up 90% of self funded counselling/therapy courses

Oh feck! As a sort of middle class, almost 50 year old woman slap bang in the middle of my post graduate diploma in CBT and groupwork let's hope I'm not out of touch . I may only be a trainee but I'm confident in saying Jack would NOT be a good candidate for CBT as she definitely wouldn't want to engage in homework or exploring the thinking lying behind her behaviour

 

[OwlRightsReserved]

I've been browsing her blog. In her sponsored sleep outside post she whines on and on about how awful if was for her because she used to be so afraid of losing her flat. She's never slept rough (obvs). There's also a great poem that some ninnies might not have seen yet, so tuck in! Note her "middle class" voice, clearly before she got too working class for the beeb. Why was even she on the radio?!

Girl On The Radio. Lyrics and Music by Jack Monroe.

Somewhere before the news, That another celebrity has passed away; Somewhere before the sports reports, Was the news item of the day. Somewhere between the sixties pop, And the punk and metal reviv...

web.archive.org

I've had births less painful than these lyrics.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Every time I think about “Borbora” I lose it.

Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo-Bobora Ann

 

[Soapy Dolphin]

Troll!
Or is it harassment, gaslighting, outright lies, smear campaign, bullying or just hoping they stop breathing? Oh no, I forgot that only applies to you.

I wonder where we feature on Jack Monroe’s hit list for harassment? Will she “do us” before the VBI? Too many questions about a self deluded, useless tosser.

 

[Wooh]

I'm moving house, am procrastinating madly. Thus I have finished my artistically forensic analysis of Jack's coming out as lesbian. The other day I cited x and y but they weren't her own words, so I deleted and corrected

Jack Monroe #341 The numbers on the key are upside down

The retweeting herself, especially when she's sulking because she's been criticised, is one of the most embarrassing things she does. At least it wasn’t Burglar Bill again this time. Just the perpetually endless torment/catatonic reprise of living a life beyond her wildest dreams. This is...

tattle.life

However, I knew I'd read her own contradictory words, and here they are:

Evening Standard 11 Nov 2013

No one cares when you came out Jack. It's the constant lies that suck

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jack does not understand her own country's voting system, which is really upsetting because it suggests that Jude Law was forced to sit down for no good reason.

If BIB is not the next thread title, there is LITERALLY ~NO JUSTICE~ IN THE WORLD.

 

[Orphan_Black]

He probably has a member like a raw turkey kofta now.

Georgia Suppers indeed!

 

[TbilisiPeach]

This might have been said at the time.... But also how is she going to account for changing packet sizes? Receipts don't say how many are in there or what the weight is. Unless she's written all this down too?!

Listen, she knows that CHEESE =£1. I don't know what else you want from her.

 

[purpleindigo]

The continuous posting of her phone number to 550k people is just so embarrassing my sis in law put a pic of her dog on Insta yesterday with the tag covered because she has (let me check...450 followers on a private page who are mostly all friends/family/work colleagues) because everyone knows it only takes one total weirdo to latch on to you. It's just mind boggling, ridiculous attention seeking at this point

Imagine being that desperate for drama and publicity you would court stalkers like that, knowing what other well known people have gone through. It is beyond baffling. Oh, and there is no contact number on her website, so she is lying about its general availability. She is a danger to herself.

 

[KebabGirl]

Here she is wingeing home schooling my arse
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This is actually my favourite post from Jack. Totally pointless, totally self-serving, ghastly picture, inappropriate tagging of Sunak, several lies / not quite truths. It really has everything!

When I see these posts, I know they are not spontaneous and know she was working on that caption for hours. Hours that could have been spent working. Working in Asda, Costa, even on the slop manuals. Apply the effort to things that MAKE money (as you are obsessed with it) and don't just waste time. Free advice for you there Jack.

 

[BananaSmith]

I don't believe those are thumbnail cookies but rather Pumble's little pirate cousins who have come to seek revenge on Jack for imprisoning Pumble.

(I may have watched Moana a few too many times).

 

[NellieBoo]

Her teeth sound absolutely fucking foul the shit she’s constantly writing about them

TW / suicide

Spoiler: TW

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I didn't see the part about alcohol.

Spoiler: TW Whiskey

She's a lying cunt. A decade? Fuck off. We have service users who drink those kinds of volume of spirits and have done for far longer than that. Sometimes drinking a 70cl bottle of whiskey a day to keep themselves ticking over when money is tight or before a detox. They are completely unable to function. Not claim their benefits correctly, not eat properly, maintain personal hygiene.

How the fuck has she managed to publish books, let alone do (terrible TV and SM) in this decade of suicidal amounts of over proof whiskey. You are a disgrace and no wonder you are the NPR for you child.

/SPOILER]

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

 

[Five hundred dogs]

How does she, a supposedly professional cook, manage to constantly produce baked goods which look like the reception class made them?

 

[jenny2603]

Jack, has someone told you your smile was your best feature?

It's that Carole Tonkinson, she's evil.

ETA: @StatusWoe beat me to the punch becuase she LITERALLY WANTS ME STOP BREATHING. IT'S SOOOO UNFAIR.

 

[kachoochoo]

jack, it's friday afternoon and it's been a long, weird week for a lot of us. we deserve better content than this "blah blah GREEN BENCHES blahblahblah DEMOCRACY yip yip yip INACCURATE" gubbins

isn't there something in a slow cooker you'd like to show us instead? or get in a row with someone interesting? this is boring af

 

[Marmalade Atkins]