Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

[Boogs]

Jack preparing to open some bread rolls.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

She is so desperate for someone to contact her. Pathetic.

She wants one of us to call her. Not happening, pal

 

[colouredlines]

Publicly available because she keeps making it public.

Also what work?

Ahem, this has been her busiest week of work in months. She lay in a hammock and pretended to edit, she wrote a spite dedication, she shared heatwave food tips and invented stretchy hummus, she tweeted about fire, she baked TWO kinds of cookies...and all this with her teeth crumbling and her shoulder in constant, agonising pain. A true hero.

 

[usefullyuseless]

Let’s not forget her classic recipe for Triple Tomato Soup.

View attachment 1438060
View attachment 1438062
I have so many questions, such as why are you making soup out of soup? But my main one is, why do you need to blend this? It’s soup and chopped tomatoes. Even with the ouwchiest of mouths you could drink this down.

Vinegar and tomatoes? Maybe it's because I was raised Italian but I was always told to put some sugar in for every tin of tomatoes to cancel out the acidity. I can feel the enamel coming off my teeth just reading the recipe. Oh maybe this is the origin of her teeth woes?

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Laurie definitely belongs to Jack. Only Jack would call a dog Laurie. Worst dog name ever.

 

[blurstoftimes]

please explain to me, how even your cookies look like eggs

 

[Elastoblast]

Changing the subject from the hideous cookies as they are too depressing but look at what I found in a charity shop today...a book featuring The Three Investigators. Apparently called Jupiter, Bob and Pete. But you and I know it's Jenny, Borb and Piotr

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Omg what if the vile burned but uncooked cookies were for SB to give to his teachers on the last day of term?

Everyone else walks in with wine, chocolates, quirky mugs and here comes the poor lad with a Tupperware box and melamine cutlery looking embarrassed. It really worries me that this could be true.

 

[MooBelle]

I'm watching This Morning on +1. They're doing a thing where you can ring in and they'll do a shout out to your favourite teacher.
I'm gutted I didn't watch it live because I would be sorely tempted to get a shout out for Peter Jenny and Bobra from WHSG for all their encouragement.

 

[Elastoblast]

She's just so dense. Nothing sinks in. She can only ever see her own viewpoint. I'm about to drive home from Cumbria to Scotland and I can only imagine the chaos that will happen in 3 . hours. Perhaps Jack could re read some of her drivel from last night and take on board some of what she has allegedly learned from AA. The whole acceptance and forgiveness has passed her by. And as for stirring up arguments on Twitter, she hates it if anyone criticises her opinion but it's ok for her to just wade on in uninvited. Dense

 

[auntylil]

View attachment 1432641

An oldish tweet and not from one of the usual suspects. You'll be amazed to learn, no correction came.

Wait a bootstrapping minute! She describes herself here as working class, but in the poem linked on the previous page, she calls herself middle class. No wonder we're confused (not), she doesn't even know herself what her background is! Tut tut, Jack, tut tut (or should that be toot toot?).

 

[Five hundred dogs]

I think he is a little like Jack himself, loves to get his name in the paper and has major hero complex.

He at least does something good to channel this, his daughter is just a fantasist and mooch.

I agree. I think Jack has spent her life seeing her father being lauded for his achievements and wanted that for herself, but failed to understand that Big Dave, despite the fact the I suspect is a bit of an annoying git, actually put in the hard work to achieve his accolades. I have a relative with an MBE, he’s an absolute knob but he did genuinely earn his gong.

 

[Nottonightbabe]

Tomorrow is the second anniversary of when the Greek mezze was on special at the Co_op.

View attachment 1437226
View attachment 1437219

"Raised Greek".

 

[Lazarus]

Don’t be confused, fraus. It’s still me, I’ve just updated my profile pic.

 

[welcomespins]

Here you go, dear heart - I'm sure you'll agree it was worth the wait x

View attachment 1437637

There’s so much wrong with this… whoever commissioned, edited, gave the go ahead to this bilge needs to have a long hard look at themselves. It’s baffling

 

[veronica71]

View attachment 1437189

This is not an example of an ~autistic mind~ it’s the sign of a pedantic ~twat~

Hope that helps. Go well

 

[jenny2603]

She sounds like she needs more dairy in her diet. My mum hates milk and her teeth are nice and white with healthy gums, yet they break due to a life long milk aversion.

It's just yet another example of Jack being handed a good thing in life and destroying it out of pure spite. Grows up in a lovely home in a nice area, runs it down with invented tales of childhood poverty. Handed a good quality education that the overwhelming majority of children will never get anywhere near, throws it away. Gets handed amazing opportunities to make a career in the media/food/campaigning, ducks that up at every opportunity. Has a healthy, if slightly alarming set of teeth, sits back and watches them rot out her head for attention on Twitter.

She's the most spoiled, stupid, ungrateful person I can think of. She really needs to do something funny soon because she's boiling my pumble.

 

[kachoochoo]

be warned of mentions of teeth. but I've read it and I really, really hate teeth and now I'm queasy

 

[NellieBoo]

I didn't realise Jack moved out at 16. I always thought "thrust into the world of minimum wage work" meant her parents made her get a job when she couldn't get into 6th form

My son was 'thrust into the world of minimum wage work' at 16 . By that I mean, he didn't like college, fair enough. But he was told by us he needed to do something. He wasn't going to be able to sit around in his pants, eating biscuits and playing FIFA on his PS5 . Doesn't have quite the same 'woe is me' ring to it though, does it?!

 

[KebabGirl]

I've found why Jack ended up moving out. A chat with dad that did not end well for our titular character.

Spoiler: Jack n Dave