Vinegar and tomatoes? Maybe it's because I was raised Italian but I was always told to put some sugar in for every tin of tomatoes to cancel out the acidity. I can feel the enamel coming off my teeth just reading the recipe. Oh maybe this is the origin of her teeth woes?
Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing
- Start date
-
- Tags
- Jack Monroe Threads Wiki
- Status
New to Tattle Life? Click "Order Thread by Most Liked Posts" button below to get an idea of what the site is about:
I think I can confidently state, that if I ate this, I could tit through the eye of a needle at 30 paces.
Theres only one thing I can imagine that would be worse than Jack Monroe talking to me on the phone. And that would be Jack Monroe reciting her slam poetry at me down the phone.
I'm grunking, so apologies if this lands mid-chaos... But I'm invoking the squigs from last nights fight - "you zoomed in? You effing pervert!!"
No one ever has tomato soup and thinks hmm I know what this needs, more soup! (Especially not @MancBee)
Whenever you grunk Jack (and we know you do) no one is going to ring you, or go to your house. Or whatever you think we are going to do to, hoping you can use it to ‘bring down tattle’ or whatever.
She's so desperate for drama. We've ignored the number so she started some pointless beef with the "sentient hams" and even they can't be arsed.
Everything about this is ridiculous… but at first the vinegar is optional “if you fancy” then it is a instruction: add the vinegar.
Did she not notice that whilst editing in biro in her hammock?
Why does she blend everything? I read this recipe and realised that her shameful blending of a white sauce for lasagna on DKL is because she actually doesn’t know how to make a roux.
Give me the confidence of a person who decides to present a prime time cooking show, where the job title includes cooking delicious and inspiring dishes live, and can’t make a simple roux or soup.
Last edited:
Or phone sex chat. Bloody hell. 'I am in bed with a pot of self love stew, it's hot,it's sloppy baby.'
' now i am rubbing table salt and eucalyptus leaves ( from the garden, over my lady bit, does it turn you on baby'
Didn't she claim she could
everyone to their front door by their IP address (this lie that influencers spread explained here) ? 
!ring ring! 
"Hello, Jack Monroe, Queen of Pov."
"Granola!" Click...brrrrrrrrrr.
"Hello, Jack Monroe, Queen of Pov."
"Granola!" Click...brrrrrrrrrr.
Oh to have the kind of leisurely lifestyle where you can get up late, drink a laxative smoothie and have a nice relaxed tit before heading to the hammock to argue with strangers on Twitter for 12 hours straight.
When I was a teen we used to always laugh at the ads for phone sex lines in the scuzzier tabloids. They were usually accent-based - horny geordie girls, horny Scottish girls, horny cockneys, etc but sometimes it would be call xxx for and then a specific scenario.Or phone sex chat. Bloody hell. 'I am in bed with a pot of self love stew, it's hot,it's sloppy baby.'
' now i am rubbing table salt and eucalyptus leaves ( from the garden, over my lady bit, does it turn you on baby'
The one that has always stuck in my head was girl flashes tits while eating chips, which seemed really oddly specific and also bizarre for a phone line? But it does make me think there could be a market for girl eats bedsoup sexily. Go on, Jack, do it for the spite orangery!
Perhaps she thinks it’s like the old movies where the police get someone to stay on the line for as long as possible to trace the call. And then they’re like “We found the kidnapper! He’s at 123 Bungalow Road!”Didn't she claim she could
She couldn’t she’d never keep them on the hook long enough to make any money. They’d be asking for a refund.
She's small potatoes and they don't want to chew the fat but she still gets to sit back and ride the gravy train.
Her ham fisted efforts to bring home the bacon could result in her goose being cooked and egg all over her face.
Use your loaf, pal! You're not cool beans and we won't be buttering you up.
Lest we forget #suppernannyOh my god I forgot about #thunderclap and I have just cringed myself inside out all over again
‘Insert pretty much any word here’ is my least favourite Jack.
She is really bloody pumble boiling at the moment. I’m so sick of all her ridiculous, pathetic attempts at getting attention and drama in her life just so she can avoid looking at herself and realising that her life is tit because of how she behaves and the choices she makes.
Ping the ping off twatbag.
She is really bloody pumble boiling at the moment. I’m so sick of all her ridiculous, pathetic attempts at getting attention and drama in her life just so she can avoid looking at herself and realising that her life is tit because of how she behaves and the choices she makes.
Ping the ping off twatbag.
I'm sorting the new thread...
- Status