Jack Monroe #343 A heavy dose of chickpea and loathing

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veronica71

As a budget cook making what look like child friendly cookies you’d think she may have mentioned that baking them (and provided the recipes and coatings) is a good low cost thing to do with the kids during the summer holidays…..but then it wouldn’t be about her would it
 
Reactions: 45
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Soapy Dolphin

I would prefer to call it Biscuit Day as we don't all hoover up the crumbs from the table of Georgia Church Suppers.
However, she has done Cookie Day 2 weeks in a row so as well as being a completed it completed it MATE she will henceforth be the font of all biscuity data.
 
Reactions: 36

People-huv-tae-know

I know an ancient dental riddle;

Thirty white horses on a red hill
First they champ,
Then they stamp,
Then they stand still.
 
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jenny2603

Message for Concerned Czech Jack.

Ne, nejsem v pořádku. Viděl jsem nějaké příšerné sušenky a teď je mi hrozně špatně.

No, I am not OK. I saw some horrible cookies and now I feel very sick.
 
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traumatised sideboard

She really needs some new material. It's always stepping on glass, falling down the spiral stairs or a crumbling tooth. I want to see an electrocution or a head injury sustained from an errant tennis ball that causes her to become entangled in her hammock and blinded by her own tits.

Also she made 34 cookies. You're too early for thread 344 unless you're planning a supreme chaos for later on.
 
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Tell.A.Tale

I see the confirmation statement and 2019 accounts have been filed and posted to Companies House. Have I missed a dissection by some accountant Fraus?
2020 and 2021 are still missing
 
Reactions: 22

Boogs

I’m sure she is making notes and will be at A&E with her best urban decay by next week.
 
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Django

Ooh, isn't 344% the inflation rate for food for the poors?

https://giphy.com/51UdTLvbyReqNK3Bic
 
Reactions: 24

auntylil

Tell.A.Tale said:
I see the confirmation statement and 2019 accounts have been filed and posted to Companies House. Have I missed a dissection by some accountant Fraus?
2020 and 2021 are still missing
Click to expand...
The company will be dissolved as at 26/7 so chances are, she's completed it mate! We are guessing ? that she's probably paid her fines and cleared her debts, but who knows what she's done.

Hi Jac
Marmalade Atkins said:
View attachment 1434885

View attachment 1434886
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Hi Jack! (Could she make it any more obvious she's been grunking?)
 
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traumatised sideboard

It is @Django that is why the next thread will be consecrated. I'm going to put on ceremonial robes and perform an ancient Greek Pythagorean triangulation ritual to open the gates to the 344th dimension.
 
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Valiofthedolls

I’ve changed my avi. I like to call it “Study of the Repulsive Looking Sad Cookie on the Right”. I’m not sure about it tho, I might have to bring Jackie C back STAT.
*C stands for Collins, not Cunt. My usual avi being a Fabulous Jackie not a Fatuous Jackie

ETA that top row look like they’re filled with some sort of repulsive coughed up bronchial snot mixture. What the vaguely greenish tinge is THAT about?!
 
Reactions: 44

Mrs Peel

Yes. Someone objected to the striking off in January (probably a creditor such as HMRC) and in order for it to be dissolved she would have had to take care of the debt. Maybe that was the reason for the HMRC phone call a while ago.
 
Reactions: 18

TheDragonWithAFlagon

Marmalade Atkins said:
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Oh, you dozy mare.


You don't have RA, then. You've never had RA.

Peri means there's swelling around the joint, not inside it. And in this case, calcium crystals irritating the soft tissues.

That's not rheumatoid arthritis. That's why you aren't on the Big Boy medications. Because there is fuck all wrong with your immune system. It's also often a one and done - you stop growing the crystals, stop doing the activity that caused the injury - like benchpressing the hereditary monarch 300 times a day - it gets better.





You've just got overuse injuries. You'll be fine. No problems with your immune system, no scary medications, no need to be shielding during Covid (immunocompromised my arse). Nothing to worry about.
 
Reactions: 61

Ostapbender

Jackie Magazine style photo story. Who will try a bite?
Jack has made some of her special lemon cookies. She heads down to the local football club to see if anyone wants a snack


Giving up, she tries the fire station

Shit, it's Old Chief, better leave. Looks like he wants a word.

Oh hello officer! Just a smol pixie here. May I shake your hand?

Uh oh, he wants a word too. Better do as he says... for now

How dare you accuse me of poisoning. I've cooked for Mary Portas for fuck's sake!
 
Reactions: 50

Nottonightbabe

This is what they should look like -



 
Reactions: 86
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