Jack Monroe #340 Not a professional account

[Boogs]

Poor Harold sounds as conflicted about his identity as Jack is. Hates lesbian clothing but dresses like one.

Harold got so angry he punched a wall: "why must they flaunt it with their outfits and tattoos? Some of them would look smashing if they made the effort."

Just pop on a flowery frock and red lipstick and you’ll feel so much better love. A lady doctor told me so.

 

[Jelly Bean]

I suppose quite often what attracts you to a person can become the thing that gives you the ick. Maybe Jack's uniform of elasticated combat jeans, dirty bovver boots, grey smelly jumper and sweatstained pigskin hat, which seemed so saucy at first, just lost its charm for him.
When she first had her eye on him wasn't she going all out glamour with lots of eye makeup and that pleather bomber jacket?

 

[jenny2603]

I suppose quite often what attracts you to a person can become the thing that gives you the ick. Maybe Jack's uniform of elasticated combat jeans, dirty bovver boots, grey smelly jumper and sweatstained pigskin hat, which seemed so saucy at first, just lost its charm for him.
When she first had her eye on him wasn't she going all out glamour with lots of eye makeup and that pleather bomber jacket?

Poor Harold thought he was getting Mistress Sex Jack and instead got unwashed breeks and criminal jumper Jack. It must have been awfully disappointing for him.

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

Oh hun

 

[jenny2603]

Oh hun

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If you type the words "despair on a wire rack" into Google images, that's the first picture that comes up.

 

[Boogs]

Who is her appreciative audience? Does she have all the chairs out in her garden having a teddy bears tea party?

 

[Fruitjack]

I see rear foo foo man (he has 257k followers, will I start a thread?) raised 20k for his go fund me before closing it, for being sued by a Tory MP, for something he hasn’t denied doing. It makes me wonder how much Jack, who has double the followers, got when she asked people to PayPal her to sue a notoriously awful MP. I’m guessing it won’t be far off that total, though of course as it was all totally hidden in PayPal we’ll never know. At least Mr ‘Give it some minge’ was transparent.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Two different kinds of cookie. Both of them are tit.

 

[Captainmouse]

I would count vaping as smoking but some people (probably people who vape) don't. It doesn't for one second surprise me that Jack thinks 'vaper' is interchangeable with 'non-smoker'.


BIB walri
On topic-ish: I wonder how they get their post?

Most vapers don’t class it a smoking. Post probably comes by helicopter, or air pumble

 

[Mrs Peel]

Oh hun

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You could take someone's eye out with those hockey pucks.

 

[Emmapism]

So Harold didn't like the food then? SB doesn't declare everything you cook 'the best ever'?

That appreciative audience comment is so LADEN lads

 

[Lazarus]

I see rear foo foo man (he has 257k followers, will I start a thread?) raised 20k for his go fund me before closing it, for being sued by a Tory MP, for something he hasn’t denied doing. It makes me wonder how much Jack, who has double the followers, got when she asked people to PayPal her to sue a notoriously awful MP. I’m guessing it won’t be far off that total, though of course as it was all totally hidden in PayPal we’ll never know. At least Mr ‘Give it some minge’ was transparent.

yes, please start a thread. middle class wankers fundraising for lawsuits is the kind of sickening shite i am against.
oh, and her who was raising money for her kids school uniforms. i had a look at her Nitter again earlier - can confirm i still despise her. can also confirm she still doesn't have enough followers to have a thread of her own, sadly.
She hasn't reached her target yet, so looks like she might need to dig deep and pay for part of her kids uniforms herself.

 

[Cack Conroe]

Oh hun

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Are they really “cookies”, or are they dried up, rock hard rolls, with all the itty bitty seeds and virtuous roughage, but no one wanted to eat them so they are going blue and mouldy?

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Didn't Jack say that she and the most recent OH dressed the same? When she was wanging on about them practically married because they have matching mugs and the same taste in clothes?

So OH hated the way Jack dressed even though they dress the same way? If that's true (incapable of lying ) then why would Jack want to remain friends with someone like this?

It's just occurred to me that perhaps the reason OH didn't like the way Jack dressed was because they realised that she was starting to dress just like them which is, as Jack might put it, a bit~weird~Pal.

Hold the phone she admitted to twitter that she considered wearing a bed sheet to an awards do, then wore some stinky 3 day old clothes instead. Erm.. I think he was just confused about her fashion she dresses like a three year old who has just learned to dress themselves.

Those cookies look like rocks. How many visitors need emergency dentist right now!

 

[Boyo]

Who is her appreciative audience? Does she have all the chairs out in her garden having a teddy bears tea party?

Chairs in the garden. A victim tied to each one. “Scream all you like, my pretties. This is such a middle-class neighbourhood, no-one will come. They’ll all pretend they can’t hear it or just tut. Mwah-hah-hah. Pumble shortbread?”

 

[Fruitjack]

yes, please start a thread. middle class wankers fundraising for lawsuits is the kind of sickening shite i am against.
oh, and her who was raising money for her kids school uniforms. i had a look at her Nitter again earlier - can confirm i still despise her. can also confirm she still doesn't have enough followers to have a thread of her own, sadly.
She hasn't reached her target yet, so looks like she might need to dig deep and pay for part of her kids uniforms herself.

Done.
Too short. Give it some minge.

 

[Jelly Bean]

She is a literal food writer and making such a fuss about making some bleeping biscuits. I made some last week with my 2 yr old grandchild with less palaver. And they looked better. They literally are child's play. Omg why are people such simpletons praising her for doing the most basic thing ever - it should be her job.
It's like praising Stephen Hawking for knowing his times tables.

ETA the one thing in their favour is no one can accuse her of using shop bought ones there

 

[colouredlines]

I made chocolate chip cookies this week, and not to TOOT TOOT my own horn but they're good (apart from the trayload I burned and had to throw away...I'm not autistic so sometimes my cooking goes wrong).

Jack's cookies look frankly dangerous for someone prone to ouchy mouth. Also mixing Smarties and M&Ms is strangely offensive to me, it just feels wrong? Tell me I'm not alone...

 

[Onestorytoomany]

It's impressive now solid they look, I wonder if she should use them as stones on OH windows.

" You told me it was forever, here have a cookie! You bastard" * glass shatters* end scene.

 

[Ostapbender]

Harold got so angry he punched a wall: "why must they flaunt it with their outfits and tattoos? Some of them would look smashing if they made the effort."

I can hear Harold in my head, thinking to himself: "Say what you like about the younger lady, she's got a cracking figure. I wouldn't be allowed to compliment her on it, I'd be arrested, but trousers are very narrow these days, aren't they? I remember when the birds all wore flares..." etc