Jack Monroe #34 Medicine won't lift her gloom. Lady doc says Facetune!

[Cookiecookie]

Not wanting to tread on the toes of our esteemed house detectives here, but I’ve don’t some deep research on the pouty photo myself.. after she posted the photo of her as a man using that faceapp the other day/week I downloaded it and had a go to see what I looked like as a bloke (spoiler - shite).
But, on the app there is a ‘feminine’ filter (urgh) which I had a go on. This basically engorges your lips and gives you the sort of big wet eyes bambi would be jealous of.
I’d bet my (non pedigree) cat that she’s used this for the consumptive portrait as I don’t believe her facetune skills extend much beyond the blur tool.

That's a good suggestion. She's definitely done something beyond chewing her lip.

I tried that faceapp, and look weirdly like a couple of my male cousins. For some reason the aging one turned my daughter into an old man with a beard, which was actually pretty funny.

 

[Silver Linings]

She’s already got bored of people leaving her to it.

 

[chocolate choux]

26 minutes and not a second more
The strawberry one initially feels soothing? We need numbers, Jack!

 

[maytoseptember]

I just can’t believe the levels of attention seeking. Can’t eat, can’t even drink, oh the agony...

What makes me uncomfortable is that this was self-inflicted. She’s just broadcasting her self harm over and over.

 

[Oohthedrama]

Twitter: Be nice in the morning, use BLOCK CAPITALS by late afternoon, and by midnight, all deleted.

you know what.
2020 has been such a mind duck, aliens, pandemics, protests, Trump is still in power, Boris is still in power

there is so much tit going on right now that none of us would have thought possible. ever.....
If we woke up to this tomorrow would it be the straw that broke the camels back.

If this ever happens, the world needs to stop and we need to get the duck off because something isn’t right.
(don’t worry. This is NOT a real tweet. We’re not there yet)

 

[emmer_moans]

She's actually just reminded me of Boris Johnson. Similar to the 'go to work... DON'T go to Work...if you can but don't....' type speech, you can imagine the following:-

(Read in Boris' confused stumbling speech style)

'Give me your advice, I desperately need it. But DON'T give me advice, IVE TRIED EVERYTHING, STOP suggesting things to me, go away you cretins. But seriously be kind and let me know some tips BUT DON'T suggest things I've already tried.'

Next morning: 'I was grouchy because you GAVE me concern and advice. But I'm back now so GIVE me more advice (if I haven't tried those things yet). Might delete later.'

Edit to add: just my theatrical play on style of writing, m'lud. Not a direct quote. Think along the lines of Matt Lucas mimicking Boris' style. A parody, if you will.

 

[NP]

Morning you disgusting cabal of trolls.

I SHAN’T be watching that poetry video. I suffer badly with secondhand embarrassment to the point that I switch off the TV the moment someone starts singing. The X Factor is like torture for me. I’m not that much of a glutton for punishment to watch Jack recite poetry.

 

[Silver Linings]

Nobody is answering her. Seems like her behaviour yesterday may have finally registered with them. Good!

 

[PoorPatrol]

Morning you disgusting cabal of trolls.

I SHAN’T be watching that poetry video. I suffer badly with secondhand embarrassment to the point that I switch off the TV the moment someone starts singing. The X Factor is like torture for me. I’m not that much of a glutton for punishment to watch Jack recite poetry.

Ha! Me too!! If I was Jack, you might say I have a visceral, lateral, literal, horrific, hellish reaction to people embarrassing themselves. I have a weird thing as well where if a film or something is going to be based on some kind of misunderstanding or mistaken identity, I really just can’t bear it, waiting for the penny to drop. I get a feeling a bit like shortly before a panic attack, and have to stop watching. We should make a career out of this ailment #empathsaresadpleasesendcash

 

[NP]

Ha! Me too!! If I was Jack, you might say I have a visceral, lateral, literal, horrific, hellish reaction to people embarrassing themselves. I have a weird thing as well where if a film or something is going to be based on some kind of misunderstanding or mistaken identity, I really just can’t bear it, waiting for the penny to drop. I get a feeling a bit like shortly before a panic attack, and have to stop watching. We should make a career out of this ailment #empathsaresadpleasesendcash

YES! I have an issue with films where someone is wrongly accused or there is a huge injustice of some sort. I physically can’t watch that sort of stuff. It makes me so uncomfortable.

 

[no-no]

The Grace brand, guys! Gotta be the Grace brand! Not this one for obvious reasons...

 

[Saint_clemmie]

This reply is bleeping exceptional right?

I'm making a big fat roast this afternoon, and am considering using Jack's best ever Yorkshire pudding recipe as a bleeping laugh. Obviously I'll make some real ones as well, I'm not an animal.

Editing to say.. I won't be making her recipe for a bleeping laugh now. I went on her website to get the "recipe" and it's so full of ads, it is awful to use. Honestly it's the worst bleeping website I've seen in a long time. Disgusted. She can stick her bleeping horrible Yorkshire puddings.

high praise from the thread legend!

imagine your sad little face when you pull the Yorkshire’s out of the oven. don’t ruin your Sunday.

 

[GothPrincess]

Right fraus, about to chuck ingredients into slow cooker (only the one...) for beef caserole for tea. Any suggestions to add? Going for usual onions/carrots/tomatoes but am happy to bow down to your superior wisdom. xxxx

Rinsed beans & jif lemon. Finish with horse jizz.

 

[Silver Linings]

@NoseyParkour and @PoorPatrol you have literally just described me! I used to have to watch soaps with my mum and misunderstandings/wrongful imprisonment etc are their lifeblood. It’s a physical squirm reaction. Horrible.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Presumably, after three slow cookers full of chicken porridge and coincidentally three different flavours of grace brand aloe Vera juice, she’s on the shitter for the rest of today.

 

[Readingismyhobby]

I’ve woken up again and there’s a new thread
I watched the “poetry” vid until the “first duck off” then jumped ship ( life’s too short).
Hope everyone is well and enjoying Sunday.
To everyone with grouchy teens, they do grow out of it

 

[Silver Linings]

Presumably, after three slow cookers full of chicken porridge and coincidentally three different flavours of grace brand aloe Vera juice, she’s on the shitter for the rest of today.

She said she’d put some recipes up yesterday afternoon too, those people must be so hungry!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

I couldn't quote @Veronicaaa as the last thread is closed, but she posted Jack's Twitter figures for the past 24 hours, if anyone missed them. She really did lose a lot .

 

[LittleBitAlexis]

Right fraus, about to chuck ingredients into slow cooker (only the one...) for beef caserole for tea. Any suggestions to add? Going for usual onions/carrots/tomatoes but am happy to bow down to your superior wisdom. xxxx

Pearl barley and (if you drink alcohol) a big glug of red wine.

 

[Smellycat18]

How is there another thread since yesterday????? Going back to where I left off, to see if Jack has done a chaos / been a dick. I may be some time....